Girl #1: Did you hear about Stacey?
Girl #2: What about her?
Girl #1: She got pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh really? What kind is it?
–NYU
Girl #1: Did you hear about Stacey?
Girl #2: What about her?
Girl #1: She got pregnant.
Girl #2: Oh really? What kind is it?
–NYU
Man in car at stoplight on cell: Yeah, so I grabbed a towel for my nuts and ran down the stairs. Yes, I covered my nuts. So I run down the stairs covering my nuts with a towel because I knew where the smoke was coming from!
–127th & Lenox
Street tough to guy in wheelchair: So you kicked him in the nuts? (shrugs) Yeah, word.
–E 2nd St & Ave C
Overheard by: Ben Couch
Crazy man: Where's Howie? Where's my favorite nut-nut?
–Hanson Place
Overheard by: JBeck
Dude on cell while riding bicycle: It's hanging off your nuts?
–Williamsburg
Mom 20-something daughter heading to Penn Station: Should we grab our nuts, at least?
–7th Ave & 34th St
Overheard by: Just don't grab my nuts
Man on BlackBerry: Yeah, it's about a freaking partnership. And there's no "I" in partnership.
–Washington Square Park
Subway announcer: There is a downtown b train approaching 96th Street. That is "b" as in "delta."
–86th St Subway Station
Manager, looking at display that has been knocked over: This place is trashed. T-r-s-h-a-e-d! Trashed! (awkward silence from employees) What? What did I say?
–Bed Bath & Beyond
Overheard by: Melissa
Theater tech guy on phone: So you're saying every time Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter "b," you cried? If that's the case, I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry I offended you with a letter.
–50th & 9th
Tourist: Hey, what are you looking for down there?
MTA worker, walking with flashlight on the tracks: Rats!
Tourist: Really?
MTA worker: Nah, just track defects… and gold.
–6 Train
Professor: And why did Moses lead the Jews out of Egypt?
Student: Because he was stoned.
–NYU
Guy: What if I shave?
British chick: Then we're going to have a problem!
–New York Film Academy, Union Square
Boy #1: What should we do tonight?
Boy #2: We should get a keg of root beer, and a keg of beer.
Boy #1: Or just a keg of beer.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Amused Passerby
Drunk girl #1, shouting into bathroom: What you still doing in here?
Drunk girl #2: I'm shittin!
Drunk girl #1: Ew! What you doin that for? I wait til I get home and shit in my own bathroom.
Drunk girl #2: Girl, fuck that! If I gotta shit, I'ma shit!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: missed my train
Girl on phone: I gotta go to another guy because the last guy was like, "have you been sleeping with any Asian investment bankers?" and I was like, "no," and he's like, "well, then you don't have syphilis." And I'm like, "you're not a very good doctor!"
–Greenpoint
Girl on train: You should really meet this guy. He's like half witchdoctor and half… I don't know… Physical therapist.
–LIRR
Overheard by: The WC
Bag lady, yelling: What is my vital sign, asshole? Systolic… Diastolic… The fuck does that mean, Mr. Doctorman?
–6 Train
Overheard by: pretending not to have been pre-med in college
Suit on cell: What do you mean I'm being ridiculous? He's a foot doctor… He's not licensed to give rectal exams, Floyd!
–Q Train
Overheard by: EKavet
Girl to boyfriend, after taking deep breath: Can you smell that? It's like the ghost of meats past!
–10th Ave, Meatpacking District
Suit: Turkey-bacon? How did you guys get them in one meat?
–Grand Central Place
Young lady to another: And then we were all treated to sausages…
–E. Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Luke McPartlin
Five-year-old boy to bewildered mother: We're gonna go work for a giant meatball!
–86th St & Lexington
Distraught-looking white woman to boyfriend: I just wish I'd gotten the more expensive steak. (boyfriend nods sympathetically)
–Upper East Side
