Ghetto woman on cell: No, no… he ain't ghetto. He ghetto fabulous.
–28th & Lexington
Ditzy tourist: Did you know that, like, all the trains with numbers go to all the rich places and all the trains with letters, like, go to the ghetto areas.
–6 Train
Loud guy: Is that a 50 cent soda? You know you in the ghetto when you got a 50 cent soda.
–Jackson Heights
Woman on cell: That bitch is mad ghetto. She wore her wedding dress to work.
–Lenox & 118th St
Overheard by: K
Guy: Do I look like I ordered strawberries and cream? I have tattoos on my head and face!
–Starbucks
Being a full-time tranny is like having a tattoo on your forehead. Like, you can't work, like, what do you do?
–Brooklyn
Customer to another, about barber: Take him for example, he was in the special forces. He's got a big tattoo on his arm that says, "Kill 'em all, let god sort 'em out." Drop him off in Prospect Park today and tomorrow he'll be eating a sandwich.
–Park Slope Barber Shop
Overheard by: ian daywalker
Chatty young woman to bored-looking guy friend: You know, my shoes would really look a lot better if I had a foot tattoo.
–D Train
Man with tattoo that reads "don't go to hell" to friend: There's a funny story behind this tattoo. I was dating this bitch, and she would wake up every morning and suck my dick. Or fuck the shit out of me. And then tell me I was going to hell. You have no idea what this bitch put me through. I mean, sexually, she was great. We'd go out to bars and both of us would pick up chicks, so that by the end of the night we'd have two or three women hanging around us trying to go home with us.
–Chipotle
Overheard by: Jana
American tourist on phone: So, I've just been to ground zero and it's like totally overrated; it's just a hole in the ground.
–Central park
Sensitive guy: She's probably the number one cause of post-traumatic stress syndrome since 9/11!
–Restaurant, 46th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Man, looking out window: Looks like they are building something.
–WTC Path Station
Tourist: That building is really tall, I think it's the World Crade Center!
–Brooklyn Bridge
Cheerful tourist dad taking photo of tourist family: Smile and say 9/11!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: CJW
Summer camp counselor to young summer camper: Why you so afraid? That's something you can see in the Bronx!
Summer camper: Aaahhh!
Summer camp counselor to young summer camper: It's just a pigeon!
–Central Park Zoo
20-something black guy: Daaamn girl, you got a number?
Teenage black girl, pushing stroller: I got a baby.
–Bed-Stuy
Dirty guy to woman: Damn, baby!
Woman to dirty guy: Nigga, pleez! I eat more pussy then you do!
–Centre & Chambers
Angry young man: She fucking broke up with me over a handjob!
Impassive friend: Well, how did that happen?
Angry young man: I was about to cum, and she was there, right there!, you know? Between my legs! So I told her I was going to, and she just fuckin' stared at me. I was like, “Baby, this is coming.” Seriously. It does happen. “Lift your shirt up or something,” I said to her. You know? And she just, fuckin', on her knees, shuffles backwards and to her left–a good three yards away- still whacking me off. So, I'm like, “Baby, what the fuck? You can't give a handjob from across the room.” You know, dude? That's like one of those fucking old people extending claw arm shits jerking you off from the corner when you're sitting in the center of your room! Fuck, dude!
Impassive friend, laughing: Yo, I'd blue-ball you, too, if you called me a fucking robot while I was getting you off!
–Forest Hills
Overheard by: FrankALank
Dude: Do boobs need a reason?
–Perdition bar, 49th & 10th
Overheard by: Brokeass Harem
Guy: This is high school. Breasts are usually an effective way of determining gender.
–Stuyvesant High School
Old woman with Julie Andrews accent: I used to be quite buxom!
–Chinese Restaurant, 55th & 6th
Wife to husband: Did you see the tits on that Santa?
–Outside Penn Station, During SantaCon
Curvy woman on cell: Accessories? Oh please. My breasts are accessory enough.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: McFreaky
Older man: If you drank a thousand gallons of beer, and then took off your pants…
–79th & West End
Girl to guy with beavers on pants: Excuse me, are those beavers on your pants?
–6 Train
20-something preppy girl on cell: Whenever I'm cheating on my boyfriend, I take off my pants and pretend to be an albino bunny.
–Central Park
Overheard by: that one girl
Guy on cell: If I don't get in her pants tonight, I'm gonna fuck you up!
–1st Ave
Aging drag queen to friend: It's much better than sick obsessions with blond males between the ages of 18 and 25 who always take their pants off to play GameCube.
–The Village
Overheard by: Amused NYU Tischie
McDonald's cashier: You gonna eat all that yourself? Haven't you seen that movie Supersize Me?
–McDonald's
Overheard by: Blayne
Thug: Yo, shorty, lemme buy you something special at McDonald's, show you I ain't a cheap date… why you laughin?
–117th St & Lexington
Overheard by: Jesse D
Obnoxious Southern tourist: Let's take a taxi back to the hotel, and then take the truck and eat at McDonald's again.
–W 49th & 5th
Overheard by: canucks
Haggardly old lady on cell: Damn, dude, I saw you at McDonald's checking me out yesterday!
–Broadway & 4th St
Overheard by: Jalex Leoley
Born-again evangelical, proselytizing: Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald's makes you a hamburger!
–Staten Island Ferry
Bro: If she doesn't want to go to McDonald's every once in a while, I don't love her.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: alana h.
