Friend #1: It smells like green beans on this train!
Friend #2: Your mom smells like green beans.
Friend #1: (pauses) I know.
–F Train
Friend #1: It smells like green beans on this train!
Friend #2: Your mom smells like green beans.
Friend #1: (pauses) I know.
–F Train
Chick #1: … And then he just shoved his whole fist in! I mean, he didn’t even place it in. I guess he was, like, really drunk or something, but I mean, still — and everyone at the table was like, ‘Awkward…’
Chick #2: So awkward!
–41 Eastern Pkwy, Brooklyn
Girl #1: Poor Anthony needs to get laid.
Girl #2: I’d lay him if he promised not to be emo about it.
–Times Square
Guy: Dude! It’s the guy who took over Factsheet 5!
Girl: Who?
Guy: Factsheet 5! It was a zine about zines.
Girl: Who?
Guy: Stop saying “who”! Factsheet 5 is not a person!
Girl: What?
–Park Slope
Indie kid #1: The Sidewalk Cafe is going to be, like, Mecca.
Indie kid #2: When the Anti-Folk Revolution occurs?
Indie kid #1: Yeah!
–Ave. A & 6th St.
Guy #1: I took the day off. I’m going up to Long Island City to see the doctor.
Guy #2: Oh yeah? What’s the matter?
Guy #1: I have to get this boil looked at.
Guy #2: Sorry to hear that.
Guy #1: Yeah, well…normally it’s not a problem. I just pop it and it all goes away, but this one, man, I’ve popped it three times and it’s still big and painful as hell. Normally I don’t complain about these things, but man, this one is right below my balls…and it’s killing me! They tell me it’s a hair growing the wrong way. How does a hair do that?
–A train
Kid #1, to kid #2 on bike: Come on, let me ride on the pegs.
Kid #2: No.
Kid #1: Fine, I’ll ride you.
–129th St, Rockaway
Overheard by: Robert
Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.
–Bedford & S 3rd
Overheard by: Rocky
Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?
–Broadway
Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.
–Q Train
Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!
–Ave C & 7th St
Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.
–Rockefeller Center
30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Tom Guest
Girl #1: I refuse to take a Women’s Studies class and lower my morals.
Girl #2: I have a friend in that class, he’s one of 2 guys in there; the rest are all man-haters.
Girl #3: I hear the only way to get an A is to come out during class, or say how you were abused as a child. I’ll stand up in class and say, “I live with my boyfriend but I’m a lesbian; can I have my A now?”
–Pace Unversity
Middle aged man: I feel as though methamphetamines don't destroy your mind so much as ruin your body and make you cover it in tattoos. It's not like they were on heroin.
Companion, nodding his head: Mmm-hmm.
–5th St & 19th St
