Thugette #1: You can take that shit and shove it up your fucking rear end.
Thugette #2: “Rear end”? Why don’t you say “ass”, motherfucker? “Ass”!
Thugette #1: We’re on a fucking train!
–A train
Thugette #1: You can take that shit and shove it up your fucking rear end.
Thugette #2: “Rear end”? Why don’t you say “ass”, motherfucker? “Ass”!
Thugette #1: We’re on a fucking train!
–A train
Thug kid #1: What would you rather do, bite a cat’s head off or fuck Mrs. Kopf* in the ass?
Thug kid #2: What the fuck?
Thug kid #1: Pick one.
Thug kid #2: Fuck no!
Thug kid #1: If you don’t pick one they’re gonna let Mike Tyson fuck your mom in the ass.
Thug kid #2: Fuck you fag! You pick one!
Thug kid #1: Nah, I asked you first. I’ll pick after you pick
Thug kid #2: Cat.
–Jamaica Avenue, Queens
Overheard by: Nado
Chica on cell: He was just white. Like, a white guy. Except Puerto Rican.
–Park Terrace West, Inwood
Overheard by: Gringo Starr
Puerto Rican thug to another, both wearing Puerto Rican flag bandanas as face masks: White people better get used to us. There be like 80 billion of us in the world… Or maybe 8 thousand of us…at least.
–F Train
Overheard by: Brent
Teen on cell: Wait, you're in Puerto Rico? I'll be right there, that's by Chinatown, right? What do you mean it's an island? Like Staten Island? How the fuck did you get there?
–Colombus Circle
Overheard by: Graham Davis
JAP on phone: He called me a clingy JAP! How fucking low! I could've easily pulled the "you're-a-Puerto-Rican-from-Staten-Island" card.
–92nd & 5th
Guy (shouting): Hey guys! You like Puerto Ricans?!
–Times Square
Overheard by: CytoFox
Dad on scooter with eight-year-old girl: I don't want to hear that… Don't fuckin' push me, Joanna! You are not black, you are Puerto Rican!
–Flatbush & Fulton
Overheard by: Chelsea
Scruffy guy: Maybe you’re allergic to kangaroo milk.
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Elaina
Hipster dude on cell: Dude, what the fuck? Everywhere I go in your city there’s, like, no eggnog.
–Mercer St
Overheard by: omar
Street sock vendor to another: This country’s immigration problems could all be solved if they just stopped selling Corona.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Cameron Rose
Crazy guy: Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some fuckin’ water! Dumb bitch forgot the fuckin’ water. Go back up that hill, bitch, and get me my fuckin’ water!
–C train
Overheard by: Chrissy
Thug to wife: Yo, this nigga don’t trust nothin’ ‘less it has an umbrella stickin’ out of it. That’s gangsta!
–Atlantic Station Pathmark
Overheard by: Kosi
Thug #1: You are behind every misfortune I’ve had!. Remember the gun incident in Chicago?
Thug #2: Damon stole my orange juice!
–Times Square
Female suit to thug trying to push through to the front: You know, there's really nowhere for you to fit in here.
Thug: Don't mess with me, I'm from The Bronx.
Female suit: Don't mess with me. I'm from Jersey.
–1 Train
Law professor: Sometimes you just want to tell your client, "Wake the fuck up!"
–NYU Law School
Law student on cell: Well, it's hard to locate them, since I don't know who they are.
–Columbia Law School
Overheard by: arctinus
Older looking woman on cell: No, don't fight him, Henry. We're Jewish. God gave us lawyers for a reason.
–42nd & Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Awesome judge: If you do not have a basic understanding of the English language, you will not be able to serve. If you cannot understand what I'm saying, please come up now. Now, two translators will translate what I just said. If you understood what I said, obviously don't come up here.
–Supreme Court Building
Suit to girl: You must be a lawyer. (pause) Or a cunt.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: How did he know?
Thug: Don't say anything to her! Don't you know anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law?
–132nd & St. Nicholas
Drunk lawyer on phone: Yeah! I convict rape victims.
–Outside Shea Stadium
Thug #1: So, you play sports games on that thing?
Thug #2 with PSP: Nah. I’m not really a sports fanatic.
Thug #1: Yeah, me neither. I just like violence.
Thug #2, slapping hands with Thug #1: Me, too!
–2/3 train near Atlantic Ave
Overheard by: Saeed
Thug #1: So they was like, “Yo, you fucked that bitch without a condom!” And I was like, “Naw.” And they was like, “She pregnant, yo.”
Thug #2: Aw, shit!
Thug #1: When I heard that, I was cryin’. Like, straight-up tears, I was cryin’.
Thug #2: Damn…
Thug #1: I can’t even tell you what I did to get that bitch unpregnant. I’ll say this much: it involved chloroform.
–6 train
