I’m Sure Your Brother is Saying the Same Thing

Guy on cell: …so I say to her, “Why the hell do you have a cell phone if you don’t use it?”. God, my brother is an asshole and my girlfriend is a moron!

–Clinton Street

Overheard by: nappytee

Posted on March 12, 2015
Assholes, Cell Phone, Family Ties, Guys, Insults, Lower East Side, On Cell, Questions, Sex & Relationships

Oh. Snap.

Guido #1: So what you you think about this new shirt?
Guido #2: It’s fucking great. You should buy another one just like it and throw them both out.

–Hudson Hotel, W. 58th Street

Overheard by: MIchael G

Posted on March 12, 2015
Clothing, Guidos, Hotels, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen

‘I’ Before ‘E’, Except After ‘C’, or in Wednesday One-Liners

Guy on cell: Yeah, it’s weird, it feels like I’m still alive.

–W 8th & Broadway

Guy: I still think surprise necrophilia is weird.

–Robert Louis Stevenson School

Overheard by: Lucas

Man to woman companion: I hate single people. They’re all weird.

–90th b/w 2nd & 3rd

Man on cell: February is a weird month for Jews.

–9th St. and 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Hannah

Trader Joe’s employee to another: No, I would not call her weird. It takes a lot for me to call somebody else weird because I am not the most normal person on the planet myself. Meow!

–Trader Joe’s, Union Square

Overheard by: Ingwall

Observant girl: Just because you get weird haircuts doesn’t mean you’re smart.

–Bowery & Rivington

Posted on March 12, 2015
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Grocery Stores, Guys, Hair, Insults, Judaism, Lower East Side, Men, On Cell, Relationships, Sensory Experiences, Street, The Village, Time, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women

What About People Who Misuse “Subtlety”?

Woman: Wow, your face is really red! What happened, sunburn?
Cashier girl: No…allergic reaction.
Woman: Ooh…what are you allergic to?
Cashier girl: Rude, obnoxious and tactless customers.
Woman: Oh, so you get a lot of those, hmm?
Cashier girl: Ugh…Oh yeah, I forgot, and stupid ones that don’t get subtlety, either.

–Stop & Shop, Long Island City

Overheard by: mshorty

Posted on March 10, 2015
Biotechs, Body Parts, Cashiers, Colors, Customers, Health and Hygiene, Insults, Store

And the Children, Of Course

Woman #1: Oh, the hell I had to go through with that fucker for this Tiffany!
Woman #2: I know.

–E 41st St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: penetrode

Posted on March 10, 2015
Fashion, Gripes, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Women

Always Address the Smartest Person in the Room

Crazy lady: Fucking bastard liar, what a piece of shit. A piece of shit and a liar! Look at him with that shit-eating grin on his face.
Passerby: Are you talking to me?
Crazy lady: No, I’m talking to myself.

–Tompkins Square Park

Overheard by: maximus prime

Posted on March 10, 2015
Crazies, Insults, Parks

…Well? Where's My Applause?

Rushed New Yorker shoving through tour group: Excuse me, excuse me…
Tour guide: Don't worry, folks, most New Yorkers aren't this rude.
Rushed New Yorker: Screw you! Yes we are, that's what everybody loves about us.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: I agree