Older woman: I'll go over to the Arab across the street and borrow his machete.
Chubby brunette teenager: Grandma, he's not a Sikh… And he's not Arab. He's Bangladeshi.
Older woman: So they say. Who knows what any of them are?
–Central Park
Older woman: I'll go over to the Arab across the street and borrow his machete.
Chubby brunette teenager: Grandma, he's not a Sikh… And he's not Arab. He's Bangladeshi.
Older woman: So they say. Who knows what any of them are?
–Central Park
Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.
–Central Park West
Female suit on cell: I once gave Carrot Top a massage.
–UCB Theater
Overheard by: Robert
Ghetto girl on cell: I know you ain't no Jay Leno and I don't speak Avatar!
–Fort Greene
Sober guy to drunk older guy: You know what you look like?? You look like a fucked-up Bobby Brown.
–3 Train
Woman at outdoor cafe: She's not that bad, she's more Snooki than Fran Drescher.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rick
Girl on cell, looking up: I don't know, nigga! I'm standin' in fronna some ancient castle or some shit.
–Wall St & William St
Southern guy on cell: No, seriously, there's shade on the side of the streets here! (pause) No… No, I know. (pause) I'm sitting on a bench, outside, in the shade!
–Central Park
Locationally-challenged woman on cell: I'm on the street, kinda near Blockbuster?
–Blockbuster, Broadway & 9th
Girl on cell: I'm not sure where I am, everything is Asian.
–Bakery, Chinatown
Middle-aged woman on cell: We're in Soho, and he has a three-legged dog.
–Bowery & Spring
Overheard by: Kaze
Dude #1: I feel like we're karmically linked. You know?
Dude #2: (silence)
Dude #1: No, you don't.
Dude #1: Yeah, I do. I think I do.
Dude #2: Like, there was a reason this happened when it did… And it all goes back to the crop circle.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Trust No One
Hot girl #1: Oh, wow, guys, he just texted me and asked me if I want to go out for drinks with him!
Hot girl #2: He did?
Hot girl #3: Didn't he make it with your sister?
Hot girl #2: Yeah, why do you want to go out with him for?
Hot girl #3: Double dipping, that's why.
Hot girl #1: Yeah, why not? Let's keep it in the family.
–Central Park
Overheard by: who say's that!!!
Teenage girl #1: What are you doing this summer? Want to have an adventure?
Teenage girl #2: Such as?
Teenage girl #1: Teaching monkeys in Africa how to eat bananas.
Teenage girl #2: I think you can handle that one yourself.
Teenage girl #1: Why are you so mean?
–Central Park
Girl to nun asking for money: No, thank you sweetie.
Nun: Huh! Must be that wig you got on.
Girl: Excuse me… What did you just say?
Nun: Don't disrespect me!
Girl: Are you kidding me? I don't have to give you anything! Who are you to make a comment about my hair!?
–Bryant Park
Old hippie, after Furthur show: Wow! I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect that!
Wife: I thought that after Jerry died, it was all over!
Old hippie: Man, I swear, there were times I'd look up, and I swear I saw Jerry on the stage!
Wife: His spirit!
Old hippie: How much spirit can you have to leave so much spirit behind?!
–MCU Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Margarita
Five-year-old girl #1, seriously: You know we're gonna need a drummer if we wanna sound awesome.
Five-year-old girl #2, enthusiastically: Yeah! Boom boom boom boom boom!
–Inwood Hill Park
Overheard by: Joshy Sweetpants
Doofy man: My stripper friend has a tattoo on her back.
Woman: Oh, really..?
Doofy man: Yeah, and she said you can only understand it if you do me from the back. (laughs)
–Inwood Dog Park
Overheard by: infinite
