Girl: So she made a mistake!
Man: She’s a pedophile!
Girl: It was a big mistake!
–62nd & York
Overheard by: petey
Girl: So she made a mistake!
Man: She’s a pedophile!
Girl: It was a big mistake!
–62nd & York
Overheard by: petey
Straight guy #1: Dude, I like your family, but there is no way that I would blow the whole football team to save their lives.
Straight guy #2: Well, I’d blow them for your family.
Straight guy #1: Even if it was right after a game?
Straight guy #2: If I have to blow 60 guys, you think I’d give a shit if they are sweaty or not? That’s the least of it.
–In line at Just Salad, E 51st
Teenage dancer guy #1: I think he’d want his favorite student to eat at his favorite restaurant.
Teenage dancer guy #2: You’re not his favorite student, you’re just his sex buddy.
–W 85th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: uptowngirl137
Jewish girl: I think my family likes me because I will fulfill my potential to be a pompous ass.
–NYU Bobst Library
Thirty-something Hispanic woman: All my nephews are boys… All of them.
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Suze V
Girl on cell: Well then maybe you shouldn’t have fucked my sister!
–70 & Broadway
Girl on cell: …The half-Asian, half-Jewish guy. And she’s like: "My brother is so pissed at me!" and I’m like: "Of course he’s pissed, you’ve gotten with six of his friends."
–St. John’s University
Overheard by: Peter G
Guy: I’ve seen my sister-in law’s titties so many times…
–Yankee Stadium
Girl on cell: So the little girl at the wedding was like: "Are you guys brothers?" And I was like: "No, we fuck".
–24th St b/w 6th & 7th
Overheard by: Amy
Young man in small crowd: Honestly, the vaginas I’ve seen in real life are nowhere near as bad as the vaginas I’ve seen in med school.
–86th & Columbus
Overheard by: Stacey
Girl: I feel like the male anatomy is so much more straightforward. The vag is hard to master.
–Fordham University
20-something girl: If he’s gonna be such a whiny vagina about you being safe about your vagina, then you shouldn’t be sleeping with him anyways.
–NYU Dorm
Teenage boy, eating a sandwich: He said no mayonnaise. It tastes like a big vagina.
–63rd Drive & Queens Boulevard
Hobo: And then the woman just sucked it all into her vagina.
–44th & 7th
Overheard by: The One
Frantic Asian guy, running across the street in front of Worldwide Plaza: Yeah… Yeah… But whose vagina?"
–9th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: tinyfoo
Girl: God, that dog’s farts are disgusting.
Guy: Yea, her ass smells like World War II.
–M Train
Overheard by: Jonathan V.
Black teen girl #1: Okay, what’s your sign?
Black teen girl #2: Aries!
Black teen girl #1: [reading] “You will learn a lot this month…”
Black teen girl #2: Man, fuck that shit, all I want to learn is the true anatomy of my vagina!
–N Train
Overheard by: Natalie
Woman #1: What did that guy just say?
Woman #2: He called you a stinky ass!
Woman #1: What? So what did you say?
Woman #2: I said: “Excuse me! She has a bidet!”
–Paragon Sports, Union Square
Overheard by: Manulski
Young woman #1: I don’t want to apply too many times though, because I don’t want to look desperate.
Young woman #2: Oh, how many times have you applied?
Young woman #1: None.
–Diner, 48th & Lexington
Overheard by: Visitor to NYC
[At 3:00 pm.]Researcher: Oh, I needed to talk to you about the… Oh, wait, good morning! Sorry, good morning first.
Doctor: Morning!? It’s almost noon!
Intern, scared and whispering: Oh my goodness, they’re all crazy.
–NYU Medical Center
