America's First Black Wednesday One-Liners

Tranny heading toward Halloween parade, seeing Sarah Palin costume: Oh my god! That's the lady President, right? The assistant President!

–W 4th St Subway Station

(muslim hot dog vendor bows down to pray at 5 pm)
Child in stroller: Look! Look! Mommy! Barack Obama!

–W 60th & Columbus

Overheard by: Brian

Thug, to hot girl passing by: Hey! Yo, girl, excuse me! (she keeps walking) So, you're voting for McCain, then?

–60th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Alex A.

Little girl: I want to vote for Obama…because he's the first black person to run against Bush.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Dana

Sidewalk watch vendor: These are the watches Obama wore before he became Senator!

–33rd St & Broadway

Overheard by: crosstown girl

Little black girl trick-or-treating with family: Two, four, six, eight, who do we appreciate? Obama! Obama!

–Pacific St & Nostrand

Overheard by: Obama Now!

Posted on April 2, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Families, Girls, Islam, Kids, Lies, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Pick-up Lines, Politics, President, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Thugs, Trannies, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Not That There’s Anything Wrong With Wednesday-One-Liners

Girl: Someone just needs to push him off the gay cliff, ‘cuz he’s not jumpin!

–Varick &Vandam

Ghetto girl: I seen Whoopie Goldberg’s daughter! She a lesbian, light-skinned, and she bad!

–9th Ave & 16th St

Overheard by: david hyman

Darrell Hammond: It’s only queer if you’re on the bottom.

–Fordham

Overheard by: Jess McGins

Angry man on cell: This is exactly why I don’t date bisexual guys!

–3rd Ave & 9th St

Girl on cell: I still don’t get why you dumped him. Just ’cause you’re a lesbian and he’s got that thing for unicorns doesn’t mean you wouldn’t have been cute together.

–2nd & A

Thug: So I was eating that bitch out, and yo, yo, she told me that she was a lez…A lesbian yo! A lesbian!

–Manhattan Ave & 103rd St

Overheard by: Carol – walking slowly so as to hear the rest

Queer: My friend Carol has been dating gay guys for years and fails to realize it until it’s too late!

–Jamaica Ave and 150th St

Overheard by: Rodney-Rod

Posted on April 1, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Celebrities, Dating, Eating Out, Gays and Lesbians, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Guys, On Cell, Queer guys, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners

Thanks for the Recipe, Pampered Chef!

Thug #1: Yo, what it mean when you call a woman “apple bottom”?
Thug #2 (half asleep): Cake.
Thug #1 to thugette: See woman, I told you it mean you got cake.

–1 Train

Overheard by: bianca's boyfriend

Posted on March 31, 2015
Default, Diet/Weight, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Thugs, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Burn, Baby, Burn

Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: J. Ann

Ghetto girl to thug: You can’t touch this. Keep reminiscin’, mothafucka.

–106th & Columbus

Overheard by: Shmoop

Guy on cell: I’ll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you.

–17th & 5th

Altruist: He’s really nice so I just fake it sometimes.

–Elevator, 120 Wall St

Overheard by: Aubrie

Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8.

–1 train

Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be.

–Washington & Charles

Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I’m just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok.

–Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Posted on March 30, 2015
Beauty, Friendship, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Marriage, Movies, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, People, Pop Culture, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Starbucks, Teens, The Village, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

She Is Pretty Fat, Though

Thug, quietly to young girlfriend: Get it, get it. (then loudly to woman about to steal the seat) Miss, she's pregnant! Miss, she's pregnant! (to girlfriend) Show her your belly. Nah, just playin, she just fat.
Woman: That's… not nice.

–A Train

Posted on March 28, 2015
Diet/Weight, Girlfriends, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Public Transportation, Thugs, Women

Perhaps the Gentleman Meant He’d Like to Feel You on His Tongue?

Thug: Lookin’ fine, snowflake.
Blonde: Wait… Did that guy just call me a snowflake? That’s good, right?
Friend: I feel a new screen name coming on…

–Bleecker & Sullivan

Posted on March 16, 2015
Comebacks, Default, Friends, Girls, Nicknames & name calling, The Village, Thugs

Why Public Schools Rarely Make the Kids Do Geneology Projects

Thug #1, pointing out window: Yo, you see her? That my brother baby mother!
Thug #2: That your baby mother?
Thug #1: Nah, that my baby mother brother! No, wait…

–Q18 bus in Queens

Posted on March 15, 2015
Family Ties, On the Bus, Thugs

Wednesday One-Liners: The Final Frontier

Crazy man dressed like a King: Everyone, I just bought the sun! So if you don't mind, I'd like a hundred dollars an hour if you're using my sunlight.

–Sheep Meadow, Central Park

MTA track worker to another: Why does everybody wanna die tonight, Eric? Is there a full moon or something?

–49th St Station

Overheard by: Jon A.

Man talking to himself on imaginary cellphone: There will never be peace until the planet explodes. Then there will be peace. (pause) Yes, I took my medication today.

–R Train

Overheard by: Matt Giella

Guy in line for a play: I don't take my sunglasses off because the sun never sets on a badass

–41st & 7th

Overheard by: clara

Teen thug to another: He said he likes sunsets. Who says he likes sunsets?

–Macon & Marcy, Brooklyn

Overheard by: g

Co-ed: And Galileo's like, "Saturn has rings!" And Kepler's like, "Oh my god, really?" And Galileo's like, "Ya, really!"

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox