Comedy ticket guy: Hey, do you like to laugh?
Goth chick: No. Do I look like I like to laugh?
Comedy ticket guy: My bad.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Laura M.
Comedy ticket guy: Hey, do you like to laugh?
Goth chick: No. Do I look like I like to laugh?
Comedy ticket guy: My bad.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Laura M.
Forklift operator #1: How’s it going, James?
Forklift operator #2: These boxes of matzah just ain’t cooperatin’.
–NYC Food Bank
Overheard by: Shane Hoffman
Weird girl: Did you bring the scepter?
Weird boy: No, I forgot.
Weird girl: That’s the second time!
Weird boy: I know, I’m sorry! I got the Tetris theme song stuck in my head again!
–D train
Overheard by: Kaela
Boyfriend, looking at girlfriend's iPhone: Who is this guy Nick that you're talking to?
Ditzy girlfriend: Whatever…you don't have to worry about him. He's from New Jersey, so I would never touch him.
Boyfriend: What's that have to do with anything?
Ditzy girlfriend: Hello! Everyone knows that everyone in New Jersey has STDs!
–7 Train
Headline by: kate
Runners-Up:
· “Experience=Wisdom” – Fresca
· “I Only Cheat on You Within the Five Boroughs” – The Cleveland Kid
· “It’s Why They Have 50 Different Words for Painful Urination” – Brother Elmer
· “Nick: I Told Her That’s Not What “Suburbia” Is…” – Porter
· “Why Lincoln & Holland Toll Takers Wear Gloves” – Leary Blaine
Girl #1: You want a hot dog?
Girl #2: Sure. What kinds do they have?
Girl #1, looking confused: What do you mean?
Girl #2: I want one with ketchup.
–Nathan's Restaurant
Overheard by: Eva
Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!
–Broadway & Prince
Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?
–Fordham Plaza
Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him?
–St. Luke's Church, Whitestone
Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.
–E Train
Overheard by: Giggling at crack
Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alfie
Chick #1: Did I ever tell you about my friend's mom who had a baby in the toilet?
(awkward pause)
Chick #2: Now you're gonna tell it?
–Pomme Frite Restaurant
Student: How was your break?
Math teacher: Screw you!
–Hunter College High School
Overheard by: citysnidget
Woman: Hola! Una wheatgrass con ginger… Por favor!
Latina girl behind counter: Excuse me? You wanted what, exactly?
Woman: Ummm… A wheatgrass shot with ginger?
Girl: You do realize we don’t have that, don’t you?
–Juicy Lucy’s, Avenue A
Overheard by: JKS
Graduate student #1: Should I remove the dead girl from my Facebook friends? It's kind of sad when she comes up.
Graduate student #2: No.
Graduate student #1: Why not?
Graduate student #2: Wouldn't it be even sadder if she was dead and had no Facebook friends?
–114th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Daniel
