You Know, When the Earth is Closest to the Sun

Girl: The polar ice caps are melting…
Guy #1: Yeah, ’cause of global warming!
Guy #2: Um…it’s summertime.

–F train

Overheard by: cupcake

Posted on January 13, 2016
Girls, Guys, Heat, Idiots, On the Subway, Politics, Stupidity, Talking/Convos

So Yada Yada Yada, We Spent the Night in the E.R.

Twin sister #1, indignantly: I tried to get him the least sexual plant I could find. I mean, a cactus, how much less sexual could you get?
Twin sister #2, thoughtfully: You really can't get any less sexual than a cactus.

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: Zora

Posted on January 11, 2016
Gifts, On the Subway, Sexuality, Sisters, Trees and plants

The JDating Of Wednesday One-Liners

JAP girl on line: Why would I be boogieing at temple?

–H&M

Overheard by: Sandjiggie

Redhead JAP: It's too bright, I can't hear you…

–41st & 3rd

JAP: Is saving the whales still, like, a thing?

–F Train

20-something JAP on cell: I mean: I don't want to say that I live in a bubble, but the only people I've spoken to in the last week and a half are you and my doorman.

–42nd St & Lexington

Overheard by: Pete

Posted on January 9, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Dancing, JAPs, Judaism, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Store, Wednesday One-Liners

If You're Very Good, a Straight Man

Woman moving through train: Not a gentleman.
Man: When you start acting like a lady, I'll start acting like a man.

–L Train

Overheard by: jau522

Posted on January 8, 2016
Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, On the Subway, Passengers

Your Editors Are Feeling a Little Bit Drunk Just Reading About It.

Drunk girl: That whole drink was just Maker's Mark and a cinnamon stick, there was one shot with half Tuaca, and half cider. That's it.
Friend: Shhh! Everyone else is staring.
Drunk girl: Pshhhh! Everyone just got drunk just from hearing what was in my drink.

–Q Train

Posted on January 5, 2016
Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Friends, Girls, On the Subway, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Still Can’t Get Over Joey Picking Pacey (That Dumb Bitch)

Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying.

–N train, Astoria

Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

–Eckerd, Astoria

Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.

–79th St entrance, FDR

Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today.

–Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Stephen and Allison

Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich!

–New York Public Library

Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library

Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism.