Teen #1: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Teen #2: What the hell are you doing?
Teen #1: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Teen #2: Are you growling?
Teen #1, pointing at the postcards on the wall: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Teen #2: What?
Teen #1: [Retrieves a Lichtenstein print of a dog with the caption “Grr”.] Grrrrrrrr! It started it! Grrrrrr!
Teen #1: I can’t go anywhere with you, can I?
Teen #2, shaking head: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
–Gugenhiem Gift Shop
Overheard by: Hannah C.
Girl #1: Where do you get bras?
Girl #2: Victoria’s Secret, because no one else has my size.
Girl #1: What size are you?
Girl #2: Buttloads of huge.
–St Marks Place & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Mariah
Girl #1: “Its so annoying how your phone wont learn to spell ‘fuck’.
Girl #2: Yeah. It wont spell “fucked” either, thats the one I have trouble with.
Girl #1: Yeah. Like it always spells “ducked”.
Girl #2: Yeah. And I don’t wanna be ducked, I wanna be fucked!.
–L Train
Overheard by: Lara
Headline by: maggie
Runners-Up:
· “Donald And Daffy Went Home Alone That Night.” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “Fowl Language” – Koren
· “My Phone Totally Just Cock Blocked Me.” – Jennette
· “Old McDonald Had a Fetish, E-I-E-I-Blow” – CV
· “Sexy Is Using a Feather, Kinky Is Using the Whole Bird” – Jatmos
· “That’s Right… Ducked in My Puppy!” – Stick
· “The “Lame Duck” Presidency All Makes Sense Now” – Dale
· “Well, Once You Go Quack…” – Tim Ferlito
Tourist mom, talking extremely loud: Nature means happiness.
Five-year-old son: Why?
Tourist mom: Because nature means life -look at how beautiful nature is.
Five-year-old son: Whoa! Now that’s nature.
Tourist mom: The trees are nice; the road not so much… Look at the sea of trains…
–LIRR
Overheard by: JUSTSHUT UP!
Preppy girl #1: I knew it! I knew it! I told you, I knew it!
Preppy girl #2: Like, oh my god! I knew it, too! I told you I knew it!
Guy, just getting on the train: Like o-m-g, I knew it too!
–R Train
Overheard by: Jenn
Professor, matter of factly: In next week’s film you will see a cock. And it will ejaculate. I hope that’s okay with you all.
–Cantor Film Center, NYU
Professor: I guess I can’t trust you guys to write papers on something scandalous. Good thing I brought a pornographic film for later.
–Manhattan Campus, Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Norma Desmond
Contracts professor: So do you think Paris Hilton is a sucker?
–Brooklyn Law School
Professor to class, as he writes on board: …Moro Islamic Liberation Front, known for its acronym. [A few students get it and laugh.]
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Krisztina one of the first to laugh
Professor: On this index card I’d like you all to write your name and major, as well as your career fantasies. I say career fantasies because when you graduate I’ll see you paying off your loans working at the kwik-e-mart.
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Erum
Korean professor: Here’s how you calculate the intercept shit…
–NYU
English professor: You will find that English critical theory is the key to understanding not only literary perspectives, but also everything on YouTube.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: sromeo
Girl: As long as I don’t get that anthrax thingy I’m cool with the chicken.
–Elevator 112 west 34th st
Overheard by: Rebecca
Five-year-old: Why do babies look like chickens?
–Nederlander Theatre
Overheard by: Jordan
Man explaining menu to wife: You know fried chicken: the chicken with the crust.
–Virgils BBQ, 44th St
Overheard by: fish
Teacher, after seeing one of her seven-year-old students smell an empty subway seat: Sienna, there are 10,000 people a day sitting in that very seat. What do you think it would smell like? Chicken?
–F Train
Overheard by: Marlene Saunders
Woman to man: Everyone loves when you throw the chicken.
–Court & Joralemon, Brooklyn Heights
African tourist: All New Yorkers are sexy! That’s why I love this city. Everywhere I go, sexy. The cops, the people…
–Broadway & Chambers St.
Metro newspaper guy: Hey sexy man, take a metro and be a lot sexier!
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Dora Watson
Loud freshman boy, entering cafeteria with more freshmen: And she pinched my nipple, but it was sexy!
–Edward R. Murrow High School
Overheard by: Kris S.
Student commenting on a painting of Mary and Jesus by Raphael: In this painting Mary has a little more of a…I don’t know, sexual aura. Her face is more narrow, I can kind of see her breast. She has her leg bent in a sexy way kind of like saying "I’m not a virgin anymore".
–Columbia University Art Humanities Class
Overheard by: Going to Hell
Skanky mom to three-year-old son: Hey sexy!
–Central Park
Overheard by: riana
Businesswoman to another: Who’s your sexy hoe?
–33rd St & Park
Tween girl with science textbook: You don’t understand cloning? Okay, let me tell you about it. It’s sexy as hell… [later] I stayed after class to get him to teach me about meiosis and it was really hot. I got so horny!
–F Train
30-something woman to female friend: I’m so happy to see you! I haven’t had sex in a couple of months, except for a few straight girls.
–Carroll Gardens
Smoking chick on cell: I haven’t had sex yet either…I’ll let you know.
–1020 bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Nilla wafer-eating chick: I don’t even understand why people have sex anymore!
–Columbia University
Guy yelling at a woman: Lady! Stop asking, I’m not having sex with you!
–34th & 6th
Guy on cell: Oh my god, do I need to say it? Fine! I promise I won’t try to put my penis in you. Okay?
–Avenue C
Overheard by: lingling
Guy on cell: That’s the thing about sex, it’s all in your head anyway.
–Union Square West
Overheard by: brita bit
Girl: What do you mean, you like her? Like, you-want-to-bone-her like-her?
Guy: Could you please not say that!?
–NYU Kimmel Student Center
Overheard by: A. Haven
