Wednesday One-Liners Embrace the Stereotype

Queer: I don't want someone to fuck me with their stoma!

–11th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Amanda

Gay guy: That girl is such a Rice Krispie.

–Outside Gristedes, Christopher St

Overheard by: McF

Queer on cell: And I said to him, "Take it like the bottom you are!"

–8th St & 23rd St

Gay guy: I just got pounded by the two hottest guys I've ever seen!

–58th & 9th

Gay man (getting his hair cut by another): So we went to Fire Island this weekend and we went to this party. I said, "Patrick, you better pee on Jon right now to mark your territory."

–57th & 7th

Gay man on cell: Oh, morals disappear after 8pm!

–Amsterdam & 83rd

Posted on January 23, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Grocery Stores, Lesbians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Pee, Queer guys, Sex, The Village, Three is Company, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

But the Bangs Frame His Sores Nicely

Queer #1: I hear Jerry got a haircut.
Queer #2: It doesn’t matter: he still has scabies.

–Reade St & Lafayette

Posted on January 19, 2015
Default, Gossip, Hair, Queer guys, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I Don't Know How They Can Walk Around With Those Things

Gay #1: Women love to say that word.
Gay #2: They totally do.
Gay #1: Va-jay-jay.

–Ave B & 10th St

Overheard by: Courtney

Posted on January 16, 2015
Alphabet City, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Queer guys, Vagina, Weirdness, Words

All the World’s a Wednesday and the People Merely One-Liners

Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two!

–LaGuardia High School

Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare…

Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy.

–Gallery Players, Park Slope

Overheard by: Emily B.

Guy: …and grimace could play Mary Magdalene.

–Lincoln Center

Shake Shack patron: It was like Menopause: The musical.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Queer on cell: Honey, if you thought Menopause was funny, you are gonna piss yo pants at The Vagina Monologues!

–Walgreens, Union Square

Flyer guy to girl with Rent shirt: Why you gonna go see Rent? Have you seen it yet? The gay guy dies. Woo!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Minerva

Stagehand: Julliard is a school. It’s not like Spamalot.

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Emily B.

Posted on January 15, 2015
Actors, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Death, Depressed, Fast Times at New York High, Flyer people, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Gripes, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Park Slope, Queer guys, School and studying, Store, Teens, Theater, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Real Sunlight Isn’t Slippery Enough

Queer: So, I freaked out earlier this morning. I went to the bathroom to take a piss, whipped it out, and my dick was brown!
Fag hag, horrified: Did you not clean yourself good after anal?
Queer: No, no, I always do! But, like, I’m thinking I have an STD or something! My heart almost stopped!
Fag hag: So… Do you?
Queer: Well, no. Then I looked at my hand and it was brown, too. Then I remembered — last night I masturbated with my sister’s self tanner.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: trying to get the mental image out of my head

Posted on January 11, 2015
Colors, Fag Hags, Penis, Queer guys, Washington Square Park

He’s Gay on His Mother’s Side

High school girl #1: So he is definitely going to turn out gay.
High school girl #2: Come on. He is not going to be gay. You just think that because he is a nice, well-dressed boy.
High school girl #1: Um, exactly.
High school girl #2: Well, he is Asian! All the guys in Asia wear makeup!
High school girl #1: Stop talking. He’s only half-Asian. And gay.

–Broadway

Posted on January 11, 2015
Queer guys, Students, Teens

Breath Is Only One of My Weapons of Intimidation

Scary, stalker queer: Hello! You’re really cute.
Scared, stalked queer: I have to consult my lawyer, but I am pretty sure your breath constitutes me suing you for assault.

–Fire Island Pines

Overheard by: Bathroom Spy

Posted on January 8, 2015
Gripes, Health and Hygiene, Long Island, Queer guys

Wednesday One-Liners Can Still Lead a Normal Life

Pissed off gay guy on phone: What should you have said? Oh, I don’t know, maybe "Hi, I’m Michael, I have syphilis!"

–13th & Broadway

Guy: That’d be a great gig, but I don’t know if you want to be the face of venereal disease.

–Cafe Esperanto

Woman coming off train: Get away from me! You got AIDS on yo’ dick!

–R Train

Overheard by: going to the clinic

Chick: As long as it’s not AIDS it’s okay. I’m vaccinated against everything except AIDS.

–Columbia University

20-something male talking to friend: You know the way I see it: AIDS will kill you, herpes is just an inconvenience…

–34th between 2nd and 3rd

Overheard by: LadyEDdy

Columbia student, on her public health exam: I just didn’t know where to put the gonorrhea! It had to go somewhere, I just couldn’t figure out where!

–School of Public Heatlh, Columbia University

Loud guy: So he gave her a venereal disease. That’s not a reason to marry her!

–Blue Hill Restaurant

Posted on January 7, 2015
Advice, AIDS, All Wednesday One-Liners, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Education, Friends, Girls, Guys, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Names, On Cell, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, STDs, Students, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Women

If You Touch a Little Boy Right, He Becomes Grown

Guy #1: I dont understand why they gotta touch little boys.
Guy #2: Hmmm.
Guy #1: You touch little boys?!
Guy #2: No honey, I just touch grown men.

–Wall Street

Overheard by: Dj Dharma

Posted on January 4, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Kids, Queer guys, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

But You Can Leave Your Cute Little Dog Here

Tourist to no one in particular: Which way is the gay area?
Queer in black leather gear: You’re here.
Tourist: Where are the gay stores?
Queer in black leather gear: All around here.
Tourist: Where are the gay people?
Tourist friend: I think they go out more in the night time, right?
Queer in black leather gear: Go back to Kansas.

–16th & 8th

Overheard by: amalia

Posted on December 27, 2014
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Gays and Lesbians, Queer guys, Questions, Tourism, Tourists

Queer guys