Subway announcement: Service changes will affect the “d” as in “Darby” line and “v” as in “victim” line.
Tourist mom to family: Honey, I don't think it's safe to take the subway, let's get out.
–Prince Street Subway Stop
Subway announcement: Service changes will affect the “d” as in “Darby” line and “v” as in “victim” line.
Tourist mom to family: Honey, I don't think it's safe to take the subway, let's get out.
–Prince Street Subway Stop
American man: So you’re a tourist from Great Britain?
British man: Yes, I am.
American man: Where did you learn to speak English?
British man: We spawned the language, you know.
American man: No. . . that was the English.
–Statue of Liberty crown
Tourist kid to random guy: Do you know where St. Mark's is?
Random guy: You see that spinny cube?
Tourist kid: Yeah.
Random guy: And do you see that clump of punk rock Midwesterners?
Tourist kid: No.
Random guy: Well, you're gonna.
–Astor Place
20-something: I didn't even realize it was my birthday until I checked Facebook!
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: mtrainetiquette
Girl to friend: We should celebrate tonight–it's my half birthday in 10 days.
–Crocodile Lounge, E 14th St
Tourist: See nobody is wearing birthday scars…
–34th St & 5th Ave
Guy to girl: Wait, did you really believe I was going to get you a Hello Kitty vibrator for your birthday?
–45th & 8th
Drunk girl to hobo: It's my birthday! You should be giving *me* money!
–111 & Broadway
Woman: Where are you from?
Tourist: We’re from Texas! Why, could you hear our accents over there?
Woman: No, it’s because in New York we know that you can’t bring dogs into restaurants.
Tourist: You can’t?
Woman: No, you can’t. We work for the Department of Public Health. Consider this a warning.
Tourist: Oh. I thought it was ok because y’all are ok with Paris Hilton and all.
–Red Lobster, Times Square
Overheard by: Lynne & Craig
MTA conductor: Rector street is next. The next stop is rector street.
Old lady tourist to friend: Rector… Rector… Rectum.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Well, we’ve all thought it
Meek tourist, after spending 10 minutes trying to hail a cab: Can you please help me hail a cab?
Disgruntled cop: Fuck you! Find your own damn cab! Christ!
–Times Square
Cute JAP talking about all the stuff she gets: I don't need a man, I have my mom.
–Rare View Bar
Overheard by: white guy
Blonde girl to male friend: Listen, John. Fifteen minutes, your mom. Fifteen minutes, your mom.
–R Train
Annoying 40-something new mom: A good mom always has a diaper in her pocket!
–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th
Overheard by: I Am McLovey
Coworker: I got a bootleg mother.
–Midtown
Window-shopping tourist to wife: Look, honey! It's the dress your mother wore when they buried her!
–Union Square
Overheard by: CJ
Guy: I go over to the house for Mother's Day and she yells at me for not calling her for Mother's Day like my brother did. So I go outside and call her from my cell and say "happy Mother's Day!" and she yells at me for being an idiot.
–37th & 7th
Cop to cabbie: Hurry up, you Arabian fuck! Dumbass towel-heads…
Tourist mom: Do you have to use that language? There are children present.
Cop: Lady, shut up. This is New York — either get with it or get out.
Tourist mom: This never would have happened back in Kansas City.
–Rockefeller Center
Man #1: Oh no…
Man #2: Can we go back to LA now?
Woman: Please do.
–Bedford Avenue station
