Man #1: … So that’s the real problem with being a drug dealer.
Man #2, noticing shocked little old lady: Yeah, I guess… Can we talk about this later?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Cameron Rose
Man #1: … So that’s the real problem with being a drug dealer.
Man #2, noticing shocked little old lady: Yeah, I guess… Can we talk about this later?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Cameron Rose
Woman #1: And so I told him, ‘I love New York, and I’m not coming back to Portland. When you get home, pack up our stuff and come out to New York.’
Woman #2: Wow. You better marry that boy.
Woman #1: Well, he’s already married.
Woman #2: Oh…
Woman #1: It’s okay, I’m in no hurry.
–E train
50-something Long Island woman, showing pictures of her dog while talking non-stop about it: And this is Cici wearing a hat, she usually wears a hat when she goes out. And this is Cici, very drunk…
–LIRR
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Guy on cell walking a tiny poodle: Dude! The dog did it again. (pause) No, I swear, dude. The. Dog. Did. It. Again. (pause) Dude! This dog talks. Talks.
–Broadway & 43rd St, Astoria
(little girl finishes petting a stranger's dog)
Girl's mother: Now say "thank you" to its human.
–Central Park Lawn
Hyper tween schoolgirl: Hey mom, remember when we brought the dog to the mall and he peed in a coconut?
–La Pallette, 12th St
Guy to friend: I love her more than anything, but something about the way her puppy's paws smell really seal it.
–Rosa's Pizza, Penn Station
Overheard by: Craig
Fat chick to cute friend's blind date: So, wait, is Jean Garafolo a man or a woman?
–Tribeca
Overheard by: Becka Dash
20-something blonde girl: Is there an English word for "quesadilla"?
–F Train
Checkout lady, pausing with a container of hummus after scanning it: Lots of people buy this stuff…what is it?
–Myrtle St
Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton
Woman entering RadioShack: Excuse me, do you have radios?
–RadioShack, 72nd & Broadway
B9 bus driver to passengers: Make a left here?
–B9 Bus
Overheard by: VeganBeauty
Chick #1: You shave? You have to show me how to do that!
Chick #2: It’s easy! Just remember to always shave down, not up — never, ever shave up!
–Bathroom, Essex between Rivington & Delancey
Overheard by: disgusted
Teenage blonde girl to another: You know what pisses me off? You can't look American.
Friend: Umm, yeah you can.
Teenage blonde girl: No, because you would have to look Indian, but all the Indians are dead. Christopher Columbus killed them all. I'm still really mad about that.
–G Train
Hipster Pee-wee Herman lookalike to friend: Oh, and when I give her anilingus to let me direct a show? You're totally gonna be in it!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Flea
Man: I believe some of this will be made up.
–Going into Wicked, Broadway
Overheard by: CAM
Black highschool girl: Oh my god, why do they keep singing?
—In the Heights, Broadway Musical
Overheard by: Cookie
Woman in Jersey accent: Is this the one about the boy who wants to be a horse or the girl who wants to be a fish?
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: HarlemRy
Daniel Radcliffe fan girl: I have to be in this show some day. Even if I'm eighty, I gotta be in this show with him. I'd be like, "put it in me! Put it in me!"
–At Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Nikki
Man leaving Hair: Well, that beats the hell outta Shakespeare!
–Outside Delacorte Theater, Central Park
Girl: What does your peanut butter taste like?
Friend, eating peanut butter: Was that a come-on?
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Guy, in chinese: Do you think I'm Harry Potter?
–Vivi Bubble Tea Bar
Girl on cell outside art bar: And I was like "Dumbledore, try some jeans."
–8th Ave & Horatio St
Overheard by: Jean Ann
Cute girl graduating to friend: I hate gowns… How does Harry Potter stand it?
–Columbia University Business School Graduation
Overheard by: Jen
Guy, after watching new Harry Potter movie: Man… that's it? That was a lap dance!
–42nd Street Movie Theater
Crazy woman wrapped in shawls: I'd kidnap and fuck Harry Potter for an eight ball of coke. (to onlooker) Why aren't you at work?
–Brooklyn Theater
Overheard by: JesseJack (I've got a Job)
Med student: I wish you were straight, so I could have sex with you right now.
Flamboyant friend, sighing: I'm not in the mood.
–Columbia University
