Scary, stalker queer: Hello! You’re really cute.
Scared, stalked queer: I have to consult my lawyer, but I am pretty sure your breath constitutes me suing you for assault.
–Fire Island Pines
Overheard by: Bathroom Spy
Scary, stalker queer: Hello! You’re really cute.
Scared, stalked queer: I have to consult my lawyer, but I am pretty sure your breath constitutes me suing you for assault.
–Fire Island Pines
Overheard by: Bathroom Spy
Pissed off gay guy on phone: What should you have said? Oh, I don’t know, maybe "Hi, I’m Michael, I have syphilis!"
–13th & Broadway
Guy: That’d be a great gig, but I don’t know if you want to be the face of venereal disease.
–Cafe Esperanto
Woman coming off train: Get away from me! You got AIDS on yo’ dick!
–R Train
Overheard by: going to the clinic
Chick: As long as it’s not AIDS it’s okay. I’m vaccinated against everything except AIDS.
–Columbia University
20-something male talking to friend: You know the way I see it: AIDS will kill you, herpes is just an inconvenience…
–34th between 2nd and 3rd
Overheard by: LadyEDdy
Columbia student, on her public health exam: I just didn’t know where to put the gonorrhea! It had to go somewhere, I just couldn’t figure out where!
–School of Public Heatlh, Columbia University
Loud guy: So he gave her a venereal disease. That’s not a reason to marry her!
–Blue Hill Restaurant
Guy #1: I dont understand why they gotta touch little boys.
Guy #2: Hmmm.
Guy #1: You touch little boys?!
Guy #2: No honey, I just touch grown men.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Dj Dharma
Tourist to no one in particular: Which way is the gay area?
Queer in black leather gear: You’re here.
Tourist: Where are the gay stores?
Queer in black leather gear: All around here.
Tourist: Where are the gay people?
Tourist friend: I think they go out more in the night time, right?
Queer in black leather gear: Go back to Kansas.
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: amalia
Gay guy #1: I’m not sure how big he was…?
Gay guy #2: All I know is that when a guy is that big, the next day I have such bad flatulence and diarrhea, it’s ridiculous…
–A Train
Overheard by: brainygirl
FDNY lieutenant to EMTs: Hey, get this! Some guy just called 911 because some guy looked scary!
–34th & 10th
Overheard by: guy in back of ambulance
Gay guy to another: I'm terrified of successful women!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Moy
(guy with drums finishes a performance in the train)
Guy with drums: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. Help a brother out and donate some money if you enjoyed this performance. (lady in front of him looks scared)
Please donate and if you don't know what to do or are scared, smile and nod. Everything will be okay.
–E Train
Overheard by: Sleepy
Crazy bag lady to high school boy: I ain't scared of you. I'll beat you with a crowbar. Cuz I gotta crowbar in my pussy and it's way up there!
–B54 Bus
Suit on cell: And I was scared, right? Because her legs were open in the cemetery.
–Gramercy Park
Bitchy gay guy, after overhearing lengthy phone conversation: Damn, he was on the phone longer than your local congresswoman.
Girl: I don't know, I just get so much energy from him.
Bitchy gay guy: I get gas.
–36th St, Queens
Overheard by: Jamie
Brooklyn grandmother to another: My grandson is so different now that he's become a woman.
–4 Train
Middle aged man in binoculars on cell: Yeah! And just like that she threw me out! She kicked me out on my ass! She walked in and I was in her bra… and that was it!
–87th & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: GoneWithThe
Small black guy: Of course I'm a transvestite! Why else do you think it took you three guys to beat me up?
–W 36th St
Overheard by: Ellen
Twink to others: Sometimes you think a little boy is a child and then he turns out to be a much older woman.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Urch
Attractive blonde: And then the… transvestite beauty queen thing happened. You know?
–Middagh & Henry
Overheard by: Matty
20-ish girl: You would rather I put where I pee in where you shit?!
Gay teen: Yes, oh god, yes! It is better than putting where I pee in something that you bleed, pee, and have babies come out of!
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: Alberto
