Wednesday One-Liners Can't Do Much About the Adam's Apple

Brooklyn grandmother to another: My grandson is so different now that he's become a woman.

–4 Train

Middle aged man in binoculars on cell: Yeah! And just like that she threw me out! She kicked me out on my ass! She walked in and I was in her bra… and that was it!

–87th & Columbus Ave

Overheard by: GoneWithThe

Small black guy: Of course I'm a transvestite! Why else do you think it took you three guys to beat me up?

–W 36th St

Overheard by: Ellen

Twink to others: Sometimes you think a little boy is a child and then he turns out to be a much older woman.

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Urch

Attractive blonde: And then the… transvestite beauty queen thing happened. You know?

–Middagh & Henry

Overheard by: Matty

Posted on December 18, 2014
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Beauty, Black People, Breaking Up, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Family Ties, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Kids, Men, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Sexuality, Trannies, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Weirdness

Is It Really an Accomplishment to Score Pussy If You’re Gay?

Hipster: I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your new look. It’s rather… um… guido.
Guido: Yeah, I know. But the pussy, dude — the pussy, you wouldn’t believe.
Hipster: It better be good, because your eyebrows are waxed. And you’re a man.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: guido hater

Posted on December 13, 2014
Advice, Compare/Contrast, Default, Fashion, Friends, Guidos, Hipsters, Physical appearance, Sex & Relationships, Sexuality, Washington Square Park, Waxing

Why I Stopped Going to Corporate Cocktail Parties: Explained.

Suit, after Yankees game: If Manny Ramirez took fertility drugs, wouldn't he be nanny Ramirez by now?
Female suit: God, you're good.

–Yankee Stadium

Posted on December 12, 2014
Gender issues, Health and Hygiene, Sexuality, Suits, Yankee Stadium

So Was ‘Dyke Cunt’, but Who’s Counting?

Chick #1: You were way too hard on my dad back there.
Chick #2: I know, I’m sorry… I just get so heated.
Chick #1: Still, “homophobic asshole” is a little harsh, don’t you think?

–Park Row

Posted on December 4, 2014
Default, Etiquette, Family Ties, Girls, Insults, Sexuality, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wednesday One-Liners, Dry-Clean Only

Suit on cell: And three girls we know will be there. They're all hideous. But at least they're girls.

–28th & 5th

Overheard by: Heinz

Man in suit: The building is surrounded by outside. Right before you go in and when you come out, you are outside!

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: The Green Cat

Suit whining on cell: Aw, come on! I wanna be on top this time!

–Flushing

Overheard by: Zee

Suit: The only time I wore socks last year was during my swearing in.

–Maiden & William

Suit: You know, we should probably just send a company-wide email in the morning: "hey guys, we're fucked."

–Wall St

Overheard by: Tamcakes

Posted on December 2, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crime and Punishment, Fashion, Gender issues, Internet, Jobs & Careers, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queens, Science, Sex, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Suits, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-liners Up the Wazoo

Queer: It was, like, 8:30 in the morning and my colon called and said it needed a filling.

–Christopher Street Pier

Overheard by: Fourth Axiom

Posted on December 2, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Backdoor, Body Parts, One-liners, Players, Promiscuity, Queer guys, Sexuality, West Village

It’s a New World. Get Used to It.

Guy to two chicks holding hands: Hey, are you, like, lesbians or something?
Chick #1: No.
Guy, after disembarking and then seeing them kiss: So they were lesbians! Right? Right?!

–N train

Overheard by: mcr lover

Posted on November 30, 2014
Idiots, On the Subway, Sexuality

NYC Rule #2: When Cornered, Employ Irrational Insults

Female umbrella buyer: Why you callin' me “ma'am”?
Male umbrella seller: “Ma'am” means “a female.” You're a female, right?
Female umbrella buyer: You're a female too!

–Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: Morgan