NJ guy #1: So right after I left my parents house I met up with the hooker, best use of birthday money ever.
NJ guy #2: But you’re underage, that’s like illegal!
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Overheard by: Stewart Lane
NJ guy #1: So right after I left my parents house I met up with the hooker, best use of birthday money ever.
NJ guy #2: But you’re underage, that’s like illegal!
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Overheard by: Stewart Lane
Six-year-old girl, after careful consideration: Oh, well. That’s Ok. A baby is almost as much fun as a trampoline.
–Sidewalk Cafe
Guy to friend at 1 AM on a Thursday: Hey, I have an idea -let’s talk about how Dan fucked my ex-girlfriend! That’ll be fun, that’s a good story!
–PATH Train to Hoboken
Overheard by: Katie
Cali girl, to her roommate: We need to be more like coke whores but, like, without the coke, and not the whore part, but just like, opulent and fun.
–133rd & Frederick Douglass
Overheard by: Nathalie
Guy on cell: But, mother, maybe she wants to have fun for a couple of years before she becomes a nun.
–Midtown
Overheard by: Killer
20-something woman on cell: When I left my mom just now she said, ‘Have fun gay-tripping in California.’ Uhmmmmm?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: McF
Middle aged babysitter corralling flock of young children down the street: This should be fun… How come it isn’t? Anybody got any ideas?
–18th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Dave
Homeless man: Eliot Spitzer for President!… Make the White House the whorehouse!
–Battery Park
NYU guy: So my friend who works for Eliot Spitzer called me the other day and asked me to ask his roommate to delete all his emails. He didn’t say why, but then about two hours later I found out about the whole prostitute thing… And now I’m a little worried.
–NYU Bus
AmNY newspaper guy, handing out papers with Eliot Spitzer’s picture on the front page: $80,000 for a ho, and we can’t get a raise!
–Outside 33rd St Station, 33rd & Park
Crazy guy, speeding on a bicycle through a crowd: Don’t even think about it people! I gotta make a party at Spitzer’s in ten minutes!
–43rd & Lexington
Overheard by: Dan J
Old lady: Why, if I were young like you, I could be a call-girl to scum-of-the-earth Spitzer!
–Laundromat, 34th St, Long Island City
Guy #1: He almost got married to a 15-hundred-dollar a night hooker!
Guy #2: Really? So, what broke the deal?
Guy #1: He found out she was a 15-hundred-dollar a night hooker.
Guy #2: He wasn’t paying her the whole time?
Guy #1: Naw, he was getting it for free!
Guy #2: Awesome.
–122nd & Broadway
Professor: What’s the second largest profession in the U.S.?
Jersey dude: Prostitutes!
–NYU
Girl: If I were stranded somewhere with a dead hooker in my trunk, you’re still the person I’d call.
Guy: To this day, that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received.
–1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
White nerd in monotone: Look, just because I’m a motherfucking P-I-M-P does not give you the right to kiss up on my women.
Black guy: Fool, don’t be trippin’! You ain’t got but one woman, and she’s fat.
–45th & 9th
Young woman: I paid them a little bit. They paid for Mark to go to a 50 thousand dollar drug rehab and recovery program, so I think they’ll be willing to loan us a thousand.
Man: Maybe, but he was taking it up the butt for crack. I think that’s a whole different scenario.
–Staten Island Ferry
Man with large bag: Out of the way! Get out of the way! Hooker on the job! Out of the way!
–42nd & Broadway
Guido dad walking out of American Girl with young daughter in hand: 43 dollars for a doll… She looking like a hooker!
–5th Ave
Overheard by: RP
Cabbie: No, sir! We do not stick our head out of the cab to yell at hookers!
–Times Square
Suit: I paid you five hundred dollars and you won’t fucking let me touch you!
–Starbucks, Spring St
Overheard by: thwarted
20-something girl on cell: … So he is gonna buy me a plane ticket to come down to Florida for two days, basically to have sex, since it’s not like any kind of relationship… I mean, that kinda makes me into a prostitute, right? But I’m totally down with that [laughs].
–34th St
Guy on cell: Hello, where are you located? … Alright, so what kind of girls do you have? African?
–Astor Pl
Overheard by: Jessie
Young girl to group of friends: We would sell for so much. We’re all young and fresh!
–L train
Crazy crackhead to himself: Bitch! They stole my fucking money! You know they did this one! You just fucking fall asleep and they just jacked me. Fucking cunts. [Undressing] I mean, fucking seriously! I just paid them and I just pass out and they just fucking steal my money. Those fucking asshole cunts. Where the fuck is my stash?!
McDonald’s manager: Sir, please put your pants on. There are children around.
–McDonald’s near Madison Square Garden
