Chick: You can't really have sex with a Sphinx, the body is a lion.
Guy: Sphinxes are still titty-fuckable!
–NYU
Overheard by: LSB
Chick: You can't really have sex with a Sphinx, the body is a lion.
Guy: Sphinxes are still titty-fuckable!
–NYU
Overheard by: LSB
Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it.
–Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx
Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket
Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini!
–F train
Overheard by: braincurve
Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem.
–Madison Square Park
Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now.
–Duane & Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies…
–41st & 8th
Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far.
–Church St
Overheard by: Dara
Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone.
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
Girl #1: What does a brain tumor feel like? Cause I think I have one.
Girl #2: I don't know, but that's horrible.
Girl #1: Yeah, it would suck a lot. It just feels like there's a lump, in my brain. I'm really out of shape, though, so I'm hoping the lump is just another pile of fat building up in my bod.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: pomy
A group of little kids are selling M&Ms on the train, perhaps to raise money for their school’s basketballing team. Homeless black dude with silver teeth enters and proceeds to yell at them.
Hobo: I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY!
–L Train
Overheard by: Vickers Bastard Gringo
Thug, taking a drink: Yo, this water’s mad wet.
–Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Guy: I mean, I don’t want any bok choy in my chakra.
–12th & Broadway
Overheard by: aryn
Conductor: May I see your ticket, please?
Drunk tranny: I already showed my ticket.
Conductor: Yes, but you haven’t showed it to me.
Drunk tranny: What the fuck? I already showed my damn ticket.
Conductor: OK, calm down. Just show me your ticket, please… I’ll come back for it to give you a minute to find it.
Drunk tranny: You are probably a leather queen. I pay $16,000 for a cunt and this is the disrespect I get. I am fucking changing cars.
–Long Beach bound LIRR
Woman: And how are things with your girlfriend, hm? What is she like?
Guy: Well… she does have a big nose.
Woman: Her nose? Why are you concerned about her nose? It's her personality that matters!
Guy: But she always hits me whenever I mention it!
–5th Ave
Overheard by: the art major
Girl on cell: Face eating tumor. Did you hear me? Face eating tumor!
–Grand Central
Chick #1: I’m nostalgic for the ’40s.
Chick #2: You can’t be nostalgic for an era you never lived through.
Chick #1: Fine. Then I long for the ’40s to the very depth of my soul.
Chick #2: From your loins?
Chick #1: Yes. My loins… They long for the ’40s.
–Herald Square
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay. There is a problem with a signal and there are trains in front of us. The good news is, there's a bar car!
–Metro North
Overheard by: Anna
Obese lady buying pork chops to obese friend: I be cutting down on on soda.
–Troy Ave & Park Place
Exasperated woman: And he was drinking Jack Daniels before he even got to my place…
–3rd & 6th
Overheard by: j
Female suit on cell: Well, what do you expect? It was green Gatorade and grain alcohol!
–Broadway & 54th St
Overheard by: Loren
Bag lady to another: Listen, Alice, if you don't want to lose your leg, you gotta drink water, they'll take your legs otherwise.
–42nd St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Robin
Frantic woman on cell: Oh my god! There is no soy milk anywhere in this city! (sprints out of Starbucks)
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: ellie
Tough guy outside bar with friends: So I like apple juice. What the fuck?
–East Village
