Drunk Suit #1: You do realize that we’re going to jail for this, right?
Drunk Suit #2: Yeah, I know.
Drunk Suit #1: I mean, Powers is dead!
–Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Drunk Suit #1: You do realize that we’re going to jail for this, right?
Drunk Suit #2: Yeah, I know.
Drunk Suit #1: I mean, Powers is dead!
–Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
50-something suit: In many ways I enjoyed his funeral reception more than his wedding reception.
–PATH
Overheard by: Joe H.
Girl on cell: He died. They found his body. I don't know, somewhere in the Bronx. He was strangled or some shit. Yeah, he died from it. Oh shit, that's why I forgot to send you the invitation for the whatchacallit, the funeral.
–Rivington & Attorney
Overheard by: I wasn't invited either
Gay guy to friend: So I told John I would go to his funeral just to spit in his face!
–West Bank Cafe
60-something woman to another: So I'm glad I didn't go to his fucking bitch sister's funeral. But now he's mad.
–Central Park
20-something guy on cell: Just 'cause I did meth with his daughter doesn't mean I'm going to go to his funeral!
–7th Ave Subway Entrance
Suit on cell: If he doesn’t get me the fucking money, I’ll kill that bitch!
Hobo: How about you give me some money, and I’ll kill that bitch?
–St. Mark’s
Large bald man on Bluetooth: He got a fuckin' boo boo, that's all!
–Gramercy
Suit on cell: So, I haven't been electrocuted…yet.
–L Train
Elderly woman: I regret that she broke her arm. I do not regret pushing her down the stairs.
–E Train
Overheard by: Pat
Little boy: I hope the boo-boo goes away soon! My staple won't hold that long!
–23rd & Park Ave
Overheard by: Say what?
Guy on train to friend: Hey, would you still date a girl if she was in an industrial accident and had to wear a Darth Vader suit forever?
–6 Train
Suit #1: So I don't get it: if he got her a card, why is she mad.
Suit #2: (muffled reply)
Suit #1: He did what?
Suit #2: She was getting ready to go out and he lodged the card in the crack of her ass…
–Pen Station
Teen #1: Where is Flushing-Main Street?
Teen #2: In the Bronx.
Teen #1: What's the Bronx?
Teen #2: It's one of the five boroughs. You know: Manhattan, the Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island…and some other one.
Suit: Oh god, I'm out of here.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Ashamed to be from the
Suit: Goddamn piece of fucking shit.
Old lady: Geez.
Suit: What’s your fucking problem?
Old lady: The dumbing down of our language; everyone is so crude. Suit: Where are you from, the Little House on the Prairie?
Old lady: I’m from New York, you fucking asshole.
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: Anne Turner
Tourist lady: Wow, it’s like a sea of people!
B&T guy: Welcome to the city that never sleeps!
NY woman: Fuck all of you.
–Times Square station
Overheard by: Emily A
Suit #1: Do you have an iPhone?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: Do you have a BlackBerry then?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: What? You don’t have an iPhone and you don’t have a BlackBerry?!
Suit #2: No, guess not.
Suit #1: You must have a long dick.
–115th St & Broadway
Suit #1: You wanna hear one with great lyrics, that’s “Fascinating Rhythm”.
Suit #2: Yeah?
Suit #1: Yeah. “Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah”
Suit #2: Yeah, those guys were poets.
–Midtown office
Drunk guy walking into a stop sign, enthusiastically: I'm still drunk!
Suit: Solid.
–Midtown
Overheard by: El conquistador
