That’s the Biggest Wednesday One-Liner I’ve Ever Seen on a Man

Worker: … Just stick it in your pocket. I mean, seven inches isn’t bad.

–Grand Central Station

Overheard by: EthanK

Guy: So I tried to set my password to "Penis".
Girl: […]Guy: It said my password wasn’t long enough.

–66th & Broadway

College kid to girlfriend: You make me feel sometimes like ten inches isn’t enough.

–12th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Strand Customer

Asian girl on cell: It’s six inches. [Laughs.] Wait… What’s six inches?

–CUNY Queensborough

Drunk guy pissing against wall, on cell: I got my dick out at 14th street! Yeah, it’s 14 inches!

–Union Square

Posted on April 14, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Drunks, Frat Boys, Girls, Grand Central, Gripes, Guys, On Cell, Penis, Queens, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

But Noooo, the City's All, “Boo Hoo, We're Secular Humanists!”

Pissed dude on train: You know, it'd be a lot harder for people to hold the doors if they were razor sharp.
Friend: That's not funny.
Pissed dude: I'm just saying people might hold the doors less if were going to lose a limb every time.

–F Train

Posted on April 13, 2015
Default, Friends, Guys, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Violence, Weirdness

Yes, Once Upon a Time, the Knicks Won

British white guy with dreads: Where are we?
Girl: 34th Street.
British white guy with dreads: 34th Street? Isn't that where that miracle happened?

–34th St

Overheard by: GV

Posted on April 13, 2015
Brits, Girls, Guys, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, Questions, Religion, White People

Except For Occasional Embarrassing Antics in the Back Seat, the Invisible Man Found His Condition no Impediment to Driving a Cab

Guy #1: I mean, what’s PDA about the back of a cab?
Guy #2: Well…
Guy #1: The cab driver? Give me a break–he doesn’t count. There’s no place better to make out in than the back of a cab.

–Verizon Wireless store, 86th St

Posted on April 13, 2015
Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Store

Meet the Man Who Programs New York’s Crazies

Normal guy: So, you know this guy was unarmed…
Crazy beard guy: Sure.
Normal guy: Well, needless to say, people died that night. That’s all I’m sayin’.

–12th & 1st

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on April 13, 2015
Crazies, Death, Default, Guys, The Village, Violence

Clap If You Believe in Wednesday One-Liners

NYU guy: I'm like a centaur, if ya know what I mean.

–University & 4th St

Overheard by: sarah

Female hipster to friends: Well, vampires are the new zombies!

–147th & Convent

Thuggish straight guy to another: Oh, I'd much rather be a faggot than a demon, dawg.

–Park Ave & Spring St

Overheard by: Christopher Schulz

Interviewer, trying to convince interviewee: There's not much of a future in being an elf.

–Macy's

Italian woman, staring at guy wearing Ghostbusters t-shirt: You donta lika da ghosts?

–Meatpacking District

Overheard by: Looking for my proton pack

Posted on April 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Hipsters, Italians, Jobs & Careers, Magic, Manhattan, Movies, One-liners, Questions, Sexuality, Store, Street, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Thugs, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Washington Heights and Inwood, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Wednesdays Rogaine Their One-Liners

Loud girl to friend: Tell them you want fuckable hair! Fuckable hair!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Girl to friend: You mean her boob-look hair puff?

–52nd St & 6th Ave

Ghetto woman to another: Why he be mooning everyone with that hairy ass?

–53rd & Lexington

Overheard by: tommy a

Man to friend: I'm Mexican, man; I was *born* with a mustache.

–Grand & Orchard

Girl, enunciatively: I support chest hair!

–Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: DI

Posted on April 12, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Guys, Hair, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nipples, One-liners, Physical appearance, Questions, Sex, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

The Demographic for Derek Jeter's Cologne Slowly Reveals Itself

Guy #1: I didn't know people in Brooklyn wear Yankees caps.
Guy #2: Since when do you care about baseball?
Guy #1: I like to watch baseball when it's on.
Guy #2: When is that? After Project Runway?

–Carroll Park

Posted on April 12, 2015
Brooklyn, Guys, Parks, Questions, TV, Yankees

Birthplace Of the Soup Renaissance

Dude, looking at soups: What the hell kind of funny person puts bread in soup?
Female pal: It's Tuscan.
Dude, nodding sagely: Oh, well then.

–Park Ave & 54th

Overheard by: pumpkin

Posted on April 12, 2015
Food, Friends, Guys, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Questions

From That Day on Conan the Vegitarian Was Never the Same.

Guy: Hey, do they have vegan food here?
Girl: No, you have to rip the meat apart with your bare hands and then fuck some bitches.

–NYU Dining Hall

Headline by: Spazzy

Runners-Up:
· “After Dinner, We Invade the Roman Empire” – billsburg boy
· “And Then You Lose Your Veganity…” – Stick
· “Most Aggressive Lunch Lady–Ever” – #5 in line
· “NYU Also Provides Us with Spears and Roofies.” – presents
· “NYU’s New Wildly Popular Caveman Dining Unit” – Naked Lunch
· “Unless You’re Patrick Bateman and Want to Reverse Those” – KateNonymous
· “We’re All Lesbian Cavegirls in College” – Dariclone

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on April 12, 2015
Girls, Guys, Headline Contest Winners, NYU, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Vegetarian & Vegan, Weirdness

Guys