And I’m Like, You Just Happened to Have a Video Camera?

Teenage girl: My mom is always walkin’ in on me having sex. I’m all like, mom what the fuck, I’m all having sex. Get the fuck out.
Teenage boy: Oh daaamn, I hate that. I always turn the music up real loud so my mom can’t hear me fuck. I fucked my girl to that Akon song. I was in her so deep and that shit was just pumpin’!
Girl: Ohh daaamn.
Boy: You need to tell your mom to get all out yo shit.
Girl: Yeah, she’s always walkin’ in right in the middle and I’m all like, mom get out. Then she tells me she didn’t know, and I’m like, mom I don’t got to tell you every time I’m having sex.

–Target, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Nate

Posted on April 5, 2008
Boys, Brooklyn, Default, Family Ties, Girls, Gripes, Music, Offers and requests, Parents, Relationships, Sex, Store, Teens

It’s a Real One-Traffic-Light Town

Blonde with group of tourists: Is New Jersey that way? [Points toward the west.]New Yorker: Yes, but there’s a river between here and there.
Blonde with group of tourists: You mean we can’t walk there?
New Yorker: Not really.
Blonde with group of tourists: Damn girls, what are we going to do tonight? We can’t go to Jersey and there’s nothing to do in New York.

–40th & 6th

Overheard by: Jersey, the state that never sleeps.

Posted on April 5, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Default, Gripes, Idiots, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists, Travel, Wishes & desires, Women

You’re Just Jealous Because Heath Ledger’s Housekeeper Called Me and Not You

Skinny girl #1: … And these guys always want to do blow with me, like all the time, it’s so weird!
Skinny girl #2: Awww, no one ever wants to do blow with me.
Skinny girl #1, whispering loudly: That’s because your ass is the size of Russia.

–Tiffany & Co.

Overheard by: EDW

Posted on April 5, 2008
Ass, Cocaine, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Global Geography, Gripes, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Skinny People, Store

He Only Eats Chicken / Beef / Whey Protein Cannolis

Dad in pet food aisle, near huge bags of kitty litter: You can’t haul that.
Son: 190 pounds of solid muscle, man.
Dad, snorting: Thought that was canoli.

–Key Food, 4th St & Avenue A

Overheard by: Michelle

Posted on April 5, 2008
Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Dads, Default, Diet/Weight, Fitness, Food, Guys, Store

Will She Do an Inverted 4-G Dive at 2 Meters?

Queer #1: That guy’s kinda cute.
Queer #2: Dude, that’s a dyke…there’s a whole contingent of dykes that strive for the Tom-Cruise-from-Top-Gun look.

–10th St & Ave A

Overheard by: paulie

Posted on April 5, 2008
About Celebrities, Compare/Contrast, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Movies, Physical appearance, Queer guys, Street, Union Square and East Village

…to Go

Girl: Well, you would have to be loaded to get someone to wash your balls every hour.
Guy: No, I wouldn’t. I could do that shit now! Just pay someone who works at McDonald’s five bucks an hour more, they would so do it.
Girl: Yah, but do you really want someone who worked at McDonald’s washing your balls?
Guy: I’m getting a chubby.

–Greene St & Spring St

Overheard by: Laughed Out Loud

Posted on April 5, 2008
Balls, Default, Erections, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Offers and requests, Street, The Village

Your Editors Are Appalled by This Display of Public Decency

Girl #1: What’s a blow job?
Girl #2: [looks at her strangely then laughs] are you seriously asking that?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: We’re gonna have a long discussion later…

–231st St

Overheard by: Adrian

Posted on April 4, 2008
BJs, Default, Education, Friends, Girls, Queens, Questions

You Are the Play-Doh Fun Factory of Vomit

Hardhat #1, feigning retching: Bleaahhhhhh!
Hardhat #2, laughing: Yeah, but truth be told, ain’t no one throw up as smooth as I do. Do you know anyone smoother?
Hardhat #1: You right, you do throw up smooth.

–Construction Site, 86th & 3rd

Overheard by: Barry