Cop doing random bag checks to young woman rushing through station: Excuse me, ma'm…
Young woman: (glances at cop)
Cop, backing up: Oh, you're in a hurry. (turns around, woman keeps running, bag unchecked)
–F Train
Cop doing random bag checks to young woman rushing through station: Excuse me, ma'm…
Young woman: (glances at cop)
Cop, backing up: Oh, you're in a hurry. (turns around, woman keeps running, bag unchecked)
–F Train
Cashier to black man coming in with brochures and clipboard: Sir, we don't allow soliciting in here.
Black solicitor: I ain't Sicilian!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Holly
Girl #1: Did that cab smell like something to you?
Girl #2: Yeah, it smelled like burgers.
Girl #1: I was going to say smelled like the refugees.
Girl #2: What the fuck?
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: penny
Asian chick: Really!? Seriously!? That's so rude! I've never had anything like that happen to me before!
Blonde friend: Yeah, I know! What an asshole!
Asian chick: Wait, are you sure? He just fingered you with all those people in the restaurant watching?
(friends laugh)
Asian chick: Wait…what? I don't get it. That's what people say, right? He fingered you. He put his middle finger up.
Brunette friend, still laughing: No, no! He gave her the finger. He did not finger her.
Asian chick: Oh! Wow! I'm so glad I made that mistake now. I would have told everyone that she got fingered tonight.
–8th Ave, Chelsea
Overheard by: Wondering how anyone makes that mistake…
Boss: Wait, can I ask a city girl question? Do butterflies come from caterpillars??
–Office, 8th Ave
Overheard by: kpan
Tall blond tourist looking at Egyptian artifacts: So, are these, like, all real artifacts, or like, what? Know what I mean?
–The Metropolitan Museum
Girl to station agent: Can I go the other direction from here?
–W 103rd St
Overheard by: Emily B.
Blonde bimbo: Skydiving…is that the one done on water?
–Jerome Avenue Line
Woman, looking around crowded waiting area: I wonder how many people here are waiting for a train?
–Waiting Area, Penn Station
Overheard by: Not from New Jersey
Woman in elevator, after bumping into Al Roker: Wasn't that Tom Brokaw?
–Fisk Building
Lady shouting into cell: Stop screaming in my ear! Stop screaming in my ear! Stop screaming in my ear!
–Flatbush Ave, Prospect Heights
Overheard by: Ja9
Deli cashier with heavy accent to West Indian man with heavy accent: I don't speak Jamaican! I speak English!
–Crown Heights
Overheard by: Holly
Man on crowd: Stop shoving! There are fucking kids here, watch out, asshole!
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Alexis
Man walking with small kid on cell: Ain't no one cursing at yo! Fuck, why you got to be like that?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Heather
Woman on cell: I just hate for people to hear my conversations in public.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: Nicole
Guy: But that way everyone feels a little more suicidal, and that makes it much more interesting.
–Broadway & 9th
85-year-old woman with leathery skin, in neon pink jumpsuit and sunglasses, with cigarette in one hand and cane in the other: I wish that cunt would just fucking kill herself!
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: kyle
Woman to son, as they look at street vendors' wares: Oh, and do you have the number for the suicide hotline?
–Prince & Mulberry
Upper West Side suit to friend: And I was like, "but I've worn that four times, I can't wear that again. I'd just have to kill myself!"
–Broadway & 104th St
Overheard by: Cat
Man, to the tune of "Lean on Me": Sometimes in our lives/we want to jump right out the window…
–DUMBO, Brooklyn
Overheard by: amused
Toddler: Mommy, you make me suicidal!
–Roosevelt Island Bus
Suit on cell: I mean, imagine our mothers in Playboy…
–Borders, Penn Station
Overheard by: I'd Rather Not
50-something suit to others: Ya, we sold ten bags of herb and made $100.
–Wall St & William St
Overheard by: Mike D
Suit on cell: Hey, mom! Ma! 7 cents! You owe me 7 cents!
–5th Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Katie
30-something suit to hot female: I can't reassure you about your body while we're in bed, because that would imply that there's something going on between us.
–W Broadway & Houston
Man in suit: Every day I try to do something out of my comfort zone, like hanging out with you.
–Broadway & Murray St
Older woman to bored-looking male dinner companion, as they are seated at a table: Now we have to think of something to talk about.
–The Place, West Village
Overheard by: Colleen
Female grad student: I was trippy enough to talk to Shrek, but not trippy enough for him to answer.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Poogins
Hobo with huge afro chasing after two chatting women: Are you talking when the champion is speaking?! How dare you?
–2nd Ave & 9th St
Teacher to class entering auditorium: Children, stop talking! This is a building!
–College of Mount Saint Vincent
Man on cell: Ray Romano, you're talking to a millionaire!
–Chelsea
Overheard by: Katie
Girl on phone: It's just like, he seriously has a really squishy face that you can stick your finger in, and it goes like a million miles in, and you're just like "what the fuck!" But yeah, nothing happened, we just talked.
–Palladium Residence Hall, NYU
High school girl: She banged some dude with no condom during her period, then she blew another guy after the basketball game.
–Panera, Queens
Overheard by: NBG1
Teen: My health teacher always yells at me for being late. Shouldn't she be, like, sustaining my self-esteem?
–Green Apple Cafe
Overheard by: Julie
Hippie teenager leaving bathroom: When I see you all later, I will not have any idea who the hell you are!
–Nokia Theater, Times Square
Overheard by: dan
Teenage girl to cute guy, after spitting on door window: I have a bad habit of spittin'.
–E Train
Overheard by: MrsBall
Teenager to crying little brother: Shut up! Stop it or I'll take away your ShamWow!
–Times Square
Overheard by: JYC
Teenage boy on cell: I won't cock-block! (pause) I won't cock-block!
–E 77th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Steve G
