[Just before the curtain rises on the opera Carmen.]Guy: Do you know the show?
Girl: Uh-uh.
Guy: It’s sooo sad. Like Rent.
Girl: Oooh. Wow.
–The Met
[Just before the curtain rises on the opera Carmen.]Guy: Do you know the show?
Girl: Uh-uh.
Guy: It’s sooo sad. Like Rent.
Girl: Oooh. Wow.
–The Met
Ugly guy: Yeah, we broke up because it just didn’t work out between us. We had too many differences.
Pretty girl: I’m sorry to hear that. How long has it been?
Ugly guy: Years, so I’m over it. Well, we were swingers so it got complicated. Well, – I was a swinger. She wasn’t.
Pretty girl: Ummm… (stares at wall) Great elevator conversation!
–Elevator, Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway
Girl: Oh! Did I tell you? Karen* had an orgasm from anal!
Queer: You guys can can do that too?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Sean, not queer but not straight
Columbia guy: So then Caroline* decided to take all of his valuables and hide them in the back room, to make it look like he’d been robbed. When he came home he, like, *freaked out* and called 911.
Columbia chick: That’s hilarious!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ein Ladle
Headline by: Mikey G.
Runners-Up:
· “And After He Killed Her, He Pretended to Do CPR!” – JesusFreak
· “And She Didn’t Check the Psycho Box on Match.com” – digruntled internet dater
· “He Didn’t Like His Anal Rape-Themed Surprise Birthday Party Either…” – Beartram
· “I Bet the “Just Kidding Your Place Wasn’t Robbed Sex” Was Awesome, Too.” – anonmouse
· “Turns Out There’s No Spot For “Masculinity” on Insurance Claim Forms” – Jamie
Suit #1: Yeah, back in high school I picked on the wimps in gym. It's how I made friends, y'know?
Suit #2: Yeah, totally. That's how I made friends too.
Suit #1: I wonder whatever happened to those guys.
–6th Ave
Teen guy #1: And that was the third time I got syphilis!
(they enter store, then leave)
Teen guy #2: So, tell me about the second time.
–Metro North Station
Overheard by: theslyvegan and co
MTA conductor: Rector street is next. The next stop is rector street.
Old lady tourist to friend: Rector… Rector… Rectum.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Well, we’ve all thought it
Dude: He’s the black, blind Motown equivalent of Kenny G.
–113th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Girl, while leaving screening of "I am legend": Okay… I cannot believe the woman did not know Bob Marley! I mean, that had to be the most unrealistic thing in that entire film.
–Fresh Meadows, Queens
Overheard by: hmmm…
Curly-haired chick: Has New Order become an okay kinky sex background band? Am I *old*?
–113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Poogins
Guy, standing next to guy listening to Journey on his iPod: Get away from me! Just get the fuck away from me!
–2 Train
Dumb girl dressed like Scary Spice en route to the concert: Yeah, a lot of people think that the Spice Girls like, reinstated feminism.
–NJ Transit
Yale grad: Eminem has a wonderful sense of meter.
–Court St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: Justin Casement
Queer: We only stayed for 15 minutes, I’m not that into karaoke. And when a coven of lesbians start casting their spells to "My Sharona", I was outta there."
–Chambers & Greenwich
Overheard by: Grand Witch Muffy
Drunk, creepy guy #1: She’s always telling us about our flaws, and why she won’t get with us, but she won’t listen to us tell her about her flaws!
Drunk, creepy guy #2, burning his hand with a lighter: Yeah, she probably acts the way she does because she was raped, but she’s like “I don’t want to talk about it!”
–1 train
Little girl: I’m going to throw up.
Mother: You can throw up when we get off the train.
Little girl: [pauses] I love you, mommy.
–N Train
Overheard by: Rachel
