Tourist girl: Oh my God! That bum, his balls are showing! I’ll give you twenty bucks if you go up to him and say, “Excuse me, sir, but your balls are hanging out.”
–Penn Station
Overheard by: mb
Guy: Yeah, there is this great picture of me taken a while ago. I am sitting on the couch with just my boxers on and I am all ripped and I look really good except no one pays attention to how good I look because you can see my nut sack is hanging out.
–49th & 10th
Overheard by: Grace Tydwr
Hobo: Can you spare some change for the homeless?
Drunk girl: Yeah, right. Sell that backpack first.
–4th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andrew Schulte
Drunk hobo: You are so fucking beautiful. I am in love with you. Please let me give you a hug.
Girl #1: Please, no.
Drunk hobo: Why all you white girls hate on black people? We not all that bad.
Girl #2: It’s not because you’re black. It’s because you’re covered with open sores and blisters.
–Manhattan bound L train
Overheard by: Far
Hobo #1: Back in the day, lesbians were forced to get married to men.
Hobo #2: So what happened?
Hobo #1: They got jobs and can afford to have girlfriends.
–53rd & 5th
Overheard by: Victor C.
Hobo: Hey, can you spare some money?
Man: Sorry.
Hobo: That’s my favorite board game!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Jason
Hobo: I wish my girlfriend was here! We went to the supermarket fifteen years ago, and she never came back. “I’ll be right back,” she said, but she never came back! Sixteen years, and I’m giving up.
–64th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ash
Guy: Yo, so did you do the AIDS walk thing?
Girl: No. I don’t have AIDS.
Hobo: Not yet she doesn’t.
–Columbus Circle
Hobo: That’s it. I’m revokin’ ya hood pass! Don’t go past a hundred and tenth!
–80th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Jeremy Cristol
White girl on cell: I can’t take the subway now, it’s 10 o’clock. I’m not black.
–67th & 2nd
Singing hobo: Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip —
Girl with a lot of rage: Shut the fuck up! I hate that fucking show. Gilligan’s Island. Fuck you, man.
–Union Square
Amiable but very intoxicated hobo: I don’t believe this, how long you been a seargent?
World’s weariest transit copy: Eight years Miquel, you drunken jackass.
–Port Authority
