Pour Some Wednesday One-Liners on Me

Fireman on loudspeaker, as he drives by Magnolia Bakery in fire truck: It's just a cupcake!

–11th & Bleecker

Overheard by: Chris

Disappointed 20-something girl to girlfriends: Yeah, but they don't have chocolate covered penises there.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Brookelyn

Large Italian guy: What happened to my tiramisu? That's what I want to know!

–LIRR to Penn Station

Girl covered in pink frosting on cell: There's frosting all over me!

–170th & Broadway

Overheard by: Poogins

Hipster guy on cell: Yeah, so the food was like chocolate and chorizo…mother fucking chocolate and chorizo… No, it was good… You should try it… Why not? Fuck veganism! Some website… Myjambi. M-y-j-a-m-b-i. Why chocolate? How should I know? It's for the website. Yes, the website! I don't know why the dog was there.

–28th & Park

Old woman to overweight woman: You look like you would know the answer to this… Where is a cupcake bakery around here?

–53rd & 3rd

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Diet/Weight, Firemen, Food, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Italians, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Old People, On Cell, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vegetarian & Vegan, Weirdness, West Village, Women

What What (In the Wednesday One-Liners)?

Russian woman to fat guy (after he yelled at her): Escooz me, cood you please poot your ass out of ze vindow so I can seet? (fat guy remains seated)

–B1 Bus

Overheard by: Robert

Gay: Your ass looks great! Have you started bottoming?

–Christopher St Pier

Young kid: 14th Street, like her ass on my face.

–Union Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Pza

20-something gay suit: My butt always causes friction.

–Elevator, Midtown Building

Sorority hungover girl talking about birth: I came out ass first, isn't that typical?

–Denny's

Guy to chick: We will use your ass as a presentational ass.

–Weight Room, Coles Gym

Overheard by: Ladle

Teen girl to friend: I feel like my butt just came off. You ever feel like that?

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: Alison

Posted on September 24, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Beauty, Buildings, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Elevators, Fitness, Foreigners, Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Queer guys, Queers, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sensory Experiences, Sorority Girls, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Suits, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Women, Words

Consumers of Popular Culture Are Also Its Victims

Hispanic guy: Oh, it's just a fag.
Hispanic chick: What?
Hispanic guy: I thought it was Jason Bourne.
Hispanic chick: You thought Jason Bourne was gonna come after us?
Hispanic guy: Yeah… Hey, look–it's another tattoo place! Tonight's the night!
Both together (singing): Tonight's the night!

–Stanton & Norfolk

Posted on September 23, 2008
Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Latinos, Lower East Side, Movies, Tattoos

I Don't Really Think You Have the IQ of a Semi-Retarded Iguana

Girl, as train stops: What did you just say?
Guy : …oh. Did I say that out loud?

–B Train

Overheard by: mayafied

Posted on September 23, 2008
Default, Etiquette, Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Questions, Weirdness

Should We Stop Moonwalking?

Ditz #1: Ugh, Union Square could not be further away right now.
Ditz #2: I know.

–12th St & University

Overheard by: Jesse D

Posted on September 23, 2008
Default, Girls, NYC Geography, Stupidity, The Village

Doesn't Explain the Colonel Sanders Suit, Though

British chick: Do you think that you have an accent?
American guy: I've moved around a lot, so I've got a pretty basic American dialect. I've got a bit of a southern drawl, but that's more because I'm lazy.

–R Train

Posted on September 22, 2008
Brits, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Languages, On the Subway, Questions, U.S. Geography

Kiefer Sutherland Had Us All Fooled

Loud Latina #1: He was just, like, just so gross. He was all like, “Nobody loves me and my life is so lame.”
Loud Latina #2: Really? I didn't get that from him. I got, you know, “Hey, I'm a typical white guy.”

–Columbia University

Overheard by: anna

Posted on September 22, 2008
Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Gripes, Latinos, Race

That Does Explain Your Consistently Bad Breath

Jersey chick: Is it weird that I want to put it in my mouth?
Guy: Yes.
Jersey chick: I just like want to put it in my mouth to see its consistency.

–NYU

Overheard by: Jesse D

Posted on September 21, 2008
Body Parts, Default, Girls, Guys, NYU, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

What Men Think Women Talk About All Day

Girl: I really like your Uggs.
Other girl: I like my jugs too.

–Forever 21, Outside Penn Station

Overheard by: i like them too

Posted on September 21, 2008
Compliments, Default, Girls, Nipples, Penn Station, Shoes, Store, Words

Suddenly Sober, Alice Put Out the Cigarette

Drunk chick: I don't care if you let me I'm smoking this fucking cigarette. (lights it)
Driver: Brunettes are slutty.
Drunk chick: What?
Driver: It's okay, I like slutty chicks.

–Taxi Cab, Williamsburg

Overheard by: where's waldo?

Posted on September 20, 2008
Brooklyn, Cabbies, Compliments, Default, Drunks, Girls, Insults, Smokers & Smoking, Smoking, Weirdness

Girls