…And Potentially Fuck You?

Skater: Come on. Hang out.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Fuck you! You're a fag! You'd rather hang with your loser friends in this fucking rat hole? I would have fucked you, if you just came to Manhattan but…
Skater: C'mon hang. It'll be cool.
Murray Hill-looking PR-type chick: Oh, fuck this. I'm taking this cab. Have fun sucking your buddy's cock, asshole!
Skater, after watching her leave: Fucking bitch! (pauses, then asks perfect stranger) Hey, can I buy a cigarette from you?

–12th St & Bedford

Posted on November 19, 2022
BJs, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Penis, Sex, Skaters, Smoking, Strangers

Wednesday One-Liners Have a Big Endowment

Girl: We can't become gay just to fit in at this school!

–NYU

Passer-by: I pay $40k a year for school, and that makes me better than you.

–NYU, Tisch

Overheard by: Dan Lurie

NYU girl at party: My parents are actually really into civil liberties.

–NYU Dorm

NYU chick to friend: I love coke! (passing white lady gives her a strange look) I meant the drink, not the drug, lady! Jeez, I'm a minority student at fucking NYU! You think I can afford a coke habit??

–8th & University

Overheard by: Melissa Perez

Gay NYU student, rolling around on the ground in student lounge: I am obsessed with the ground. I mean, who's going to judge me? There's like six million Asians here and none of them are gay.

–Tisch Hall, NYU

Mother, pushing crying two-year-old in stroller: They're never going to accept you here if you keep screaming!

–NYU Admissions

Overheard by: Sam

Posted on November 3, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cocaine, Crying, Drinks, Education, Family Ties, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Kids, Moms, Money & Class, NYU, One-liners, Queer guys, Questions, Race, School and studying, Should've Used a Condom, Strangers, Students, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

The Hemingway Short Story That Never Made It to Print

Extremely buff gay man: Oh my god, guys! We're out fishing for anal!
Gay buddies, laughing: You're sooooo right!

–23rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Mimi

Posted on November 2, 2022
Ass, Backdoor, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Gays and Lesbians, Laughter, Queer guys

This Baby, for Instance.

Gay guy #1: Nice shoes!
Gay guy #2: Thanks. I got them by doing sexual favors… just like everything else I own.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on October 28, 2022
Compliments, Gays and Lesbians, On the Subway, Prostitution, Queer guys, Sex, Shoes

You Read the Post?? Queer!

Guy: No homo, but Derek Jeter has a pretty amazing ass. Probably the best ass in baseball.
Girl in front of him: Oh, it is not at all gay to appreciate Derek Jeter's ass. The New York Post once said it could stop traffic.

–Yankee Stadium

Posted on October 8, 2022
Ass, Beauty, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Sports, Yankee Stadium

Tonight's Movie: The Last Homorai

Black bag lady: Oh, look, I like this samurai boy here…
Attractive Asian man, passing: Ah, thank you for getting the cultural reference right!
Black bag lady: You married?
Attractive Asian man, walking away: No, I'm gay!

–Long Island City

Posted on September 8, 2022
Asians, Bag ladies, Gays and Lesbians, Long Island, Marriage, Race, Sexuality

Swedish Fishiness

Guy behind line of girls into the women's bathroom: Whoa!
Girl: Hey! You can't come in here!
Guy: It's okay, I'm Swedish–I'm practically gay.

–Madison Square Garden

Posted on September 6, 2022
Default, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Madison Square Garden

My New Wife, Wednesday One-liners

Guy: Man, you think Lee Harvey Oswald had good aim? You should meet my wife.

–B train

Overheard by: Jess Issacharoff

Woman: Her bridal shower was her sweet sixteen.

–F train

Queer on cell: Hi, Sweetie!…What? You got married? But honey, you’re gay!

–63rd & 3rd

Chick on cell: So did I tell you about the e-mail I got? This guy I met on-line, on Nerve–we went out on like three dates, like a year and a half ago. Yeah, so I got an e-mail from his wife and she was like, “Yo bitch, stay away from my husband.” So I wrote back, “Don’t e-mail me, e-mail your husband who’s been cheating on you for two fucking years.”

–33rd & Park

Teen girl: Yeah, he’s really lonely since his wife died 3 years ago. Now his best friend is his right hand and some skin lotion.

–Park Slope

Guy: Hey, how’s my wife and your kids?

–55th & Madison

Overheard by: Matt

Man on cell: I ain’t trying to see you nothin’. I want to marry you. I’m tellin you the truth. T-R-U-F-F. The Truth!

–Atlantic Avenue gas station

Overheard by: Megan

Gate agent: You need to listen to me. Don’t listen to your wife. Your wife doesn’t work here.

–Newark airport

Overheard by: jk

Posted on August 20, 2022
Age/Aging, Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, At the Airport, Brooklyn, Dating, Death, Gays and Lesbians, Infidelity, Internet, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Marriage, Masturbation, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, On the Subway, Park Slope, People, Places, Pop Culture, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Shoot, Venues, Violence, Women

The Island of Dr. Wednesday One-Liners

Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep.

–Elevator, 56th & 8th

Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama!

–Terminal 5

Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses?

–Cafe Esperanto

Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator!

–TriBeCa

Overheard by: lalala

Swanky pin-stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox.

–51st & 3rd

Overheard by: IG

Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers.

–4 Train

Overheard by: BQM lady

Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats!

–Astor Place

Posted on July 5, 2022
Accidents, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Black People, Blood & bleeding, Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Disney, Drinks, Drunks, Elevators, Foreigners, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, JFK Airport, Jobs & Careers, Men, Movies, Names, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Rich people, Stupidity, Suits, The Village, U.S. Geography, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness

Wednesday XXX-Liners

Overly flamboyant gay guy on phone: There is no way he can put himself through law school doing hardcore gay porn!

–Soho

Overheard by: Anastassia

Gay boy to another: Pornstars make good money.

–L Train

Girl: He wants to make money, but all his plans involve me being in porn. You know how long it takes to make a $1000 in porn? Three months!

–Destination Bar, 13th & Ave A

Overheard by: erkala

Heavyset dude to chick watching the Olympics: So I was watching curling porn the other day…

–Lucky Jack's bar, Orchard St.

Overheard by: Ladle

Guy to friend: I saw that girl in a porn video last night. She has a cock.

–William & Cedar

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on June 25, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Lower East Side, Money & Class, Movies, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penis, Porn, Queer guys, School and studying, Soho, Street, Time, Trannies, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Gays and Lesbians