Dumb woman looking at Chinese takeout menu: Chicken and rice soup. What's in it?
Confused woman behind counter: Chicken and rice.
Dumb woman: In a soup?
Confused woman: Yeeaah. That's why it's called “chicken and rice soup.”
Dumb woman: Okay, I'll have that.
–E 23rd St b/w Park Ave & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Janine
Guy selling city maps, singing to beat of nearby music: Who needs a map? Who needs a map? It's not a trap!
–Central Park
Ghetto guy selling knockoff perfumes on street: Don't ask me where I got em' from, just get em' before the police come. I got DKNY, my mami J.Lo… Get em' folks! Get em'
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Alli
Street vendor to customer examining knockoff purses: Hurry it up. I need money.
–Madison & 59th St
Overheard by: Jennifer
Wannabe hip hop artist: Y'all like hip hop? Please look at my CDs. Miss, you have a beautiful forehead. Please buy my CD.
–Times Square
Guy handing out fliers: Hey! You guys like vagina?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Brett
Gristedes cashier to customer: Here's your change, and you get a coupon too.
Customer: Is it good for a Craigslist hooker?
–Upper East Side
Overheard by: Amused Shopper
Customer to employee: Excuse me, are these zucchini?
Employee: No, they're pickles.
Customer: Are you sure? They look like zucchini!
Employee: Yes, they're pickles.
Customer: Oh. (pause) Do they taste like zucchini?
Employee, after long pause: Yes. Yeah…pickles tastes like zucchini.
–Balducci's Restaurant
20-something female on cell: But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
–23rd St & 5th Ave
Customer, after placing order: …with hardboiled eggs.
Gay waiter: Hardboiled eggs smell like dirty assholes, an I've seen a few dirty assholes.
–Denny's
Overheard by: student-19
Preppy guy on cell: No, dude! I don't know, like…like really dirty girls.
–86th & Lexington
Overheard by: Anne
12-year-old boy to mother: The bum, you know! The dirty man that plays with me.
–Forest Parkway
Overheard by: Jason A
Guy dancing on new lawn: This isn't even good grass! It's dirty, yo!
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Falafel vendor: What're you, in a bad mood?
Customer: No, I'm in a good mood. I'm always in a good mood. I'm just ugly.
–168th & Ft. Washington
Waiting patron to man in stylist chair: You look like the guy in that old gangster movie. It's not Scarface, though.
Hair stylist: The one with John Travolta, right?
Patron: No, no, it's an old one, with George Raft.
Man in chair: I don't know which one you mean…
Patron: No, it's an old one. Black and white, from the '30s.
Hair stylist: Face/Off, it's with John Travolta and Nicolas Cage.
–125th St & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Latino sandwich artist to sassy white girl: Is that all or do you need to order a sandwich for your husband too?
Sassy girl: He doesn't exist, so he doesn't get a sandwich.
–Subway Restaurant
Overheard by: missalicious
Travel agent: But they do give a wristband to all-inclusive guests and…
Slightly pudgy woman, in exasperated voice: But I don't usually wear anything on holidays!
–Travel Agent, 23rd St
Customer: Are these shorts with NYU on the back for men or women?
Male employee in ghetto accent: Miss, would you let your boyfriend wear that on his ass?
–NYU Bookstore
Overheard by: Adrianna
