Wednesday Sung Liners

Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: j

Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise!

–Union Square Station

Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking)

–11th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Mal Sullivan

Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt…

–2 Train

Overheard by: drew

Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl!

–Downtown 3 Train

Overheard by: Jingles

Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee…

–E Train

Posted on January 27, 2015
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Hobos, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Music, Musicians, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Pee, Physical appearance, Prison, Queer guys, Race, Shopping, Singing, Smoking, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., The Village, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Words

If Gay Muppets Filmed A Nightmare on Elmo Street

Gay guy: I don't know why, they just scare me for some reason.
Lesbian: You're scared of dildos?
Gay guy: Yeah! They're just…always hard. And that scares me.
Lesbian: They're gonna get you. They're gonna come in the night while you sleep.

–NYU Student Lounge

Posted on January 27, 2015
Dildos and Vibrators, Fears, Gays and Lesbians, Lesbians, NYU, Queer guys, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!

Gary Begins to Come Out Of His Shell

30-something gay student, in mothering tone: Can you say “turtle”?
20-something shy gay guy, softly: Turtle. I knew how to say that.

–Outside Boots and Saddle, Greenwich Village

Overheard by: ears kimmie

Posted on January 26, 2015
Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, Queer guys, Students, The Village, Words

Mostly I Just Massage Her Feet

Queer #1: It is so difficult for me to explain… like, it really hurts to be treated that way, and sometimes I just need to stop and focus on the pain and learn why it bothers me so much.
Queer #2: Why don’t you talk to your therapist about it?
Queer #1: She won’t let me talk about that stuff.

–1 train

Overheard by: Brina Guild

Posted on January 24, 2015
Advice, On the Subway, People, Places, Psychology, Queer guys, Queers, Topics

Wednesday One-Liners Embrace the Stereotype

Queer: I don't want someone to fuck me with their stoma!

–11th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Amanda

Gay guy: That girl is such a Rice Krispie.

–Outside Gristedes, Christopher St

Overheard by: McF

Queer on cell: And I said to him, "Take it like the bottom you are!"

–8th St & 23rd St

Gay guy: I just got pounded by the two hottest guys I've ever seen!

–58th & 9th

Gay man (getting his hair cut by another): So we went to Fire Island this weekend and we went to this party. I said, "Patrick, you better pee on Jon right now to mark your territory."

–57th & 7th

Gay man on cell: Oh, morals disappear after 8pm!

–Amsterdam & 83rd

Posted on January 23, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Celebrations/Parties, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Grocery Stores, Lesbians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Pee, Queer guys, Sex, The Village, Three is Company, Time, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

But the Bangs Frame His Sores Nicely

Queer #1: I hear Jerry got a haircut.
Queer #2: It doesn’t matter: he still has scabies.

–Reade St & Lafayette

Posted on January 19, 2015
Default, Gossip, Hair, Queer guys, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I Don't Know How They Can Walk Around With Those Things

Gay #1: Women love to say that word.
Gay #2: They totally do.
Gay #1: Va-jay-jay.

–Ave B & 10th St

Overheard by: Courtney

Posted on January 16, 2015
Alphabet City, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Queer guys, Vagina, Weirdness, Words

All the World’s a Wednesday and the People Merely One-Liners

Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two!

–LaGuardia High School

Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare…

Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy.

–Gallery Players, Park Slope

Overheard by: Emily B.

Guy: …and grimace could play Mary Magdalene.

–Lincoln Center

Shake Shack patron: It was like Menopause: The musical.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Queer on cell: Honey, if you thought Menopause was funny, you are gonna piss yo pants at The Vagina Monologues!

–Walgreens, Union Square

Flyer guy to girl with Rent shirt: Why you gonna go see Rent? Have you seen it yet? The gay guy dies. Woo!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Minerva

Stagehand: Julliard is a school. It’s not like Spamalot.

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Emily B.

Posted on January 15, 2015
Actors, All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Christianity, Compare/Contrast, Death, Depressed, Fast Times at New York High, Flyer people, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Gripes, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Park Slope, Queer guys, School and studying, Store, Teens, Theater, Theater & Dance, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Real Sunlight Isn’t Slippery Enough

Queer: So, I freaked out earlier this morning. I went to the bathroom to take a piss, whipped it out, and my dick was brown!
Fag hag, horrified: Did you not clean yourself good after anal?
Queer: No, no, I always do! But, like, I’m thinking I have an STD or something! My heart almost stopped!
Fag hag: So… Do you?
Queer: Well, no. Then I looked at my hand and it was brown, too. Then I remembered — last night I masturbated with my sister’s self tanner.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: trying to get the mental image out of my head

Posted on January 11, 2015
Colors, Fag Hags, Penis, Queer guys, Washington Square Park

He’s Gay on His Mother’s Side

High school girl #1: So he is definitely going to turn out gay.
High school girl #2: Come on. He is not going to be gay. You just think that because he is a nice, well-dressed boy.
High school girl #1: Um, exactly.
High school girl #2: Well, he is Asian! All the guys in Asia wear makeup!
High school girl #1: Stop talking. He’s only half-Asian. And gay.

–Broadway

Posted on January 11, 2015
Queer guys, Students, Teens

Queer guys