Queer: You know who I feel really bad for? Really ugly people.
–Mug’z Sports Bar, Belmont
Queer: You know who I feel really bad for? Really ugly people.
–Mug’z Sports Bar, Belmont
Teen girl: Now what she needs is a razor dildo.
–93rd & Broadway
Overheard by: Alissa R.
Suit on cell: Hey, yeah…Yeah, I just got back from 100 Centre Street. Yeah, Georgie Boy was drooling over counselor’s dick…You know, Georgie Boy: Boy George…That’s right, on his knees drooling over counselor’s dick. Moron lives on Mulberry, right around the corner from 100 Centre Street. They found like six bags of blow, says lots of people stay there, not his, whatever. But he’s shitting in his diaper…What?…Yeah, just six bags, whatever. But he’s drooling over counselor’s dick. I told him, “Don’t worry Georgie Boy”–we only call him “Georgie Boy”–I told him, “Don’t worry, you have a Jewish lawyer.” Do you really want to blow me?…Huh? What?…No!
–Russian & Turkish Baths, East 10th Street
Overheard by: Trey Desolay
Old lady: Where’s the yellow incense for the dead people?
–Titan Foods, LIC
Overheard by: Evan C. Kirchmer
Yale guy on cell: Oh, you’ll like this. So, I hooked up with this girl this weekend, and got a handjob from her…But, the thing is, she had one hand…No, she had an arm, just no hand. And she gave me a handjob. With the other one…I started laughing when she started giving me a handjob, because, well…Yeah. The irony of the whole thing…Yeah, but she was real hot…Huge boobs…I think I’m gonna try and hook up with her again and see if she’ll rub my balls…Yeah, man, with the other one…The other…Yeah.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: rDave
Teen girl: …You know they didn’t have guns back then…But if they did, Jesus would have shot them niggas.
–Williamsburg
Teen girl: So they’re like the von Trapps.
Chick: If the von Trapps wore Homestar t-shirts and were Tunisian, then sure.
Teen girl: And hot.
Chick: Yeah, the von Trapps did nothing for me in The Sound of
Music. My mom’s dog died the day that movie came out. I guess maybe subconsciously that has something to do with their not-hotness.
Teen girl: What about the Nazi thing?
Chick: The von Trapps weren’t Nazis, were they?
–JFK
Teen boy #1: Don’t worry, I’ve been taking the 7 train since I was 5.
Teen boy #2: How old are you now?
Teen boy #1: 17.
Teen boy #2: So you’ve been taking the 7 train from…8 years ago?
Teen boy #1: Naw, man. 8 yrs ago I was 10.
–7 train
Overheard by: Jenn Hue
Teen boy: Didn’t you know those iPod headphones are bad for you?
Teen girl: No, they’re not.
Teen boy: Uh huh. Look in your manual. It says to throw them away as soon as you buy them.
–F train
Overheard by: sarah kauffman
HS girl #1: I saw on TV last night they were saying how you can bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Uh, how dead?
HS girl #1: Like Hitler…
HS girl #3: That’s crazy. I read the Bible. You can not bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Fool, they brought Jesus back from the dead.
–Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx
