Stranger #1: Now we're movin'! Now we be cookin' with grease!
Stranger #2: What kind? Saturated or unsaturated?
Stranger #1: The kind where you just drop somebody in and fry their ass.
Stranger #2: Oh, I'm not into cannibalism.
–Line, Credit Union, 9th & 31st
Overheard by: bored in a bank
Sober Londoner: Did you just have a civilized conversation?
Very drunk Londoner: No, I was talking to some Australian girl.
–Eight Mile Creek
Overheard by: Adam Scholem
American Businessman: What are you doing in Mexico?
British Businessman: Drinking. Continuously.
–Office, Midtown
Girl #1: Why is this train going so slow?
Girl #2: …There’s probably traffic.
–7 train
Overheard by: Erica
Well-dressed British lady: Driver, what's the next stop?
Bus driver: I'm not letting you off until you pay your fare. Don't ask me again.
–M31 Bus
Overheard by: Nora
Grade school girl #1: Why are you so upset?
Grade school girl #2: People at school think I like three boys! Do you know what that does to my reputation?!
–Outside the elementary school, 76th St
Chick to guy on cell: Excuse me — this is a random question, but are you a piano tuner?
Guy on cell, pausing to stare at chick: That is the most random question someone has ever asked me in my entire life. [Walks away.]
–Clinton & Joralemon, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: WTF?
Little girl: Daddy, why aren't we moving?
Father: It's okay. See, we're moving now. Veeeery slowly.
Little girl: Why?
Father: Because you're riding the MTA.
–F Train
Overheard by: Katharine
[A couple are looking in the mirror.]Man: Why don’t you ever say anything when my glasses are all wonky?
Woman: Say anything?
Man: Yeah, like you wonky cunt.
–Bloomingdale’s, 3rd Ave
30-something on cell: Mom, he came over and took a picture of my toilet!
–Spring & Greene
20-something chick: First of all, who poses bare-ass naked on a car in a Wal-Mart parking lot? Secondly, who bleaches their asshole? Third, who takes a picture of it and e-mails it to all their friends?!
–113th, between Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Queer: He photographs really poorly. That’s a big problem for me…
–Starbucks, Washington Square
Overheard by: jess
Woman to friend: You know, just because I work with her doesn’t mean I have to look at photos of her placenta.
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: X. L. Percy
