What About This Coin with the Chick and the Baby in the Sling?

Thug, handing coin to dealer: Yo, man, check this out. You ever see something like that? What's it worth?
Black salesman: This is an Eisenhower dollar, from the bicentennial. They're not really worth more than a dollar. You can spend it, or save it as a souvenir.
Thug: Damn, man, I went through a lot of trouble to get this. My grandmother left it to me when she died. You sure it ain't valuable?
Black salesman: I'm afraid not.
Thug: Somebody offered me $100 for this shit.
Black salesman: Then I recommend you go back to that person and sell it to him. It was a great offer.
Thug: Sheeeeeeit. (leaves)
Black salesman, muttering to himself: Stupid-ass nigga.

–Fulton Street Mall

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on December 20, 2009
Black People, Brooklyn, Clerks, Death, Family Ties, For Sale, Insults, Malls, Money & Class, Thugs

…Not As Much As Lethal Weapon 3 but Close.

Thuggish teen #1: You see that movie A Walk to Remember?
Thuggish teen #2: That movie's so good! And the part where Mandy Moore died? Yo, that shit made me cry!

–D Train

Posted on December 18, 2009
About Celebrities, Crying, Movies, On the Subway, Teens, Thugs

Wednesdays Become One-Liner With the Universe

Young child to mother: I am not psychic.

–Downtown B Train

Overheard by: furf

Normal-looking guy: But we have the complexity of magic!

–NYU

Asian Bikram instructor: Listen to your breast and find your inner piss.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Bikram Curious

Thug on cell: You don't know what kind of drugs they gave you, or if you really blacked out. But you have to understand that the spiritual world and the physical world are two different things. (pause) I don't have evidence of a spiritual world. (pause) You know that guy Des-cart? That's his name, right?

–Hunter College

Overheard by: trapped@hunter

Guy on phone: Listen, Julian, you are a shit-ass excuse for a friend. You can lick the peanut butter from between my toes. (pause) Listen, Julian, I'm on the other line with my psychic, let me call you back.

–49th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Lara

Posted on December 16, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Body Parts, Drugs, Food, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Hunter, Insults, Kids, Magic, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Names, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Pee, Philosophy, Psychic, Rack, Science, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Thugs, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

TV Is TV, Curtis

Young woman: I want to see it when they give the Yankees the keys to the city.
Thug boyfriend: Okay.
Young woman: What do the keys open?
Thug boyfriend: It's just, like, a statue and shit.
Young woman: Oh, I thought they all got a turn trying to open the vault at the bank, and one of the keys works.
Thug boyfriend: You dumb bitch. That's The Price Is Right, not The World Series!

–E Train

Posted on December 6, 2009
Boyfriends, Insults, On the Subway, Thugs, TV, Wishes & desires, Women, Yankees

Wednesday One-Liners, Hosted by Rackspace

Woman on cell: He was here for ten days and he only touched my boobs twice!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: and my girlfriend would be upset if it were 10 minutes

Old thug passing three fat chicks on their way to a club: Explosion of titties!

–Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn

Hipster barista guy: A boob is just a moisturized bag of skin, seriously!

–Think Coffee

Overheard by: its to early for this conversation

Full-on punk guy: Dude! Shit is so good! I just want someone to squirt tahini all over my tits!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Dahlia

Girl on phone: Wait! What? No! Well, I do shit a lot. But I don't want to shit my boobs away!

–Times Square

Posted on November 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Baristas, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Ethnic Food, Fat People, Girls, Hipsters, Kink, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Physical appearance, Punks, Rack, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, The Village, Thugs, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

…She's in Between Waxes!

Thugette, calling back friend's toddler: Come here, you drunken monkey!
Child's mother: Don't call her a monkey!

–H&M Fitting Room

Posted on October 31, 2009
Animals & Nature, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Insults, Kids, Moms, Parents, Store, Thugs

I Miss My High School Wedgie-and-Swirlie Friends

Thug selling rap CDs on the corner to nervous Asian boy walking by: Yo, man, you know you want a CD.
Nervous Asian boy: (keeps walking)
Thug, hitting Asian boy on shoulder: You better buy a fucking CD.
Nervous Asian boy: No, thank you. (begins walking faster and turns to friend) You know, I could really see being friends with that guy.

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kay

Posted on October 23, 2009
Asians, Boys, Friends, Friendship, Insults, Music, The Village, Threats, Thugs, Vendors & Street Performers, Weirdness

Although for Some Reason I've Never Seen My Girlfriend and My Mom in the Same Room…

Thugette: Hurry up, motherfucker!
Thug: Hey! I ain't never ever fucked my mother!

–40th & 8th

Headline by: subtleglow

Runners-Up:
· “Don’t Be Vulgar, We Made Love!” – lisha dlp
· “See How He Slipped in That Double Negative? Sly…” – funkstar
· “She Has Standards, After All” – Terry B
· “That Makes One Of Us” – John T

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on October 22, 2009
Family Ties, Headline Contest Winners, Incest, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Parents, Thugs

Everyone's Life Is Full Of Similar Ironies, Trevor

Thug #1 to old man asking for directions: Ask my man here, he the boy from Queens.
Thug #2: That ain't my fault, nigga! That's just where my momma happened to have me!

–A Train

Overheard by: Jesse

Posted on October 10, 2009
Apologies, Directions, NYC Geography, Old People, On the Subway, Parents, Thugs

Thugs