Doctors

Doctor (on cell): Hello Doctor…Just tell her to take more anti-depressants for God’s sake. I don’t know, tell her to take three. I’m with my kids for Father’s Day, OK?

–33rd Street and 6th Avenue

Overheard by: Christopher

Chinese doctor: Where you from?
Nurse: Poland.
Chinese doctor: Good, you speak Czechlosvakian. I need to translate, this man is from Beirut.

–Elmhurst Hospital, Queens

Doctor guy: What brings you here today?
Woman: You’re not wearing ID. Are you a doctor?
Doctor guy: Oh, I’m sorry, I left it at the computer.

He goes to get it.

Man: What didja do that for?
Woman: How do you know he’s really a doctor? He could be a homosexual.

–Coney Island Hospital

Overheard by: Iris Kalashnikova

Lady suit: I can’t keep coming here to get my prescription filled. They’re beginning to recognize me.
Suit: So what?
Lady suit: So, what if I get in trouble?
Suit: Why would you get in trouble? You have a prescription from a doctor.
Lady suit: If you say so. Oh, shit, I forgot to put the date on this.

–Duane Reade, 89th & Columbus

Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Blonde on cell: So it was either an ambulance or a taqueria.

–Times Square

Girl on cell: What? What!? Go to the hospital. Go to the hospital! Please. Why? Because when you get stabbed you go to the hospital, you don’t go and lay down.

–Jersey Transit

Thug, in a rush: Look, I don’t give a fuck! I just want Medicaid!

–13th & 3rd

Disgruntled male gynecologist: We’re the bastard stepchildren of the surgery world. General surgeons barely think we’re human. "Oh, don’t get up, it’s just a gynecologist." I could have been a general surgeon, a plastic surgeon, a dentist, a lawyer… I’d be making more money, too. My brother’s cat needed a caesarian section and the vet got paid more than I get paid to do a caesarian section!

–Gynecology Office, 32nd & Madison

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Girl on cell: I told you I was sick and needed to go to the doctor’s! I can’t even swallow! I tried food, water and liquids!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Ross

Chick in scrubs (lighting cigarette) to friend in scrubs: My heart rate won’t go down!

–113th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: McFreaky

Delivery guy, bringing soda that wasn’t delivered the first time: You ordered a mistake?
Man: Huh?
Delivery guy: Somebody ordered a mistake?

–117th & 2nd

Overheard by: cerebral pauly

Doctor #1: Who are you going on vacation with?
Doctor #2: My wife and my girlfriend.

–168th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Emm

ER Dr : What's your boyfriend's last name?
Bimbo: I don't know, but we're friends on Facebook, I could look it up.

–Beth Israel Emergency Room

Overheard by: Doc_Becca

Mom to friend, as baby makes screeching sounds and bounces around in stroller: I swear I didn't do drugs while I was pregnant with her. But I did have quite a few raspberry martinis before I knew I was knocked up.

–Belmont Park Race Track

20-something woman on phone: I need to slap that bitch. I don't care she pregnant, her face ain't pregnant.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Mike

Ghetto baby momma: And it was like I was giving birth on the toilet!

–Belmont Ave & 188th St

Overheard by: Toomuchinformation

Doctor to patient: You're not pregnant, you just have gas.

–W 204th St

Overheard by: JMS

Little girl on cell: Oh my god, I know! And I'm, like, "that's why you're fucking pregnant"!

–Central Park

Woman in therapy: So I don't know, I really liked her.
Therapist: Well, did you talk to her about it?
Woman: No, the bitch doesn't call me anymore, she does yoga now. We used to go to Star Trek conventions together, but she stopped talking to me. I don't even care about that bitch anymore.
Therapist: You know, she's not a bitch just because she doesn't want to talk to you!
Woman: Yes she is, I don't even care.

–Forest Hills

Overheard by: They need a sound machine