(first nice Saturday of the year)
Thug #1 (using branch as hiking stick): Man, this weather is beautiful. This is like, weather that I dream about.
Thug #2: Yeah, but now my balls is itchin.
–Central Park
(first nice Saturday of the year)
Thug #1 (using branch as hiking stick): Man, this weather is beautiful. This is like, weather that I dream about.
Thug #2: Yeah, but now my balls is itchin.
–Central Park
Thug: Why you gotta be white and ignorant?
White Girl: Why you gotta be black and belligerent?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Bacon
High school thug: All you gotta do to become a corrections officer is take some test, then after that you get to carry a piece 24/7! I want to work at Rikers! You could beat the shit out of whoever and they couldn’t do nothin’!
Friend: Hell yeah…
–3 train
Overheard by: czarina
Thug: Last I heard, he was being charged with some serious shit — accessory to kidnapping, accessory to rape… That’s why you can’t hang out with niggas that’s in love.
–Q19A bus
Overheard by: A White Bear
Thug referencing billboard of The Librarian: Return to King Solomon’s Mines: Yo, that’s an action flick ’bout the Dewey Decimal system!
–49th & Broadway
Overheard by: Nikki W
Thug on cell: Whatchoo mean, it ‘wasn’t a successful relationship’? I stuck it in her butt 14 times! That’s what I call a successful relationship.
–12th St & 4th Ave
Thug teen with sideways ball cap and pants around his knees: It’s like she tryin’ to be fashionable, but it just ain’t workin’, yo!
–34th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: knows better than to wear hats sideways
Young thug to friends: She makes me all romantic… Like, I want to fuck her under the stars and shit.
–Grand & Broadway
Overheard by: Ramona
Thug reading High Times: Shit! I did not just miss my stop again!
–6 train
Overheard by: HelloClairice
WASP man on curb: You almost ran my wife over!
Imitation mobster jumping out of Mercedes: Yeah, you wanna get shot, asshole?!
–W 4th & Perry St
Overheard by: neko
Thug: I’m a super duper human being! I’m a super duper human being! I’m a super duper human being!
–Queens-bound F train
Overheard by: sunburned like a bitch
Teen Latino thug to friend: Yo, there be some mad hot wizards up in this bitch! Or should I say, ‘wizard-ettes.’
—Harry Potter screening, Loews, 34th St
Thug: … And he was there, with his cane and beard, lookin’ all Gandalf and shit.
–86th & Lex
Overheard by: Catherine
Teen thug: She is extra violent! She got UV rays!
–W 4th St platform
Overheard by: Emily B.
Thugette leaning against mail truck: Yeah, I’s the post bitch.
–Church St
Blonde on cell: So it was either an ambulance or a taqueria.
–Times Square
Girl on cell: What? What!? Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital! Please. Why? Because when you get stabbed you go to the hospital, you don’t go and lay down.
–Jersey Transit
Thug, in a rush: Look, I don’t give a fuck! I just want Medicaid!
–13th & 3rd
Disgruntled male gynecologist: We’re the bastard stepchildren of the surgery world. General surgeons barely think we’re human. "Oh, don’t get up, it’s just a gynecologist." I could have been a general surgeon, a plastic surgeon, a dentist, a lawyer… I’d be making more money, too. My brother’s cat needed a caesarian section and the vet got paid more than I get paid to do a caesarian section!
–Gynecology Office, 32nd & Madison
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl on cell: I told you I was sick and needed to go to the doctor’s! I can’t even swallow! I tried food, water and liquids!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ross
Chick in scrubs (lighting cigarette) to friend in scrubs: My heart rate won’t go down!
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: McFreaky
Gay thug #1: I wasn’t hitting on you, I was still with my ex-boyfriend then.
Gay thug #2: Then? Nigga, I wasn’t even gay eight months ago.
–Wendy’s, W. 3rd Street
Overheard by: Lizzy Vegas
Slightly thugged-out guy, rapping to little white poodle: Li'l coco! You's a muthafuckin' beast, yo! Li'l coco! Yeah!
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: John Bender
Guy to dog: Lady, it's just me! There's only me!
–77th St, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Big burly guy to tiny yorkie, as it sniffs tree and walks away: Well, thanks for that false alarm.
–43rd St & 10th Ave
Upper West Side lady to little pampered dog with sweater: It's okay, baby, you can talk.
–80th Ave & Columbus
Hipster dog walker, whispering to herd of dachsunds: Mushhhhh…
–Central Park
Thug #1: So you know her, then.
Thug #2: No.
Thug #1: But you just said “that hot spic chick.”
Thug #2: No, I didn't.
Thug #1: You did! You just called her “that hot spic chick!”
Thug #2: No, I said “that hot delicious chick.” Because everyone's been talking about her.
–7th & Berry, Brooklyn
Overheard by: EthanK
