Guy: I was seeing her for a while, but it just wasn’t working out. I guess I’m not over Jessica.
Girl: What?
Guy: What do you mean, what?
Girl: I thought you were gay.
Guy: Oh, because I’m a hairdresser. How original. Just because I’m a hairdresser you think I’m gay.
Girl: No. I thought you were gay because when I stayed at your house four years ago I woke up and saw you fucking Matt in the ass!
Guy: Oh my God. Matt and I have never talked about that night.
–9th & B
Overheard by: GavinM
Woman: But I thought you said it was okay if we slept with other people?
Man: No, I didn’t! Why the fuck would I say that?!
Woman: Wasn’t that you? I guess not.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Drunk chick #1: You know, you were totally right. I come so much harder from anal!
Drunk chick #2: See! I told you it was the best. Except… Well… I told you about that one problem.
Drunk chick #1: Yeah, I know. Now I take the most enormous shits ever!
A gay couple is standing a few feet away, laughing hysterically.
Queer: Oh, honey, you’re preaching to the choir out here.
–Crobar, W 27th St
20-something girl: I asked my mom if she’d ever had butt sex before, and, like — whoa — bad idea.
Friend: Yeah, I probably could’ve told you that.
20-something girl: But, I mean, we have a really open family.
–6 train
Girl #1: My friend Chandra thinks she’s still a virgin because she’s only had anal sex.
Girl #2: How do you know this girl?
Girl #1: She goes to my church.
–New York Public Library, 40th & 5th
Overheard by: Renee Rogers
Ratty old white man: I don't owe you nothin'.
Dirty old black woman: You owe me a solid two hundred.
Ratty old white man: A solid dick in the ass, maybe.
–Central Park
Overheard by: DKF
NYPD emergency service cop to man carrying very large hamster in a cage: Whoa, did you pull that out of someone's butt?
–50th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Well we're in the neighborhood for it…
30-something to friend: She has everything up her ass but a cock.
–Broadway and Waverly
Tall man to short lady behind her wearing backpack: If you shove that bag any further up my ass, it'll be coming out my mouth!
–Downtown 5 Train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
20-something boyfriend to girlfriend: First I let you put a dildo up my ass, and then you call me a faggot!
–2nd Ave & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Joe
Gay man: Oh. My. God. What kind of friend puts eels up your ass?
–52nd St & 9th Ave
Girlfriend: You said you had never had anal sex before!
Boyfriend: I hadn't. It doesn't count if it goes all the way in.
Girlfriend: It totally counts. I don't even want to think of it going all the way in.
Boyfriend: I didn't even feel it!
Girlfriend: I still feel it!
–Astor Place
Film student: There's subtext to butt-sex?
–School of Visual Arts
Girl, to guy: Was your dick *in* my ass? Did we just do anal?
–Lower East Side
College girl: And my butthole is probably a lot tighter than hers.
–LIRR
Middle aged suit: I think I'd really enjoy anal because I always take such big craps.
–Union Square
Overheard by: alib
Woman to friend: Did you know the latest teenage fad is butt sex?
–177th St & Broadway
Doofy man: My stripper friend has a tattoo on her back.
Woman: Oh, really..?
Doofy man: Yeah, and she said you can only understand it if you do me from the back. (laughs)
–Inwood Dog Park
Overheard by: infinite
