Suit #1: So this is Manhattan.
Suit #2: I need a blowjob.
Hobo: How much you paying?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: James Dean
Suit #1: So this is Manhattan.
Suit #2: I need a blowjob.
Hobo: How much you paying?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: James Dean
Hobo: I want to fuck you someplace fairly uncomfortable.
Hipster: Did that bum just quote Mallrats?
–Orchard St
Hobo to girl: You shouldn’t be here. [Vomits the contents of his stomach on her] Do you have the time?
–Rivington & Allen
Overheard by: Rachel
Hobo: Please, anything. Anything will help. I need to feed my children.
Male passenger: I got some cookies.
Hobo: Yum! I love cookies.
–6 train, 23rd & Lex
Tourist, pointing at hobo: You stay right there. I’ll be back; you have my word.
Friend #1: What are you doing?
Tourist: I’m going to give this guy some money, but I don’t have any on me.
Hobo: Bless you.
Friends all open their wallets.
Hobo: Bless you, guys. See, we’re all working together!
–7th Ave between 8th & 9th, Park Slope
Overheard by: jayloo
Hobo: Young man, do you have any change to spare?
Guy: No, sorry.
Hobo: How about a $100 bill then?
–83rd & 3rd
Man to wife: …and I said, “What are you: a crackhead?!”
Young daughter: What’s a crackhead, Daddy?
Man: It’s someone that slipped and cracked their head.
Strung-out hobo walks by, asking for change.
Man: See, honey. He’s a crackhead.
–E Fordham Rd & Lorillard Pl, the Bronx
Lady: Hey, how do I get to Court Street?
Hobo: Two blocks that way…See, we’re not all that bad. You got any change?
Lady: No, I know. Shut up. I’m a social worker.
–Brooklyn Heights
Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?
–14th & University
Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.
–Walker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Wolf
Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.
–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: nosy cinephile
Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.
–13th & University
Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?
–Office, W 36th St
Overheard by: Evan
Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.
–Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?
–Walgreens, Union Square
Overheard by: Goldie
Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.
–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St
Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!
–Tompkins Square Park
Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.
–Century 21
Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!
–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th
Overheard by: Shaina
Tourist girl: Oh my God! That bum, his balls are showing! I’ll give you twenty bucks if you go up to him and say, “Excuse me, sir, but your balls are hanging out.”
–Penn Station
Overheard by: mb
Guy: Yeah, there is this great picture of me taken a while ago. I am sitting on the couch with just my boxers on and I am all ripped and I look really good except no one pays attention to how good I look because you can see my nut sack is hanging out.
–49th & 10th
Overheard by: Grace Tydwr
