FAQsday One-Liners

NYU girl: It's a box, though… Can you FedEx a box?

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Elena

Tourist: So… Are we like, underground now?

–NRW Train

Overheard by: Stacey

Mom in toy store: Do you guys have any organic play-doh?

–7th Ave & Garfield, Park Slope

Overheard by: persiangroove

Teen tourist bimbo, looking at Rockefeller Center Christmas tree Swarovski tree topper: So, can we buy it?

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Kaitlen

20-something girl: Wait, so what's a blog?

–55th & 6th

Thug on bus on cell: Yeah, I just got on the bus. How will I know when it's the third stop?
(goes on to get off on the second stop)

–Roosevelt Island

Posted on April 21, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Bus, Clerks, Customers, Directions, For Sale, Girls, Internet, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Park Slope, Public Transportation, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Shopping, Sorority Girls, Starbucks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Thugs, Tourism, Tourists, Trains Not Subway, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners

Guess You Have to See the Movie to Understand This

Thug #1 to thug #2, during showing of The Mist: Man, I would've just stayed inside the fuckin' supermarket.
Thug #2: Yeah.
Thug #1: I'd be eatin' all those Doritos an' shit.

–11th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Jojo

Posted on March 27, 2010
Coffee, Film, Movie Theaters, Movies, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires

Wednesday Loves the Smell Of One-Liners' Hair

20-something suit on phone: Yeah, man. Just come over. We can spoon and talk about chicks and shit.

–Wall & Pearl

Overheard by: traceface

Thug to another: Those bitches be cuddlin' your wounds!

–42nd St

Hispanic woman on phone: Yeah, it's crazy snowin' outside. (pause) Uh-huh, yeah, you wanna cuddle. (pause) Hahaha, uh-oh! (pause) Uh-oh, spaghetti-o! (pause) Haha, no, you've already done that. (pause) Hahaha… You've done that already. I have to spin the other way now.. (pause) He he he, you're crazy. Hee heee. (pause) Well, you have a lovely day inside a warm place!

–Q Train

Overheard by: Em Allears

Crazy lady to herself: Does anyone wanna snuggle me for the hell of it? (five minutes later) Why are all these people here? Is it a workday? Cuz if it is, I'm going to get fired. I need a beer!

–G Train

Overheard by: LaughedOutLoud

Guy at cafe: I have pillows just for spooning.

–6th St & 2nd Ave

Posted on March 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Home, Sweet Home, Jobs & Careers, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nicknames & name calling, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Street, Suits, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Dammit, That Was My Tumor

Thug #1: Yo, Quame got cancer, right?
Thug #2: Yeah.
Thug #1: See, that what he get for stealin' from me…

–L Train

Overheard by: Paul

Posted on March 18, 2010
Cancer, Crime and Punishment, On the Subway, Thievery, Thugs

Wednesday One-Liners Have No Trouble Getting Dates

Girl on bench, to guy in whose arms she is snuggled: Get your shit together and decide if you like men or women before you come around trying to date me!

–Battery Park

Woman to friend: What's with all these bi-colored, bi-curious tomatoes?

–Farmers Market, Union Square

Overheard by: Dave

Thug on cell: Yo! You didn't know that? (pause) Yeah man, he love pussy, but he love dick too!

–6th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

Drunk blonde: I like both black guys and white guys. Does that make me bi?

–Joshua Tree Bar, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: Mon

Posted on March 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Battery Park, Colors, Dating, Drunks, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Race, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Without the Bible, Kids Wouldn't Even Think About It

Nine-year-old thugette: Oh, that's my man! Look, there's my man, there goes my sexy man!
Eight-year-old thugette: Shut up, that ain't yo man, that's yo brother!

–The Bronx

Posted on February 23, 2010
Beauty, Family Ties, Kids, Relationships, The Bronx, Thugs

Tonight's Movie: How to Succeed in Business Without Really Fuckin' Tryin'

Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: So, you know Liz on the 10th floor?
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah, what about her?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: I was trying to tell her that she needs to stop fuckin with me.
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah, what'd she say?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: Bitch hung up in my face.
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: Yeah. I called her back.
Thugged-out white mailroom-type guy: Yeah, what'd you say?
Thugged-out black mailroom-type guy: I said, “Yo, Liz! That was like maaaad unprofessional and shit.”

–1 Train

Overheard by: MissUNYC

Posted on February 21, 2010
Advice, Black People, Jobs & Careers, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Questions, Thugs

Just for Starters, Build Her a Birdhouse

Thug on street: Hey, girl! You lookin' fine. I'm gonna do… things to you. Yup, lots of… things.
Thug friend: Like, what you gonna do to her?
Thug: Things, man. I said things.

–125th St & Morningside Ave

Posted on January 31, 2010
Beauty, Compliments, Friends, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Thugs

Tonight's Movie: He's Just Not That Into Hue

Thug #1: Dude, I heard that bitch had a baby by her son, her father, and her grandfather!
Thug #2: Son, I told you not to wear burgundy!
Thug #1: What? What the hell does that have to do with it?
Thug #2: Looking like shit has everything to do with everything.
Thug #1: Well, you're wearing red…
Thug #2: That's totally different, dumbass.

–Downtown 1 Train

Posted on January 29, 2010
Clothing, Colors, Family Ties, Insults, Kids, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Thugs

Apparently It Drives the White Folks Crazy

Black thug #1, holding Indiana Jones dvd: Damn, son, look how young and fly and hip that nigga Harrison Ford was. That shit made his career, son!
Black thug #2: I dunno, man. I don't like a white dude with a whip.

–Best Buy

Overheard by: rob

Posted on January 23, 2010
About Celebrities, Black People, Jobs & Careers, Movies, Physical appearance, Race, Store, Thugs

Thugs