Guy #1: That’s far. That shit is deep.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: 14th.
Guy #2: You think that’s deep? Shit.
–St Mark’s, between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Jon Door
Guy #1: That’s far. That shit is deep.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: 14th.
Guy #2: You think that’s deep? Shit.
–St Mark’s, between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: Jon Door
Lady: Excuse me, do you sell phone cards to Africa?
Cashier: Let me check. (looks around)
Guy at the beer cooler: Man, they ain't got no phones in Africa!
–Convienance Store, 45th & 8th
Overheard by: Joe
Boyfriend, looking at girlfriend's iPhone: Who is this guy Nick that you're talking to?
Ditzy girlfriend: Whatever…you don't have to worry about him. He's from New Jersey, so I would never touch him.
Boyfriend: What's that have to do with anything?
Ditzy girlfriend: Hello! Everyone knows that everyone in New Jersey has STDs!
–7 Train
Headline by: kate
Runners-Up:
· “Experience=Wisdom” – Fresca
· “I Only Cheat on You Within the Five Boroughs” – The Cleveland Kid
· “It’s Why They Have 50 Different Words for Painful Urination” – Brother Elmer
· “Nick: I Told Her That’s Not What “Suburbia” Is…” – Porter
· “Why Lincoln & Holland Toll Takers Wear Gloves” – Leary Blaine
Girl #1: You want a hot dog?
Girl #2: Sure. What kinds do they have?
Girl #1, looking confused: What do you mean?
Girl #2: I want one with ketchup.
–Nathan's Restaurant
Overheard by: Eva
Physician #1: Hey, if you want, there’s gonna be a meeting on the night of the 16th.
Physician #2: I can’t. I’ll be in the Holy Land that week.
Physician #1: You’re gonna be in the Bronx?
–North Shore Hospital
Overheard by: Nik G
Girl: Well, I don’t know…She doesn’t look very much like a butterfly.
Guy: What, would you rather have her wear a t-shirt with a giant butterfly on it?
–Lincoln Center
Girl #1: This neighborhood has changed so much.
Girl #2: I know, I feel like we live in the ghetto now. There were actually children outside this morning. And they were yelling!
–N. 7th, Williamsburg
Middle-aged woman: I really never cared for skiing, but I was so alone in my marriage, I found it was a great way to meet men.
–Burritoville, 77th & 2nd
Meathead #1, to meathead #2: Hey! Want to go to a ballroom club?
–47th & Madison
Guy, to passersby: Game of chess? Play chess? Chess?…Also got chronic.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Phil
Middle aged woman #1: I saw that woman of The Cosby Show near Wall Street yesterday.
Middle aged woman #2: Wow, you did not! Which one?
Middle aged woman #1: Whoopi Goldberg–the one that was married to Bill Cosby in the show!
Middle aged woman #2: Oh yeah, I remember her. I think she changed her name to Whoopi Cosby now.
–A Train
Overheard by: Dora Olafsson
Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, 59th Street is next, 59th Street. Everyone have a pleasant day. And a friendly reminder: only 10 shopping days left until Christmas! Be festive, but don’t spend your money all at once! Ho, ho, ho! Always remember the three gift-giving rules of Christmas. They’re as easy as A, B, C. A: Make a list of everyone you want to buy a gift for. B: Ask them what they want for Christmas. C: Tell them, ‘Give me the money and I’ll buy it for you!’ 59th Street.
–A train
Overheard by: d, cover your groin
Woman selling adult books entitled Extra-Marital Affair: Get your books here! Make great Christmas presents for your loved ones!
–Penn Station, 34th St entrance
Overheard by: Bewildered
Chick dog-walker on cell: I am not doing A Christmas Carol at the Mississippi Shakespeare Festival!
–Payson Ave & Beak St
Conductor: Listen up, people! I can’t stress this enough: you only have two hands. If a third one is in your pocket, make some noise! I’m sure other passengers will help you out. You don’t want anyone having a merry Christmas on your hard work. [Long pause, then singing] Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way! [Another pause] There are only six shopping days left. Ho, ho, ho!
–A train
Overheard by: he brightened my day
Tourist watching erection of Rockefeller Christmas tree: What’s the big tree for?
–Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: B.W. McAdams
