Man in cast: Nah man, I can't I don't have health insurance.
Creepy man: You don't have health insurance?! I can get it for you! Just give me your social security number!
Man in cast: Oh yeah?
–East Village
Overheard by: Gina
Man in cast: Nah man, I can't I don't have health insurance.
Creepy man: You don't have health insurance?! I can get it for you! Just give me your social security number!
Man in cast: Oh yeah?
–East Village
Overheard by: Gina
Panhandler: Are there any Christians here who could help me out? Any Christians who can spare just one penny? (no one gives him any money, so he goes to next car)
Panhandler (muttering) I can't believe there's not one Christian who'll help me out.
Man standing nearby (yelling): Amateur!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Iris K
Drunk and disorderly woman: Joshua! What the fuck?! (gives him a clumsy punch) Oh my god! This shit's not gonna come off!
Sober male companion: I don't know what you're flipping out about. You would've just licked it off your arm anyway.
–Ave U & W 7th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Kris S.
Man on phone: Well, I got a shirt but it wasn't quite what I was looking for, so I'm gonna go to Whole Foods and get some breadsticks.
–Astor Place
Older, bespectacled white male at table with wife: Motherfuckin' tube socks…
–Jazz Standard, 27th & Park
Overheard by: V
6'6" man (earnestly): Honestly, if I were Hillary, I would never wear a pantsuit! You know what I mean?
–Bellevue Hospital
Overheard by: Ingwall
Cracker: I hate fighting rastas. Man, I really do. It's those hats…you never know what they're hiding in those fuckin' hats!
–Marcy & Broadway
Man: Do you realize you just offended a man carrying an organic tote bag?
–6 Train
Overheard by: wb
Barfly to bartender: Is that your belt or a wrinkle in the fabric of time?
–Thirsty Scholar, 2nd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: Jas
Guy: Okay, we can invite him too, but you have to remind him that pants are a requirement, not a mild suggestion.
–Uptown 2 Train
Middle aged man at the end of police show (exhausted from dancing around the suite all night): Wow, I can't believe I kept my pants on!
–MSG Skybox
Overheard by: Russ Beef
Man to friend: And like, man I wasn't gonna drink anything, but I smoked like one hundred blunts and was so high and I was like taking my pants off and shit.
–1 Train
Overheard by: batou187
Ghetto guy to ghetto friends: I remember the day I got my Reeboks like I remember the day that I peed my pants…when I was too old to pee my pants.
–A train
Overheard by: Hannah
Guy on phone: I think that may be slightly humiliating though, if the pants actually come off. And someone feels the chicken cutlets inserted in your underpants for some added power.
–19th & 8th
Overheard by: Joey
Woman: It's almost impossible to have a relationship in this city. I make more than most of the men I find attractive.
Man: If you weren't my boss…I would hit that.
Woman: Yeah but… What?
Man: I'm just say'n.
–59th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: BobbyKane
Man collecting money: One penny, one penny! No one should be hungry!
Little child: You're wrong! Stop saying that!
–Waverly & University Place
Overheard by: Obviously a Republican
Drunken woman: So why did you decide to marry her?
Drunken man: Because she just moved in!
–Ayza Wine & Chocolate Bar
Overheard by: Colleen
Middle-aged woman (excitedly): So I met a great 75-year old man!
Middle-aged man (also excitedly): Are you going to marry him?
–W 13th St b/w 5th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: NYU girl
Punk rocker to ghetto chick: Say…you ever been fucked by a smelly guy in a banana suit?
–J Train
Overheard by: Markthrone
Loud, laughing redhead on cell: Ha ha! I'll plant another pear tree, and that will be Tricia!
–W 57th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Brosef to girls (oddly aggressively): Which do you like more, bananas or oranges? Say it!
–14th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Rooting for bananas
Guy on cell: Did you order the poster of the banana?
–Central Park
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Overachiever mom to 5-year-old girl: No, I'm not saying that you have to have a piece of fruit. I'm saying that when we get there, you'll get to choose. It'll be your choice. You can choose fruit or you can choose a granola bar. (pause) Of course, fruit is the healthier choice.
–7th Ave & 26th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Heavily tattooed man: So we started playing this game. We shoved grapes up her ass, and she had to drop them in a martini glass.
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Housey
