Guy waiting on passport line: I'd like an expedited passport.
Postal worker: Oooh! Going anywhere fun?
Guy: Florida.
–Post Office, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: BLSwhatwhat
Guy waiting on passport line: I'd like an expedited passport.
Postal worker: Oooh! Going anywhere fun?
Guy: Florida.
–Post Office, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: BLSwhatwhat
Woman: I always thought the Purple Pieman was Satan. Isn’t that one of his many names?
–K-mart, West 34th Street
Overheard by: CC
Southern woman on cell: I could not feel worse than I do right now…You will…Oh my god, they are gonna have to land that airplane so you can vomit.
–66th between CPW and Columbus
Overheard by: Charlie
Dirtbag: Man, I have to get over to Europe. I gotta sell a fucking kidney.
–St. Mark’s Place
Man on cell: Yeah baby, yeah, I’m still in London. Yeah, I’ll be back on Wednesday, baby.
–West 4th & Jane
Conductor: You’re now entering the country of Brooklyn. Please have your passports ready…
–F train
Overheard by: Paul Eng
Girlfriend: So, you want to make out?
Boyfriend: Both of us?
Girlfriend: Uh… yeah, generally that's how it works.
–A Train
Woman rushing out of train: Does this train stop at the next stop?
Guy: No.
–downtown C train, 59th St
Shirtless hobo #1: I lived in California before New York… the weather sucks most of the time there.
Shirtless hobo #2: Yeah, dude, I've heard that.
–Washington Square Park
Customer: I could use that cane. I pulled my hamstring last night.
Bartender: Doing what, changing diapers?
Customer: No, having sex with myself.
–Bar, 78th & 1st
Skinny girl: I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Sobbing girl: I just…I just hope he's going to… be okay.
Skinny girl: Do you think that maybe you want to go and compose yourself in the office?
Sobbing girl: I was just… there. And I would… but the candy… sucks.
Skinny girl: I'll… I'll give you my last Mentos.
Sobbing girl: The Freshmaker?
–The Met
Girl: So where's he from? He's from California, right?
Guy: No, he's from England.
Girl: Oh, Montreal!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Christopher Columbus
Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what?
Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against!
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
