[A woman is dragging a five-year-old boy into the women’s restroom.]Boy: I don’t want to go in.
Woman: Come on, it’ll only take a minute.
Boy: But you can wipe your ass by yourself now!
–Times Square
[A woman is dragging a five-year-old boy into the women’s restroom.]Boy: I don’t want to go in.
Woman: Come on, it’ll only take a minute.
Boy: But you can wipe your ass by yourself now!
–Times Square
Cashier: Here’s your change. Have a good day.
Smoker: Matches.
Cashier: There’s no matches left, sorry.
Smoker: No matches? Without matches it’s not worth it.
–Rite-Aid, Bensonhurst
Teen girl #1: Ew, foreskin, like why? Get circumcised. Clean it up.
Teen girl #2: Seriously. Right. Oh god I’d never go down on a guy with foreskin, not even the guy I’m marrying.
Teen girl #1: I’d be like, take care of it and then talk to me.
Teen girl #2: Seriously.
–47th St & 21st Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: Thankfully Circumcised
Nervous hipster: You know, it's really true what they say about friends with eczema…
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: chris
Guy on cell: So she got cancer, big fuckin deal!
–1st Ave & St. Mark's
Man on cell: Next time they call, just politely say there's no one here with diabetes.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lola Black
Woman exiting car: There's this bump between my ass and cooch. I think I should get that checked.
–W 4th St
20-something guy to 40-something woman: Look, I'm not saying I'm not concerned about my hand being sticky, but I'm more concerned about malaria.
–Café
(friend #1 looks into friend #2's Duane Reade bag)
Friend #1: Athlete foot's medicine?
Friend #2: Yeah, it's summer.
Friend #1: No! Just pee on your feet in the shower. I learned that from Madonna!
–Duane Reade, Chelsea
Overheard by: Wil Reyes
Gay Asian man: Sorry I sound like a drag queen today.
Girl: Are you sick?
Gay Asian man: Oh no, it's hangover voice.
–FIT
Overheard by: Rins
Woman #1: Omigod! I didn’t know that our lungs were so small!
Woman #2: Um, those are the kidneys.
Woman #1: We have two of those?
–South Street Seaport Exhibition Centre, Fulton Street
Old time New Yorker to EMS workers and crowd: Sit down!
Suburban princess: God! Have some compassion! Can't you see she's sick?
Old time New Yorker: Fuck you!
–Subway Series 2007, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Amazed Mets Fan
Happy guy looks at two happy girls: Aah, look how happy they are! That is how it’s supposed to be around here.
Unhappy guy looks at two happy girls: They look too happy, considering they’ve probably contracted multiple STD’s just this week.
Happy guy: So you’re not happy today?
–Union Square
Little girl: Have you ever seen an emergency on the train?
Dad: No, sweetie.
Little girl: Have you ever seen an emergency at home?
Dad: Oh, yeah, I have. Remember when Uncle George cut off his ear?
–N train to Manhattan
Overheard by: ADC
