Wednesday One-Liners Breathe through Their Noses

Black girl on bluetooth headset: You want everyone to suck yo dick, dontcha? Dontcha?! You want everyone to suck yo dick!

–W. 59th & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Alexandra

Twelve-year-old guido, near tears, doubled over in the street screaming on his cell phone: You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job! You sucked Charlie’s dick last night, you blow job!

–Brooklyn

20 something blonde on cell: … Is that normal? [Pause.] No, it’s different every time, like it almost disappears… Then another time its all swinging and shit… Is that normal? [Listens.]Oh no! Thats just fine, like it gags me when … [Mumbles.]

–LIRR

Manager to employee: You are a cock guzzling thundercunt!

–Chelsea

Gay guy, to his friend: I mean…I may suck dick but at least I don’t take it up the ass.

–16th & 9th

Woman: Short of blowing him in MoMa, I really don’t know how to get his attention.

–A Train

Overheard by: Why MoMa?

Posted on August 26, 2021
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Black People, Brooklyn College, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guidos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Teens, Trains Not Subway, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women, Words

Does Checking Make You More or Less of a Loser?

High school-age Jersey girl: So I went on my ex-boyfriend's Facebook, since his birthday was last week. Only like 30 people wrote on his wall to wish him happy birthday.
Friend: Oh my god. What a loser!

–NJ Transit Terminal, Penn Station

Overheard by: Ashley

Posted on August 15, 2021
Default, Facebook, Friends, Girls, Penn Station, Relationships, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens

Either That or a Dance Step

Teenage girl #1: What did he say?
Teenage girl #2: He just texted me back “touché”. Everyone always says that, what does that mean anyway?
Teenage girl #1: Ummm…I think it’s like “true that!”

–Nail Salon, Park Slope

Posted on August 7, 2021
Cell Phone, Default, Friends, Girls, Languages, Park Slope, Questions, Teens, Words

No Seriously, Lady, That Hurts.

Teen girl to sailor in uniform: Can you do me a huge favor and let me kiss you?
Sailor: Man, you're really twisting my arm huh?

–Top of Empire State Building

Posted on July 8, 2021
Empire State Building, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Men, Offers and requests, Teens

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Teen guy #1: And that was the third time I got syphilis!
(they enter store, then leave)
Teen guy #2: So, tell me about the second time.

–Metro North Station

Overheard by: theslyvegan and co

Posted on July 4, 2021
Default, Guys, Offers and requests, STDs, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens

Wednesday One-liners Lunch Hour

Teen boy: Yo, I got the munchies, B…Yo, what happened to the guys with candy and shit? Shit was mad convenient.

–1 train

Overheard by: I. J. Meyers

Posted on June 17, 2021
Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Elevators, Fashion, Food, Health and Hygiene, Junk Food & Fast Food, Latinos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Retail Therapy, Sex & Relationships, Smokers & Smoking, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Times Square, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Why We Avoid Staten Island: Encapsulated.

Maternal woman to 14-year-old girl: My, aren't you looking sexy!
Random creepy guy: She ain't wrong!

–Bayview Place, Staten Island

Overheard by: now I want a mental shower

Posted on June 12, 2021
Beauty, Compliments, Creepsters, Moms, Parents, Physical appearance, Robbing the Cradle, Staten Island, Teens

Every Episode Of Laguna Beach, in a Nutshell.

Teen girl #1: I'm thinking about buying more clothes!
Teen girl #2: Clothes! Lets go shopping!
Teen girl #1: I know! Dad's money is the best!

–2nd Ave & 12st St

Overheard by: James

Posted on May 17, 2021
Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Money & Class, Shopping, Teens, The Village

The Nicean Council, 2005

Dominican woman: “…angeles y arcangeles y cherubimes.”…Cuales son cherubimes?
Dominican teen #1: Cherubims? Those are those angel babies, you know, with the wings?
Dominican teen #2: Yeah, like the ones on your shower curtain?
Dominican teen #1: Right.
Dominican woman: Y cuales son arcangeles?
Dominican teen #1: Ohhh…those are those big ones, with the big wings. And they’re older.

–Rosa’s Hair Salon, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Michael Kane

Posted on April 21, 2021
Africans, Religion, Teens, Williamsburg

The 21st Century Equivalent Of “I Bite My Thumb at You, Sir”

13-year-old skateboarder to friends: Suck my dick!
Friend #1: I like you, you're my friend, and I'll invite you to my birthday party, but I won't suck your dick.
Friend #2: You provoke me with your boner.

–A Train

Overheard by: devon

Posted on April 4, 2021
Birthdays, BJs, Celebrations/Parties, Erections, Friends, Friendship, Insults, On the Subway, Penis, Skaters, Teens

Teens