Teen girl #1: I hated those guys sitting behind us. I just wanted to bash their heads in!
Teen girl #2: What? The HIV people?
Teen girl #1: Wait…what?
–Paley's Museum of Radio and Television
Teen girl #1: I hated those guys sitting behind us. I just wanted to bash their heads in!
Teen girl #2: What? The HIV people?
Teen girl #1: Wait…what?
–Paley's Museum of Radio and Television
Teen boy #1: I don't like any of her family except her mom. She's okay.
Teen boy #2: Her mom is crazy, yo. I want to rape her with this umbrella. I bet you if I fucked her, she wouldn't even remember, she's so crazy. Wouldn't it be cool if there were a hot chick, like 21, with Alzheimer's and you fucked the shit out of her and then the next day she couldn't remember?
–Q44 Bus
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
NYU girl #1: … Like those people who kill themselves by throwing themselves onto the subway tracks.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, right? I mean, I know you want to die and everything, but could you like not make me late??
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: wow
Girl #1: So yeah, he's been telling my mom every time I fuck up.
Girl #2: Ugh. How old is he, even?
Girl #1: Like 40, maybe 50-ish.
Girl #2: So why, like, do you just not tell him to fuck off?
Girl #1: I want to, but he's been acting all bad-ass since he got cancer.
–Greenpoint YMCA
Overheard by: Anwar
Guy #1: I don’t think aliens are aliens.
Guy #2: Oh no. Me neither.
Guy #1: I think aliens are just regular people who evolved a different way.
Guy #2: I have always believed that. Everyone knows that.
–Astor Place
(short school bus is backing up)
Little boy (mimicking sound): Beep, beep, beep!
(cop car starts siren ten feet away)
Grown man (10 feet away from): Woop woop!
–25th St & Park Ave
Guy #1: Have you ever slept with my wife?
Guy #2: [laughs]
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: X
Woman: Hey! Hey! I know who started the fight! You wanna know?!
Cop: Yeah, sure.
Woman: Actually, I don’t know. Hahaha. I’m going home right now to watch porn, I don’t even care! Haha.
Cop: Wow.
–Broad and Bay, Staten Island
Overheard by: Brandi
Hipster Pee-wee Herman lookalike to friend: Oh, and when I give her anilingus to let me direct a show? You're totally gonna be in it!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Flea
Man: I believe some of this will be made up.
–Going into Wicked, Broadway
Overheard by: CAM
Black highschool girl: Oh my god, why do they keep singing?
—In the Heights, Broadway Musical
Overheard by: Cookie
Woman in Jersey accent: Is this the one about the boy who wants to be a horse or the girl who wants to be a fish?
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: HarlemRy
Daniel Radcliffe fan girl: I have to be in this show some day. Even if I'm eighty, I gotta be in this show with him. I'd be like, "put it in me! Put it in me!"
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Nikki
Man leaving Hair: Well, that beats the hell outta Shakespeare!
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Guy: I mean, you don't really need a shotgun to kill deer. I think a bow and arrow is much cooler.
Girl: Totally.
–Otto's, 14th & B
Overheard by: HaleyBailey
