We Heart Wednesday One-Liners, Now More Than Ever

Guy to friend: Oowee! Some weed and a perm! That's my perfect New York day.

–West Village

Overheard by: Joe

Conductor: Step in, stand clear…let's go New York!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Ashley Nelson

Intoxicated creepster: Are we in Manhattan? What the hell! This city is so full of New Yorkers!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Lizzzzz

Bitter man on subway: I think one summer here would cure them of any love they have for this town.

–1 Train

Passerby to surprised-looking wife, watching fight: They're fighting. It's New York, that's what people do in this city.

–City Hall

Overheard by: ascorbique & almost famous

Grinning paramedic to female tourist in shock, strapping her to backboard after she was struck by a car: Welcome to New York!

–34th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Mateo que Feo

Posted on July 5, 2015
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Conductors, Couples, Creepsters, EMTs, Fighting and ass kicking, Friends, Gripes, Guys, Love, Men, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Public Transportation, Questions, Street, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, West Village

It's Never Come Up

Girl #1: He's a really great guy, and even if he can't help you, he's cute and has the most charming Irish accent…
Girl #2: Okay, but does he speak English?

–Hudson & Leonard

Posted on June 29, 2015
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Girls, Languages, Questions, Stupidity, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I Love the Condom Hem

Drunk woman: Oh, look at this girl. I love her dress!
Guy: That dress is birth control.

–Prince & Greene

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on June 29, 2015
Drunks, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

There’s Even a Website for It

Teen girl: You know, relationships are a lot like the British government. The queen thinks she’s in charge, but the prime minister has all the power.
Teen boy: I wonder if people in the real world are subjected to this kind of conversation.

–Stuyvesant High School, Chambers Street

Posted on June 28, 2015
Fast Times at New York High, Manhattan, Relationships, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Stuyvesant, Teens, Travel, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

A Burr Under His Saddle

Tourist dad: Look, Alexander Hamilton.
Tourist son: He was young.
Tourist dad: Yeah, wonder what he died of?

–Rector St, by Trinity Graveyard

Overheard by: DTA Officer

Posted on June 24, 2015
Age/Aging, Dads, Death, Default, History & Geography, Kids, Questions, Stupidity, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

I’m Ashamed to Be a Man, Wednesday One-liners

Pre-dad: That fuckin’ thing is getting ready to pop out next week.

–Fulton between Broadway & Center

Posted on June 19, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Guys, Idiots, Insults, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Do You Have Four National Soup-Eating Victories?

Guy: Hey, my brothers are in town.
Girl: Hey! Looks like there will be a whole set of teeth in the house!
Guy: You're a bitch.

–Wall St

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on June 9, 2015
Family Ties, Girls, Guys, Nicknames & name calling, Teeth, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

For the Last Time Dad, Marijuana Is NOT a Vegetable

Street performer: I declare today the “Eat Vegetables and Dance Day”!
Tourist to son: See, I told you all New Yorkers are crazy and high.

–South Street Seaport

Headline by: AlpacaHoss

Runners-Up:
· “As a Perfectly Sane Dance-Eater, I Take Exception to That Remark” – Upstanding New Yorker
· “Does She Mean the People or the Rent Payments?” – Uncle Bling
· “Now Lettuce Boogie Out Of Town” – Kevin Babbles
· “Now LetÂ´s Go to McDonald’s, and I’d Better Not See Those Hips Shaking” – Laura
· “Now Stop Dancing and Eat This Bacon” – Jesse
· “Richard Simmons Tries to Restart His Career” – sweatin to the oldies
· “What and Break My Perfect Morbidly Obese Record?” – Nota Fatty
· “You Laugh Until You Realize That New Yorkers Get the Day Off From Work” – BabakganoosH

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on June 9, 2015
Crazy, Dads, Dancing, Drugs, Headline Contest Winners, Kids, Tourism, Vegetarian & Vegan, Vendors & Street Performers, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Kinda Cool That It's Shaped Like a Question Mark, Though.

Pretty 20-something girl #1: No, he's not like mentally retarded, More like physically retarded.
Pretty 20-something girl #2: Oh, like my toe.
Pretty 20-something girl #1: Exactly.

–Wall Street

Posted on June 8, 2015
Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Handicaps, Retardation, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Is There Any Possible Way I Can Blame New York?

Tourist mom: The last thing I wanted was to be drunk in front of my children.
Son: Too late.

–Embassy Suites, near WTC

Overheard by: Shanaca

Posted on June 7, 2015
Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Hotels, Kids, Moms, Parents, Tourists, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport