Drunk hobo: Is this the A train?
Girl: Yeah.
Drunk hobo: Is it goin anywhere?
Girl: No.
–A Train
Drunk hobo: Is this the A train?
Girl: Yeah.
Drunk hobo: Is it goin anywhere?
Girl: No.
–A Train
Girl: I don't know why the express stops at Shea Stadium. No one ever gets off here.
Guy: True.
Girl: I mean I can understand if it's during the baseball season… Actually, even then no one gets off here.
–7 Train
Girl to friend: I mean, if he was rich I would pretend to like him; but he's not, so…
–46th & 3rd
Guy on street to couple: Baby girl, you're just embarrassing yourself. Don't do it. You know you're just with him for his money cuz everyone knows white men ain't got no dick.
–5th & 32nd
Ghetto young man: That is why I'm gonna marry a rich white woman. My daughter needs a good life; my sugar mama can pay for her to go to a private school. I'm a playa, but I gotta marry a rich white woman for my baby girl.
–A Train
20-something guy to friends: So this chick I like says "let's wait until you start making money til we start dating." So I said to her "what makes you think I want to date you once I start making money?"
–St Mark's
Average-sized woman on cell: He said "big boned." Yeah, "you're a big boned girl… Like your dad, kinda big boned." (pause) Yeah, so, I didn't really feel like eating much after that.
–Queens
Overheard by: bdlilrbt
Girl to friend: I always think I'm a thin person, but then I look into the mirror and realize I'm not.
–3rd & 13th
Super skinny Japanese girl: I brought my juice with me. Then I ordered dessert. But my juice just looked better than eating dessert.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: dignell
Middle aged women to friend: Yeah, we took her in for a few weeks. She was fine, but didn't eat much. But that's because she kind of has an eating disorder. (they burst out into a fit of laughter)
–F Train
Girl getting soda to friend: You know, it's the ice that makes you fat. I heard that somewhere.
–Cafeteria, Marymount Manhattan
Overheard by: Hannah
Man to woman: What about your coworker?
Woman: Oh yeah! She was both nice and hostile.
–E Train
Woman #1: So it turns out that the family is that cult family… Something-onian.
Woman #2: Smith…?
Woman #1: Smithsonian, no, that's a different family.
–Q Train
Girl: I haven't told my new roommate that our upstairs neighbor sounds like the Count when she's having sex.
–L Train
Man to two female companions: Don't you hate it when you go into your bathroom and find your roommate's pubes on the sink?
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Sarah
Jersey mom: We're so lucky she got a good roommate, one that doesn't stay up late or listen to rock music.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Liz
Guy to friend: If you are 35 and living in New York with 3 roommates, you should just shoot yourself, right?
–Outside Whole Foods, Union Square
Confused NYU male: The only people I would consider hooking up with are like, my roommate and like, Carl, my cousin.
–University Place & E 9th
20-something suit on phone: Yeah, man. Just come over. We can spoon and talk about chicks and shit.
–Wall & Pearl
Overheard by: traceface
Thug to another: Those bitches be cuddlin' your wounds!
–42nd St
Hispanic woman on phone: Yeah, it's crazy snowin' outside. (pause) Uh-huh, yeah, you wanna cuddle. (pause) Hahaha, uh-oh! (pause) Uh-oh, spaghetti-o! (pause) Haha, no, you've already done that. (pause) Hahaha… You've done that already. I have to spin the other way now.. (pause) He he he, you're crazy. Hee heee. (pause) Well, you have a lovely day inside a warm place!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Em Allears
Crazy lady to herself: Does anyone wanna snuggle me for the hell of it? (five minutes later) Why are all these people here? Is it a workday? Cuz if it is, I'm going to get fired. I need a beer!
–G Train
Overheard by: LaughedOutLoud
Guy at cafe: I have pillows just for spooning.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
Guy #1: Yeah, we lived together for a couple of months.
Guy #2: Where at?
Guy #1: Rikers.
–F Train
Girl: You know how, like, Chris* lives in the Bronx?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: And you know how like there are drive-bys there all the time, right?
Guy: (gives her a skeptical look)
Girl: Well, Chris* was going home late the other night and there was a drive-by! He says he saw blood and everything! Can you believe that? Blood! Ewwwwww!
Guy: If you witnessed a drive-by shooting your first reaction would be, “ewwwwww!”? Mine would be “I gotta get out of here before I get shot!”
Girl: Anyway, it just proves my point about the Bronx.
–6 Train
