Tween girl #1: What? Seriously? You are so dumb. D-O-M!
Tween girl #2: It’s D-O-M-B! Are you kidding?!
–57th & 5th
Tween girl #1: What? Seriously? You are so dumb. D-O-M!
Tween girl #2: It’s D-O-M-B! Are you kidding?!
–57th & 5th
Guy dressed as Santa: Hey, man, got a cigarette?
Random guy: Fuck no, I got a beef with you, Santa!
–Bar, Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Keavy (loves Santa)
Female tourist: Look–he just gave the other driver the finger!
Male tourist: Isn't that just like saying “hi” in New York?
–72nd St & Central Park West
Overheard by: Gazoo
Ten-year-old wannabe thug: I'ma put this can of pepper spray up your ass! You want me to put this up your ass?!
–Old Navy, Harlem
Worried bearded 50-something: Yeah, but how are we going to film an anal birth!?
–F Train
Street vendor selling his wares: I will shove your foot up the devil's ass!
–St Mark's Place
Yankee stadium employee yelling to another: Hey, wouldja bend over for a minute? I'll be right back!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: torrie
Gay teen: His hole was as big as a traffic cone!
–1st & 14th
Sinfully ugly girl: I have to stop putting things in my ass.
–forever 21 (queens center mall)
Overheard by: defragment my harddrive
Young girl: Mommy, is Canada in Europe?
Sister of young girl: Of course it is, stupid! It's right next to Quebec.
Mom: Uh, no honey, it's in…
Sister of young girl: It's in Europe.
Mom: No, it's in…
Sister of young girl: Europe!
Mom: Fine! Canada is in Europe.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Lydia
Guy on phone: Listen, dude. Whenever you hang out with me again, don’t bring your wife. She’s a bitch.
–42nd & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Maria
Homeless man on cell: The brother needs to know when to wear a rubber, man. That’s some easy pussy. The bitch just needs a crib to bang in.
–Lafayette & Broadway
Queer: That bitch called me and was like, ‘I swallowed a bunch of pills.’ And I’m like, ‘Obviously that shit didn’t work, now did it — if your ass is calling me? You need to get yourself into the Drano. I’ll wait on the line while you do.’
–W 4th & 6th
Overheard by: Matthew K Johnson
Gangster girl to gangster boyfriend: I hope I don’t have to fight nobody on this train or else I’ll go Jet Li on this bitch.
–D Train
Overheard by: Kate
Woman: Stand clear of the closing doors. Please don’t hold the doors unless you wanna get bitch-slapped.
–A Train
Overheard by: Josh H
Black man on cell: Alright, you go take a shower and wash that kitty cat real good. [Hangs up] Right, that bitch never fuckin’ do nothin’.
–Metro North train to Grand Central
Overheard by: pepepepepe!
Eight-year-old girl trying to catch up to group of girls her age: Wait up, bitches! Wait up, you bitches! [Girls don’t wait for her] Beeyotches!
–91st & 2nd
Bike guy: Well why don’t you shut up, bitch?
Woman: Whatever.
Bike guy: I’ll break my dick off in your mouth.
–Spring between Broadway & Crosby
Dude: Shit in the pussy!
Wolf Parade singer: …Did someone just say “shit in the pussy”?
–Bowery Ballroom, Delancey Street
Overheard by: claudia gallego
Suit: Hey asshole standing up, sit the fuck down!
Hipster guy: Hey asshole sitting down, stand the fuck up!
Suit: I didnt pay $800 to look at the back of your head!
Hipster guy: Come down here and try something and i’ll sue your ass! Nice suit, fag!
–Cream Concert, Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: zetasmack
Girl: Hey, you guys were great. If you’re not doing anything after, call my number, I wrote it next to the monument [on this dollar].
Jurassic 5 singer: Wow..uh, great. Take care, now.
Girl: Yeah, see you later.
Jurassic 5 singer: …Dude, she just gave me her phone number. You take it.
Guy: Yeah? Wow, thanks!
Jurassic 5 singer: Yeah, but buddy, you make sure you tap that shit, now, y’hear? A’right.
–70th & Broadway
Overheard by: Sharon B
Pat O’Brien: Um, excuse me…
Bouncer: Oh shit, that’s Pat O’Brien, that’s my peoples.
Guy: …Aw, come on, we’ve been waiting out here for an hour and Pat O’Brien gets in?
Bouncer: Yo, don’t step, Pat O’Brien is good peoples.
–Canal Room, West Broadway
Drag queen: Madonna should die! She sucks! She’s a rapist, not an artist!…Madonna should die! I’ll kill her!
Guy: Get a vagina, bitch!
–The Roxy, West 18th Street
Overheard by: G-Lock
Russian girl: Yo, this tip is crooked.
Asian nail tech: It not crooked, you Russian girls always complaining.
Russian girl: Stupid gook!
Asian nail tech: Oh, at least you get slur right! Everyone always “Chink! Chink!” I'm fucking Korean!
–Asian Nail Salon, 86th St
Very drunk suit: Hey, bartender! Do you know what a car bomb is?
Irish bartender: Yes, it’s Spanish for, ‘you’re an asshole.’
–3rd Ave
