Ghetto girl: So I used his razor to shave my armpits and he got all pissed talkin' bout germs and shit. I told him, “with all the humpin' we's been doin' I think I'm the one who needs to be worried about germs with all your STDs!”
Ghetto friend: Word.
–6 Train
Woman, sounding disgusted: Who falls asleep on the street?
Man, sounding tired of explaining things: A lot of people do.
–Spring St, SoHo
Overheard by: CK
Girl: So you fucked my ex?
Gay guy: I'm sorry, I was wasted! (starts crying)
Girl: He was mine, dammit! We're definitely not shopping tomorrow.
–Union Square
Suit: It's at the point now it doesn't matter too much if my wife gets mad, it's the nanny I can't upset. (other men laugh and agree)
–Uptown A Train
Female employee: I do not want to go to anger management for a third time.
–115th & 5th
Overheard by: Tara
Girl to guy: You seem like the kind of person that would be mad if they got shot.
–Wildwood, Park Ave & 18th St
Overheard by: Sean
Mom to three-year-old son: You mad? You mad? Well, you know what "mad" is spelled backwards, right? "D-a-m." Ain't nothin' you can do about that.
–St. Nicholas Ave & 127th St
Overheard by: stella ho
Thug: She's just mad 'cause she's Mexican.
–Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Wendla B.
Hostess running out of restaurant: Angry couple who just left the bar! You forgot your credit card!
–The Village
Overheard by: DW
Crazy guy (inexplicably overjoyed): Heyyyyy! White people!
–1 Train
Gay black man on cell: She is such a delicate white cunt, she can't raise her own child. She needs a Jamaican man to do it.
–45th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Kristy Magyar
Angry black guy: I swear to god I'm bout to start slappin' white people.
–Union Station
Overheard by: scared white guy
White English guy to Anglo-Filipino chick: I don't think we'll be welcome there because we're white.
–Nostrand & St. Mark's, Brooklyn
Black guy: Man, I love white people, and I never shot anybody!
–Times Square
Panicked child: Mommy, why are there so many white people here?
–Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting
Girl (calmly): She's been having mood swings lately.
Older male friend: What?
Girl (calmly): Mood swings.
Older male friend: What?
Girl (angry): Mood swings, you ass bag!
–E Train
Overheard by: Jillian
Woman being introduced to a man: You already met me, you never remember my name!
Very angry man: No, I don't know you! I'm no ordinary dummy!
–Flying Saucer Café, Brooklyn
Tired commuter: I'm just gonna sit here…I'm too tired to stand.
(she squeezes in small space between two girls.)
Angry girl: You know, you shouldn't touch people's thighs!
Tired commuter: Ooooh, you need Jesus!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: …because that logically follows?
Hipster teenage girl: Yeah, trust me you'd know if you'd seen me disgruntled.
Hipster teenage boy: I haven't?
Hipster teenage girl: Nope. Well…talking online, maybe.
Hipster teenage boy: Oh, you're always disgruntled online. You always have some huge, massive crisis.
Hipster teenage girl: Oh yeah, once I was really pissed off at you. I scream a lot when I'm disgruntled.
Hipster teenage boy: At me?
Hipster teenage girl: No, just in general. At my room mostly.
(long pause)
Hipster teenage girl: I'm bored. Let's go to my house and do some lines!
–Park Slope
Interviewer #1: So, do you deal with a lot of customers on a daily basis?
Young Man: Yes.
Interviewer #2: Tell us about a situation where a customer became irate and how you handled it.
Young Man: Well, I work at Victoria's Secret so I deal with women, mostly. Sometimes, when they need something, they don't want me to help them because I am a man. I just tell them, “You're buying this for your man, so shouldn't a man help you pick out your panties?”
–Commerce Bank, 42nd & 9th
