There's No Wednesday One-Liners Like Show Wednesday One-Liners

Festering pedestrian: Well, he didn't mention my name at the Tonys, and for that I'll never forgive him.

–43rd St & 10th Ave

Overheard by: Ryan

Producer of an unsuccessful off-Broadway play: That's what this show makes me do. Everyday I get here and just squeeze my neck just like this, I just squeeze it. I don't do this anywhere else.

–Chelsea Theater

Overheard by: Kyle

Audience member to friend: Of course it sucks. It's Shakespeare.

—Macbeth Performance, Battery Park

Hipster guy: I think this play is by the same guy who wrote Ten Things I Hate about You

–NYCL Production of Shakespeare's Cymbeline, Central Park

Overheard by: digamma

Hipster girl: Last time I was in the third row, but I think I like these better. At least I won't get my head humped tonight.

—Hair Performance, Delacorte Theatre

Teenybopper at intermission: Joe Jonas would make such an incredible bodega guy!

–Richard Rodgers Theatre

Posted on October 31, 2014
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Battery Park, Body Parts, Central Park, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Teens, Theater, Theater & Dance, Weirdness

Scrooge McDuck’s Wednesday One-Liners

Fashionista to another: It didn’t taste that good, but I really needed the money.

–Madison Ave

Overheard by: John Galt Jr.

Fashion student: The thing I can’t stand about fine arts is how obsessed with money it’s become… Yeah, so I’m leaving the program to study advertising.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Overheard by: nova scotia

Security guard to another: I ain’t here for the money. I’m here for the fuckin’ prestige.

–Westminster Dog Show, Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Amber Star

White chick on cell: Hi, honey! How are you? Are you being tickled by coins? Are you being tickled by coins?!

–LaGuardia Airport

Overheard by: mela

Guy on corner: Can you spare any change or frequent flyer miles?

–14th & 6th

Overheard by: Scientific

Frumpy lady to Joey Ramone lookalike: I’m feeling awfully constipated, baby! Constipated with money is the way I like to be!

–3rd Ave, Bay Ridge

Posted on October 31, 2014
Airports, All Wednesday One-Liners, Arts & Letters, At the Airport, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Default, Fashionistas, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Madison Square Garden, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, Panhandling, Penn Station, Questions, Rich people, Security Guards, Store, Street, Students, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Weirdness, White People, Women

You Mean, Like, the Champagne Of Beers?

Girl #1: I think they have a lot of craft beers here.
Girl #2: Yeah, too bad I only drink champagne.

–Croxley Ale House

Overheard by: Joey Breakfast

Posted on October 31, 2014
Bars & Clubs, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Philosophy, Weirdness

At Least Not Until You Start Wearing Something Under Your Dress

Drunk girl: I want to do a cartwheel!
Sober girl: No. No, no, no.
Drunk girl: But I’m so good at them — and handstands! I can do mad-good handstands. Watch! Watch me! [Puts her hands on the ground.]Sober girl: I said no!

–E 10th & Ave A

Overheard by: simon says

Posted on October 30, 2014
Drunks, Girls, Gripes, Union Square and East Village

Just Discreetly Poison Yourself at Home Like a Lady

NYU girl #1: … Like those people who kill themselves by throwing themselves onto the subway tracks.
NYU girl #2: Yeah, right? I mean, I know you want to die and everything, but could you like not make me late??

–NYU Bus

Overheard by: wow

Posted on October 30, 2014
Default, Girls, NYU, On the Bus, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Suicide, Time, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

It's Made Him Selfish

Girl #1: So yeah, he's been telling my mom every time I fuck up.
Girl #2: Ugh. How old is he, even?
Girl #1: Like 40, maybe 50-ish.
Girl #2: So why, like, do you just not tell him to fuck off?
Girl #1: I want to, but he's been acting all bad-ass since he got cancer.

–Greenpoint YMCA

Overheard by: Anwar