Black guy: I prefer to keep my lesbianism in question. Sort of like a wave function.
White girl, cutting him off: Ah! Don't talk about wave functions ever!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: but keep talking about the lesbianism
Black guy: I prefer to keep my lesbianism in question. Sort of like a wave function.
White girl, cutting him off: Ah! Don't talk about wave functions ever!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: but keep talking about the lesbianism
Bro #1: Yo, Michael Jackson just died! He's dead!
Bro #2: No way! Oh man… Well, as long as it's not Dave Matthews…
–LIRR
Overheard by: fungus
Dude, hitting on girl: So, I'm going to NYU to study for my master's.
Girl, with dim-witted enthusiasm: I want a master's!
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Guy #1, looking at menu: I am thinking about the ravioli, but what is “arugula”?
Guy #2: It's what Obama eats.
–Atlas Cafe, 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Aria
Headline by: Kristen
Runners-Up:
· “Better Than What Clinton Ate- OHHHHH” – Emily Leonard
· “Children?” – BabakganoosH
· “Damn Liberals and Their Fancy Foods” – Trey Jackson
· “It Pairs Well With Bud Light” – Having my own beer summit.
· “She’s an Intern” – Timo
· “So It’s Like… Capitalism?” – Zpike
· “So Michelle Is Just Her Stage Name?” – jloubelle
Loud woman on cell: And then he had the nerve to ask me if it was cause he's black! I was like, "it's not cause you're black, it's cause you slept with that stripper!"
–Starbucks
Midwestern grandmother, seeing granddaughter play on subway: She's working on her pole dancing, just like her mother.
–E Train
Young Asian guy, telling stripper what he does for a living: Do you even know what a hedge fund is?
–Strip Club, Queens
Thug to girlfriend, pointing at totem pole in museum: You know what those be? Fancy stripper poles! (makes techno music noise with his mouth)
–Museum of Natural History
Blonde chick on cell: Oh my god, Mike, just fuck her and get over yourself, I really don't care! (hangs up, to friend) I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps calling me asking me if it would break my heart if he slept with the stripper we met at the bar on Saturday.
–NYU
Overheard by: i wish i had me a girl like that
Serious, tired, cute guy on cell: So you remember the stripper that has been hassling me? Well, I went out with her and her girlfriend on Tuesday, and stuff got out of hand… really out of hand–like Budapest out of hand! (pause) I don't know, but I woke up in fucking New York City!
–Penn Station
Dude to another: One of us threw up in Joanna's underwear drawer, so she was really pissed.
–181st & Bennett
Girl to another: Well, you don't want to throw up in front of the guy you just had sex with!
–7th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Girl in diner booth: I'm about to throw up in my pants.
–Henry & Court
Overheard by: Alex
Train conductor lady: I am not playin'. People need to get home. Get all the way in or get off. If you are vomiting, please exit the train. I will keep this train right here and kick off every damn one of you wearing green.
–Penn Station, St. Patrick's Day
Guy, vomiting on tree: Man, fuck that tang.
–Carlton Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Zoe
Guy #1: You know when you have to take the kind of dump when you have to take your shirt off?
Guy #2: Yeah?
Guy #1: It was like that.
–Ave A & St. Mark's
Guy, bitching to older woman about roommate: I see her maybe once every ten days.
Woman: Is she a dominatrix?
Guy: No, she's just a dumbass!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: David K.
Street hustler: Ladies, wanna get pregnant? Try angel.
Girl in group of three: Did he just ask if we wanted to get pregnant?
–36th & 7th
Overheard by: dani solina
