Skeevy vendor to girl purchasing sunglasses: Here, I polish for you.
Girl: Oh, thank you.
Skeevy vendor: You pretty girl. I polish for you. For ugly girls -never.
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mariah
Skeevy vendor to girl purchasing sunglasses: Here, I polish for you.
Girl: Oh, thank you.
Skeevy vendor: You pretty girl. I polish for you. For ugly girls -never.
–St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mariah
Chick on cell: It's all about the eyeball lick. Tell her.
–59th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: aenigma
NYPD cop: I would rather lick the street than ever smell your fart again.
–Forsyth St & E Houston St
Overheard by: Dave-o
Teen girl to friends: He's so gross! Seriously, I'd rather lick my cat's asshole than hook up with that guy!
–Barnes & Noble, Bayside
Guy at bar to friend: I can't believe you married a woman who won't lick your asshole.
–Ale House, MacDougal St
Random woman: Why do you always insist on licking my elbow?
–86th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jana
Teenager #1: Oh my god, she is like way too skinny.
Teenager #2: Yeah.
Teenager #1: I mean, don't get me wrong, I love way too skinny, it just doesn't look good on her.
Teenager #2: Totally.
–Atlantic Avenue Station
Overheard by: Nina
Female law student #1: So we get Hannukah off then?
Female law student #2: Well, duh! Fordham’s a Jesuit school.
–Fordham Law School
Overheard by: Jamie L
Thuggish 11-year-old #1, looking at in-flight magazine: That car is sweet.
Thuggish 11-year-old #2: Oh, it’s okay. I’m a BMW man myself.
–AirTran flight out of LaGuardia
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Middle Eastern man to register girl at sex shop: You have most beautiful eyes in Manhattan.
Register girl: Um, thanks.
Middle Eastern man: You look like European girl.
Register girl: I get that a lot.
Middle Eastern man: Let's go out for drink tonight.
Register girl: No.
Middle Eastern man: Okay, thank you!
–Sex Shop, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Nanda
Conductor: This is the 3:07 off peak train to Huntington. Stopping at Woodside, Jamaica, New Hyde Park…blah, blah, blah, you get the idea. Watch the gap. (clicks microphone off)
–LIRR
Conductor: There's a 2 express train right across the platform. Ready, set, go!
–1 Train
Conductor: There's a Brighton Beach-bound b train across the platform. Say that three times fast.
–F Train
Overheard by: Thom Cohen
Conductor: Ladies and gentleman, I have a very important announcement: this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. I repeat, this is not the last helicopter out of Saigon. There will be another train after this one, and another one after that.
–Downtown 2 Train
Train conductor: This message is for the young man who stepped to the edge of the platform at the front of the train. This train feels no pain, this train has no brain. How about you?
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Guitarbuyer
Bus driver: This is East 18th Street. If you get off here, you'll be at the q train faster. If you choose to not use your god-given walking ability, the q train is next.
–B11 Bus
Overheard by: not using her god given walking ability
Conductor: This is 96th Street. Next stop, 103rd. Everyone ready? And away we go!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ali
Mother to young son: Get down from there. Walk down the stairs like a human being!
Son: I’m not a… I’m a alien.
Mother: Fine then. Maybe we’ll just leave you here… In your natural habitat.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Jordan Leyton-Mange
Woman #1: … So he’ll go to the one in Mexico, and I’ll go to the one in Greece.
Woman #2: Yeah, I don’t think I’ve been to a destination wedding yet.
–45th & Madison
Girl: Why does the 10:15 movie have to be sold out?
Guy: Because a bunch of losers were in front of us.
Girl: Just like in high school.
–11th St & 3rd Ave
