Exhausted woman with backpack: Why do I have to be so fat?
–42nd St
Gossip Girl clone to another: Oh my god! Can you even imagine being obese in this weather?
–Lafayette & Spring
Skinny gangster white boy: Yo, dude, are we hanging out with those fat chicks?
–96th St & Lexington
Overheard by: great standards
Chubby girl yelling on cell: Yeah, and her bridesmaid dress totally accentuates my back fat–as if I didn't have enough problems!
–47th & 3rd
Loud girl on cell: And he was like "we had sex three times, so I owe you an hour of going down on you." And I was like "okay."
–Mount Sinai School of Medicine
Overheard by: Horrified Med Student
Bro to another: Dude, she's practically paying for your train ride to have sex with you.
–W Train
College guys to another: Dude, have you fingered her yet?
–5th Ave
Attractive girl smoking and talking on the phone: Wait! Are you saying you want me to go to your hotel room… right now?
–15th St & Union Square West
Overheard by: Stephanie
Tween boy, interrupting conversation with German girl: Wait! Do you live near the autobahn?
German girl: What?
Tween boy: The autobahn. It's like the parkway!
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Father: Look at that! They list the number of calories that the food has. Ha! Who needs to know that, anyway?
Daughter, ten seconds later: Some people!
–Citifield Stadium
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
Girl: It's the one thing my father taught me: always be faster than your slowest friend.
Guy: Was your father a gazelle?
–12th St & Broadway
Old British man: I would take New York over any city.
American woman: Even England?
–87th & 2nd
Construction man to Indian restaurant server: Can I get a chicken lo mein?
Server: Uh… That's Chinese food, this is an Indian food restaurant. The Chinese take-out is next door, but it's closed.
Construction man to walkie talkie: Hey, Charlie, this is a Thai place and they don't have chicken lo mein. Want something else instead?
–Indian Restaurant, Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: HungryMan
Construction worker #1: Hey, where's the buzz saw?
Construction worker #2: He sold it! To the vegetable seller!
Construction worker #1: For real?
–Flushing
Ebullient cashier: Good morning, sir!
Yuppie, trying to control his two rambunctious children: What's so fucking good about it?
–Union Market, Park Slope
Overheard by: Thinking the same thing
