English teacher: So tell me: why might Martin Luther King have written “I have a dream”? What was he trying to accomplish?
Ditzy blonde freshman, raising hand: Well, I mean, he was trying to free all the slaves. Duh!
–Wagner College
Overheard by: Rupert
Professor: Do you guys watch American Idol? It’s painful.
–Lehman College
Film student #1: It’s kind of like Cloverfield meets The L Word.
–Waverly Place & Broadway
Valley girl wearing UGGs, pointing to Guggenheim: Oh! I think this is the building where Blair and Serena live!
–Outside of Guggenheim
Really effeminate 40‐something man: I always pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I didn’t this time… but I couldn’t, because I was still in mourning over American Idol!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Melissa
Queer to female friend: I was watchin’ Oprah the other day. Oprah is legit! She had Christina Applegate on. You know, that girl from Married with Children and she was talkin’ ’bout her breasts. She got breast cancer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpectomies.
–J Train
Guy: That’s the new American dream – fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.
–Fundraising Walk, Battery Park
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Girl: The woman hasn’t had a date in…ten years!
Guy: She’s a lesbian?
Girl: No. I wish she was a lesbian…then she’d be easier to deal with. Actually, last night I dreamed she was a lesbian.
–Q Train
Overheard by: Jenny
Girl on cell: Sorry I texted you when you were giving birth.
–27th St & Park Ave
20‐something girl: I kept saying, “I emailed a text to him!”
–Pub, 59th & 3rd
Overheard by: Bluetoothed them a postcard
20‐something girl correcting her friend’s text message: No, you don’t need an apostrophe there. It’s “hos,” plural, not “of or pertaining to a ho.”
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy with suitcase on cell: I sent him a text asking if I could stay at his place, and he said sure. I find out today he was being sarcastic.
–116th & Broadway
Student: Okay, it’s 3:20. I think it’s an appropriate time to text Ben and tell him I had a sex dream about him.
–Sarah Lawrence College
Overheard by: Anna
Girl to another: And she went to get into her car. I was like “you’d better get out of here or I’m gonna fuck you up.” And she was all slamming the door and stopping over to me. And I was all in her face and bitch‐slapped her. Well, that last part might have been a dream. But then she got into her car and left.
–NY Central Library
Overheard by: amused
Woman on cell: Hi, Annie! How are you? (pause) I’m going to get my ass kicked by a very big black man.
–Park Slope
Suit on cell: If you don’t stop hanging up on me, I will kick you in the throat.
–Times Square
Guy on cell, very loudly: Yeah, but, so nobody knows about it except me and the other guys in the fight club.
–21st St & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex
20‐something girl: And then she chloroformed me. (pause) I said that too loud.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Russ
Police officer: I thought you were in the Marines now.
Marine: Yeah, I ship out next week.
Police officer: I dream about having a job where I help people…
–Bagel Shop, Queens
Overheard by: Traczie
20‐something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him.
–Strawberry’s, Queens Centre Mall
Overheard by: i like that option…
Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and I’ve never had them before. I think it must be the time of year or something.
–Hudson River Park
Girl on cell: Well, he slipped me Ecstasy while I was sleeping…
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Guy on cell: That’s awesome! (pause) That’s awesome! (pause) Dude, that’s like reverse Sleepaway Camp!
–27th & 2nd
Overheard by: liz
Nurse: I just want to stop having dreams of him saying “pap‐smear pap‐smear pap‐smear…”
–Columbia University
Overheard by: p y l
Platinum blonde chick: I had another nightmare last night.
Friend: About what?
Platinum blonde chick: Dyeing my hair black.
–Elevator, Pratt Institute
Woman #1, seated at bar in restaurant: My daughter told me she was going to finish med school, then her internship, and then her residency… but before going into practice she was going to take time off to “follow her dream.“
Woman #2, seated at bar: What’s her dream?
Woman #1: To become a professional wrestler.
–Restaurant, West Village
