Dude: Do you mean the guy you threw up on?
Chick: Yeah, but not the frat boy, the other one.
–Silver building, NYU
Dude: Do you mean the guy you threw up on?
Chick: Yeah, but not the frat boy, the other one.
–Silver building, NYU
20-something man on cell: I just bought another Transformers t-shirt. That means I am one Transformers t-shirt away from being able to only wear Transformers t-shirts.
–9th Ave & 45th St
Overheard by: Serena
Male art teacher: What's wrong with chiffon? If I were home right now, I would be wearing chiffon.
–Hunter College High School
Bar owner to college kid wearing suit: Look atchu all dressed up. What, are you goin' on a game show or somethin?
–Citi Bar
Overheard by: Lulu
20-something girl on cell: You should've known when you liked his clothes that he was going to be overly emotional. No one who dresses that good can hold it all together.
–Locker Room, Crunch Gym
Guy to group of friends: Yeah, so I said to him, "Mike, it's a problem when you wearin' the same clothes as your daughter.'"
–5th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Sue
Professor: We will talk about the JDC–the American Jewish Joint Distribution Committee. And no, they were not dispensing marijuana.
–Queens College
Overheard by: ShaniP
Trashy JAP on cell: So I told her I was selling, and that bitch was like, "Katrina, for how much?" And I was like "Oh my god, mom, it doesn't matter how much the weed is going for, all that matters is the quality!"
–7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: penelope
Random stranger to teens: You want to buy some weed? Just come back to my mom's house!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rhian
College student on cell: Mom, you've got to stop smoking so much weed. I mean, fuck!
–Time Square
Random dude on street: I got it all! Liquor, alcohol, marijuana, Chips Ahoy! I got it!
–44th & Broadway
Overheard by: Lagster
Street vendor: Prada bags, Louis Vuitton bags, Gucci bags, marijuana bags… (everyone looks over at him) Hey, I gotta make money somehow.
–Times Square
Overheard by: mary jane
Freshman boy #1: … ‘Cause when girls be getting freaky they get all… creative and shit.
Freshman boy #2: Yeah!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Adrienne G.
NYU boy: The doctor at NYU was so chill about it — he treated me the first time three years ago. He’s the one who told me how you have to spit or swallow, but don’t let the cum fester in your mouth. And that one shouldn’t brush their teeth an hour before or after oral, ’cause it opens up the gums and stuff.
NYU girl: [Blank stare.]NYU boy: Gay sex is, like, his specialty.
NYU girl, after long pause: I don’t think we should be friends anymore.
–W 4th St
Overheard by: wish I had a specialty
College student with Boston accent: Yeah, I was reading this article in like Newsweek or something, that ranked the states from smartest to dumbest. Massachusetts was in the top ten.
College student with Miami accent: What about Florida?
College student with Boston accent: Florida was like, 47.
College student with Miami accent: Out of how many?
–NYU
Overheard by: Still Laughing
Football player on razor scooter, chasing shirtless theater major: I'll get you my pretty… And your little dick too!
–Wagner College
Girl, looking at long ladies bathroom queue: At times like these, I wish women had dicks.
–Winter Garden Theatre
Slightly drunk man: I feel like someone just shut a door on my dick.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Sunny
Hooker to pimp: I had to suck his dick in front of everyone!
–Outside Penn Station
Overheard by: David
Little girl, running along platform: Mommy! Mommy! Slow down! Mommy, it smells like penis in here!
–Grand Central
Girl to another: Do you have a hand wipe? I totally smell like rape right now.
–44th St & Broadway
Guy to friend: She said I smelled like shit and I said, "what like, asshole?"
–59th St & Lexington
Girl on phone: Your hands smell like what? Your hands smell like urine? Why would you say that?
–Brooklyn College
Hobo on overcrowded train: Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Homeless Ed, and I am homeless, and I smell like shit. If any of you can spare some change so I can buy some deodorant, it would be greatly appreciated.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: christopher james
Female grad student on cell: Have you ever done the inter-borough walk of shame smelling like penis?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Conductor: This is East Broadway station, and something smells yummy.
–F Train
White NYU law student #1: Yeah, so I'm taking a bunch of constitutional classes. I'm gonna focus on constitutional law.
White NYU law student #2: Yeah, I took this amazing course on the 14th Amendment…
White NYU law student #1: Which one was that again?
–Christopher St
Overheard by: White, but knew that
(a pigeon flies up to a rambling bike messenger)
Bike messenger: Hey, bird. Whadda ya say? How you doing? You play baseball? What position? First base? Third? Catcher?
–47th & Madison
Ditzy teen on cell: Why can't they, like, have two footballs instead so both teams could score?
–Doctor's Office, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman
Professor: Did I tell you guys I'm getting into professional wrestling?
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Didn't want the details
Guy to another, screaming at the top of his lungs: It's fucking field hockey! It's a girl's sport! Why are you even on the team?! You make me sick!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Scott Jurkowski
Train conductor, announcing stop: Willets point, Shea Stadium…home of that *other* team.
–Willets Point, Queens
Overheard by: Random Asian Chick
