Ditzy girl #1: Wait, tell them how you diet!
Ditzy girl #2: Okay, you'll think I'm a total ano, but… I eat lunch… And drink wine for dinner.
Ditzy girl #3: I think that's totally acceptable!
Ditzy girl #4: Yeah, that's fine!
–Rooftop, Hotel Gansevoort
Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a slight delay due to reports of somebody smoking crack… and other stuff… on the back of the train.
–Church Ave
Overheard by: Katie & Jaime
Teen girl, to older woman: You ‘posed to eat. Ain’t ‘posed to smoke no rock!
–Classon & DeKalb
Queer in RA’s office: Now, when we got there they were selling hash brownies and weed muffins — we were in Amsterdam — and everyone else was trying some, so I figured I would, too. Then we went to the Anne Frank Museum, and of course that’s when they started kicking in…
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Wishes he heard the rest of the story
Man on cell: I know, but then they started smoking crack on stage.
–10th St & Stuyvesant
Guy on cell: I’m at Stuy High… Whaddya mean ya don’t know what that is?! Gotta know where the weed’s at!
–Near Stuyvesant High
Man to concerned woman: Don’t think of it as buying weed from a drug dealer. Think of it as supporting a cottage industry.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: amused priest
Girl #1: You wanna hear something, like, totally outrageous?
Girl #2: Always!
Girl #1: …One side of my hair grows faster than the other.
Girl #2: No way! That’s so weird.
Girl #1: Yeah! Like, the right side grows faster than the left side, and I have to show up at a salon and have them cut off the right side but not the left.
Girl #2: …You’re weird.
–Carmine’s, West 44th Street
Chick: When I get mad, my Koreanness comes out.
–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: Lani A.
Guy : Cause she sounds like a goat. You know how a goat goes,” bwaaah, bwaaah!”
Girl : Word?
Guy : Yeah, she sounds like a goat…
–Lorimer & Powers, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Szymon
Not-so-chubby girl: Dude, I’m so fat.
Ordinary girl: No you’re not. You just got a little belly.
Not-so-chubby girl: Yeah…I wish I had fat magnets so I could put them in my bra. It would suck up all my fat and make me go up a cup size.
Ordinary girl: Wow. And I always thought plastic surgery was the only option.
–NYU
Yuppie girl #1: So he said he couldn’t date me.
Yuppie girl #2: Why?
Yuppie girl #1: He said he likes to date normal girls.
Yuppie girl #2: What?!
Yuppie girl #1: Yeah, like who likes normal girls?
–Spring St & 6th Ave
Woman: Excuse me, can you tell me something? Do I have a hickey on my neck? I have to go to a lunch and I just want to know if I have a hickey on my neck.
–SoHo
Overheard by: kim
Guy on cell: He shoved his hand in so many crevices that they looked like flippers.
–2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: gypsee
Drunk girl: If Bethany doesn't have legs, nobody has legs.
–1 Train
Overheard by: oliviz
Strange woman, seeing another woman massaging pressure points on friend's ear: She has a headache? It starts in the scrotum.
–M14D Bus
Man, missing stop: This is the problem with having a prostate that's bigger than your brain…you always forget to get off.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: rachel
Girl: She slept with Harry, and she didn't know he only had one hand, and afterward she still didn't know he only had one hand.
–Brother Jimmy's Restaurant
Overheard by: Joe
Girl #1: I hope if I ever go back to London, I run into that French guy I hooked up with last time.
Girl #2: Well, maybe when you go back you’ll meet a new French guy.
Girl #1: Looking specifically to meet French guys in London? I dunno, that seems like looking to buy a bra in a hardware store.
Girl #2: Yeah, but imagine you find that perfect B-cup in amongst the drills and such.
–C train
Thug: Why you gotta be white and ignorant?
White Girl: Why you gotta be black and belligerent?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Bacon
