Hobo: Please help me, I’m hungry. Please help me, I’m hungry…
Suit: Don’t lie, motherfucker. You need that shit fo’ crack!
–D train
Hobo: Please help me, I’m hungry. Please help me, I’m hungry…
Suit: Don’t lie, motherfucker. You need that shit fo’ crack!
–D train
Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.
–24th St & 3rd Ave
Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Jack
Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!
–N Train
Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Denali
Guy, in chinese: Do you think I'm Harry Potter?
–Vivi Bubble Tea Bar
Girl on cell outside art bar: And I was like "Dumbledore, try some jeans."
–8th Ave & Horatio St
Overheard by: Jean Ann
Cute girl graduating to friend: I hate gowns… How does Harry Potter stand it?
–Columbia University Business School Graduation
Overheard by: Jen
Guy, after watching new Harry Potter movie: Man… that's it? That was a lap dance!
–42nd Street Movie Theater
Crazy woman wrapped in shawls: I'd kidnap and fuck Harry Potter for an eight ball of coke. (to onlooker) Why aren't you at work?
–Brooklyn Theater
Overheard by: JesseJack (I've got a Job)
Creepy guy, with buddy: Hey, do you girls live here?
Girl: Yes.
Creepy guy: Do you know where the main street is with all the little streets coming off it?
Girl: Uh…
Creepy guy: Do you know where we can get some coke?
Girl: Oh, go that way.
–11th & 3rd
Overheard by: Otto
Guy: Oh my god! I just snorted!
Girl: Hey! There’s only room for one snorter and I’ve already claimed that title.
–AMC Loews, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: Natalie
Woman: What’s the average shelf life for a crackhead?
Man: She’s doing a lot, I mean…
Woman: But how long can she go?
Man: Crackheads? I’d give’ em a good 10 years.
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jones
Chick #1: You shouldn’t have slept with him. You knew that would really hurt his girlfriend…
Chick #2: Yeah, I know, but we were both so high on coke that neither of us should be held responsible for our actions.
–Starbucks, 50th & 9th
Overheard by: sketchy
Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Laura Grossman
Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel?
–Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez
Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week.
–Upper East Side
Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys.
–Broadway & Wooster
Overheard by: ClassyGal
Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine.
–Central Park
Girl: If you want to get a feel for coke, chop up an aspirin and snort it up your nose. That should do it.
–Joseph’s on 49th Street
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Guy: If you’re a cokehead you can really climb the corporate ladder. That’s all those guys making six figures.
Girl: It’s in American Psycho.
Guy: Then they burn out and the new guys come in.
–Lakeside Lounge, Ave. B
